Everyday Combat

As the teacher dragged the piece of chalk across the blackboard, making the entire classes ears cringe out of pain, I folded my arms on the desk, and rested my chin on them as I carried on with my little Monty Python style sketch, my mind too much a buzz with thoughts of how I could possibly get out of having to put up with Sarah after school. Or remember what it was I'd promised mom I would do after school last night anyway.

I'd always loved Monty Python; it was like my de-stressing mechanism since it was all just...stupid and silly humour. Right now I was obsessing over The Holy Grail, hence the top I wore that day and the fact every one of the characters in my cartoon - which were me and my friends - were dressed up all Medieval like. Even though my cartoons came out pop artish.

Which was all down to the fact that that was my cartoon style.

The plot line so far - since I found myself writing this in every English lesson - was that we were searching for the secret sword of Huntington to slay the evil Knobflopper who lived in CardboardBox Cave city. Yes we were using the infamous coconut halves instead of actual horses.

Once I'd filled that sheet up I passed it clandestinely to Brian who grabbed his black marker and went round the lines for me, as I began the next one. Once Brian was done, it was then passed on to Jimmy who coloured it for me. That's why I loved being clever so much; it meant me and Zack got to skip a grade - as had Sarah, lucky for me. Not. - so we were in the same classes with the guys and would all graduate together.

From my right I heard Brian trying to stifle laughs, and I glanced across through my black rimmed glasses and he looked across at me with a stupid grin. Then he chucked a scrappy piece of paper to me. I picked it up with my long slender fingers and opened it, letting my eyes take in the words.

u wel shud b a comic strip writer :D your fucking awesome!

I leaned forward to see Jimmy who gave me the thumbs up, with an added grin and I grinned back. I couldn't care less that my teeth were decorated with green braces, because I knew my friends didn't care.

"Mademoiselle Baker," MrsKnobflopper Knoefler asked and I looked up to meet her.

"Mrs Knob- I mean Knoefler," I quickly corrected myself and most of the room snorted laughs, obviously hearing my small mistake. I really had to stop calling her that, but then it wasn't my fault she was always getting herself pregnant and had such an easy name to change appropriately.

"Would you, since you obviously know this book inside and out, care to tell the class about Jem and Scout?" It always defeated me why they had a French woman teach an English lesson. Especially this French woman. At least she was on maternity leave as of next week.

I sighed and put my head back on my arms, carrying on with my cartoon as the entire class watched me. I cleared my throat. "No, li non dirò loro circa questo libro creatore del bambino obsessed sesso francese silly. Se desiderano sapere dovrebbero leggerli essi stessi e lisciviare fuori dell'intelligente popoli. Non alimenterò le menti dei idiots brainless perché non si ricorderanno di comunque. Inoltre, sono un artista non un autore. Lascimi la zappa che sola siete solo jealous del mio talento."

Zack burst out laughing instantly, almost falling off his chair as he did so and I turned my head to my left to look at him as he tried to breathe, all the while I giggled at my him. My friends were all stifling laughs, but only because they were laughing at Zack. They had no idea what I'd just said to the teacher.

"Excuse moi?" Mrs Knobflopper said, her eyes pinning on me where I was at my desk.

"Non li capisco, prego parlo in italiano," I said, clasping my hands together neatly on the desk top and looking up at her with a straight face.

"Monsieur Baker, could you possibly translate your sister for me and the class?" She asked turning to him. She was now standing between our desks, glaring at us both. Zack was still laughing, hitting the table with his palm whilst resting his forehead upon it, and starting to wheeze because he couldn't breathe. Instead of actually speaking he just shook his head. "So you do not understand the language your twin sister just spoke?"

"What?" Zack now said sitting up confused and breathing out a remaining few giggles. "Of course I understand what she just said, that's why I was laughing. What? Did you think our parents would only teach one of us our family's mother tongue and not the other?"

"Well then would you please tell me what she just said?" Mrs Knobflopper was getting frustrated now with our reluctance to either tell her what was said or talk in a language she could understand.

"Scopata fuori!" Zack exclaimed and all our friends laughed. What? You really think we wouldn't teach them, our closest and bestest friends, how to swear in Italian? Go bang your head up a wall till it hurts, for that!

"This is exactly why people shouldn't teach their children foreign languages," Mrs Knobflopper grumbled as she stalked away from us and back to her desk. It was clear she had given up and that yet again we had proved that if a teacher doesn't know what you said, they can't give you detention.

Even if you completely slurred them or told them to fuck off.

Thankfully the bell rang out then and there was a mass movement of students as we all leapt to our feet, hurriedly grabbing our books and things together, to cram into our bags. Then, as one we all hurried towards the doors to escape. Well, maybe not since we always sauntered away from the class.

Since at least two of us - one of those two usually being either Zack or myself - would piss her off every lesson and since she let us get away with it we took our time to leave. "Fino alla volta prossima, signora Knoefler," Zack and I grinned simultaneously, with our simultaneous wave that made her shudder.

Once outside of the classroom in the clearing halls I stretched my arms over my head as we all awkwardly stood in front of the classroom door, effectively rendering it blocked. Brian moved up beside me and passed me my drawing which I hastily put carefully into my binder to stop it from creasing.

"Off to Zack's then," Sarah declared in a painfully cheerful voice and I scowled as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Oh joy," I mumbled sardonically and felt a poke in my side only to see Brian giving me a look; obviously he heard that. "Anyway, we've gotta go see grandma today."

Zack looked away from where he had his face in the crook of Sarah's neck kissing it - which made me want to be sick right there in the hall - to meet mine with a look of panic. "What?"

"We promised mom we'd go visit grandma today at the home," I repeated.

"Oh, well I kinda promised Sarah I would hang with her," he said giving me one of those 'sorry but I'm blowing you off' looks.

"Yeah but Sarah, I'm sure, will be here for a few more years than grandma," I pointed out even if thinking about him and Sarah being together for years made me feel sicker than ever.

"Faith, just tell her I'm sorry and that I'll see her tomorrow okay?" Zack asked with a pleading look in his eyes.

"I just thought it would be nice to spend a bit of time with you and grandma without everyone else for once, that's all," I retorted feeling less angry that he was spending time with Sarah and more upset that he didn't want to spend time with me at grandmas.

"Please Faithy?" He pouted, ignoring my cry for attention. "Pleeeeeeeeease?"

I gulped, feeling a hot burning sensation behind my eyes. "Fine," I mumbled before spinning round and stalking away. When I was sure I was far away enough for them not to know, I brought a hand up to my eyes to wipe away the tear in the corner. But I guess I was busted when an arm draped itself over my shoulders.

I looked up and saw Brian who was smiling at me, before hastily wiping my face and nose. "I'll come with you kid, just answer me one question."

"That would be?"

"Which of your grandmothers is it?" He chewed on his lip pensively and I chuckled at him, reaching up to pinch his cheek.

"Don't worry, it's not the Italian one," I informed him and he let out a sigh of relief.

"Good and I say if you do not mind, we stop at McDonalds on the way because I am absolutely starving, babe," he smiled before stopping in front of me. "Your carriage awaits milady."

I grinned and hopped up, wrapping my arms around his neck as he grabbed his own around my thighs so to hold me. Then, as we walked, I rested my chin on his shoulder and directed him. Even though he knew full well how to get to McDonalds. After a while of silence I let out a content sigh.

"What was that for?" Brian questioned as he set me down at the edge of the parking lot.

"You're the bestest friend I've got out of everyone right about now, you know that?" I asked as I removed my glasses and stuffed them in my bag. I only really needed them - according to my doctor and optometrist - when I was reading or had headaches, so why I was still wearing them at that point I had no idea.

Brian wrapped his arm around my waist, drawing me closer before planting a soft kiss on top of my head, "And you're my bestest friend out of everyone, Faith." With that he stuck a hand out to the door, and held it open for me, before following me into the cool building filled with little kids and stressed out parents. "I think everyone is starting to think we're secretly dating, you know?" Brian spoke up thoughtfully after a few moments of debating what he wanted; I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you being serious?" I asked incredulously as I pulled some money from my pocket. "Do they really?"

He laughed and nodded before meeting my eyes. "They've never said it to me but I can tell they think it. I mean, we spend just as much time together as Zack and Sarah do."

I nodded in agreement, still smiling in amusement at the thought. "Hmm...we are kind of a bit attached at the hip aren't we?"

"Yeah, but only cause we have every lesson together really," he then added. "And I know I have them with Zack too, but it's easier to talk to you because you actually listen. And your super brain helps me with homework. And teaches me how to swear in Italian."

I shook my head with a chuckle at the last two reasons before stepping up to the counter to order my food.