Everyday Combat

With my food I wandered over to a booth near the window and Brian hastily followed before slipping in opposite me. I dumped my bag at my side before shifting myself so that I was leaning up the window with my short legs along the red leather cushioned seat.

Brian watched me for a few minutes before shaking his head with a laugh and stuffing some fries into his mouth and letting out a satisfied moan. Yes, Brian moans when he likes food. "Seriously," he said pointing a fry at me as I dipped a load of mine into the little pot of BBQ sauce on our table. "Why can't our school serve this for lunch?"

"Because it'll make the anorexics worse," I giggled in response. "And you're getting fat enough as it is."

"I am not fat!" He protested in a pitch higher than normal before lobbing a fry across the table. I squealed, jumping away from it and he sat laughing at me. "Besides, not everyone has a good metabolism rate like you."

"I know, I'm perfect," I grinned jokingly across the table at him as I flicked my hair. "It's a burden I've learnt to accept."

"No, you are not perfect. I am perfect," Brian responded with just as vain a grin. The only difference was, Brian did actually think and act as if he was God's gift to women some times. Although funnily enough he only did it when he was with Jimmy. "You, my dear Faith Baker, are fuckable."

"Bri-aaan!" I yelled, lobbing my sauce covered fries across the table at him.

"What?!" He yelled back defensively swatting at the fries. "I can't say it in front of Zack! He's too protective of you! We can't even say you have pretty eyes without risk of being beaten up by him!"

"I am not 'fuckable' as you so crudely put it," I mumbled, as I swung my legs round and pulled my milkshake towards me, to slurp the thick brain-freeze inducing stuff inside the Styrofoam cup.

"Seriously Faith, I would date you!" I choked on my milkshake, spitting some of it out onto the table, and brought my emerald coloured eyes up to meet his dark eyes as he gazed at me with a serious look on his face. I just stared at him incredulously, my jaw slightly agape. "I really mean it! It's just, well firstly it would be too weird and since you're my best friend I don't wanna risk it. And secondly, try your 5'10 hip attachment."

"Who has his own hip attachment," I grumbled sourly sucking too hard on my milkshake and resulting in the horrible resounding pain that ran through my entire head, hurting not just my head but my jaw too. Brian just laughed at me which only stood to make my mood sour even more.

Then Brian stopped when he realised I wasn't going to see the funny side of this. He sat forward, putting down his burger and looked at me carefully. "Why do you hate her so much?" He asked with the tiniest frowns. "I mean, you were almost like best friends and then all of a sudden in the last three or four months or so it's just kinda...not. If that makes sense."

"You know I don't play nice with girls," I retorted.

"That's not a good enough excuse Faith," he frowned deeper, pointing an accusing finger at me. "If that were the case then you would never have got along."

I tilted my head backwards to look up at the ceiling with a tiny sigh before slumping further into the cushions. I looked back at him as he sat, watching and waiting for my answer to his question. "Okay look, on the one hand I don't hate her because she makes Zack so happy and no girl has ever done that before."

"But?"

The familiar hotness sprang to the back of my eyes again and I bit down on my lip hard, as I looked at the table and away from Brian. I didn't like talking about this. I didn't like admitting just how much I depended on my brother, not even to my family. It made me feel weak, like I couldn't ever be dependant or stick up for myself because I needed Zack to do it all for me.

The big horrible truth was that I was scared of the world and everything in it and only Zack was there to protect me.

I felt the first tear slip from my eye and screwed them up to stop anymore.

"Faith?" Brian said softly, and when I didn't answer I felt the weight on the cushion shift beside me before an arm appeared around my shoulders.

"I feel so invisible," I whispered as I tried to hold back the tears. "Some times I feel like he can't be bothered with me and he never talks to me anymore the way we used to," my voice was shaky and I just knew that at any given moment it would break. "We used to come in every Friday night, and camp out in the living room, just the two of us and have a movie marathon and wouldn't go to sleep until dawn. Now," I wiped the back of my hand across my nose. "Either Sarah has to join us or he has to go to bed early because he promised he would do something with her the next day. I mean what about me?" I yelled the last bit, looking up at Brian's face knowing he had no answer but asking anyway. "Maybe I wanna do something with my brother for once without him having to bring Sarah along or being on a call to Sarah whilst we're doing it or talking about nothing but God damn fucking Sarah!!!"

I screamed the last part as tears poured from my eyes. And it felt good to have it all off my chest. The only problem was, I was dumping this on Brian who never argued with anybody in the group except for me and I know I was making him uncomfortable by giving him all of this shit.

I was a fucked up kid to do that to my friend.

I should be having this conversation with Zack but like I said, I feel invisible to him now.

"Faith, Zack loves you more than anything," Brian said quietly as he rocked me. It was almost as if we weren't even in McDonald's.

"No he doesn't," I retorted bitterly. "He loves Sarah more than me."

"Faith listen to me," Brian leaned away from me, holding my gaze as his hands rested on my shoulders. "He may never admit to it, but every time you so much as leave a room to go to another in the same building, he will sit and he will be so nervous something is going to happen to you it's not even funny. It's like a proper phobia, Faith. He is scared shitless of losing you. Now don't tell me he doesn't love you as much as Sarah if not more, if he does that."

I wiped my nose and eyes, and looked away from him.

"And besides, what you and Zack have no-one could ever dream of having," he smiled as he pushed my hair back behind my ear. "Not even Sarah. I mean, who else do you know who are so in sync with another person they talk and say exactly the same things at the same time?" Then Brian let go of me with a laugh and shook his head. "Even worse than that!"

"Go on," I said in a quiet voice.

"In biology this morning you were writing at exactly the same speed word for word. Then, when Matt made that joke you both laughed at the same time and looked round at the same time, answered the same thing, said the same thing to the temp and then carried on with your work," he said and I gave a small smile. "If you two didn't have such a close bond, do you really think scientists would want to study you for some TV documentary?"

"No," I answered.

"And will Sarah be able to do any of that?"

"No," I answered yet again.

"Right, so you shouldn't worry as much as you are doing," Brian said poking me in the side. "Anyway, lets go see your nan. She might give us a nice dose of food poisoning."

I grabbed my bag, wiping my eyes some more before his words registered in my mind and I reached out and thumped him hard. He whined and rubbed his hand up and down where my fist had connected with his upper arm. "Leave my nan alone, she's awesome."