Counting the Miles

I wanted to kiss her, my best friend’s younger sister. This was not allowed, nor was it safe.
I was lying in my room at the apartment, starring at the ceiling. We had gotten home from the party a couple of hours ago, the morning sun threatening to pop up over the horizon. I sighed and rolled away from the window.
Starring at the door, I groaned. How could I have let this happen?
The last time that I wanted to kiss Bella, I did. She was eleven, and I was fifteen. It was the summer, the last summer, at the lake house. I was about to start high school and my friends made fun of the fact I never kissed a girl. Bella came around the corner and smiled when she saw me.
She walked over to me, opened her mouth to ask me something, and I kissed her.
We never told Mike about it, he’d probably kill me. Just like he’d murder me now if he found out the thoughts running through my mind.
Dancing with Bella was exhilarating, feeling her body sway through my fingertips, feeling her body press against mine, feeling her hot breath on my skin. My flesh rose in bumps and I sighed.
“I’m screwed.”
- - - - - - -
“Thanks for last night,” Bella said grinning hugging each of my roommates.
“Anytime, come back and visit, Grace would love you,” Mark said hugging her.
“I want to meet her, so don’t you worry I’ll be back for sure.”
I said bye to each of my roommates and we headed out to the car. As I was throwing our bags in the backseat I felt her hand on my arm.
“Want me to drive, you look exhausted.” I nodded and smiled at her.
“Only for a bit,” She smiled and nodded. Swiping my glasses off my head she grinned and jumped into the driver’s seat.
“Bells,” I groaned as I sat in my seat.
“I lost mine,” she said pouting. Sighing I shook my head.
“Fine.”
- - - - - - -
“Um Ace, I think we’re lost.” I opened my eyes and looked around. Bella had parked on the side of the highway. I took the GPS off the holder that was suction cupped to the window and tapped the screen.
“It’s been frozen for an hour.” I looked at her.
“Why didn’t you wake me sooner?” She shrugged and looked nervous. I reached around the back and grabbed the map.
“Well what was the last sign you saw?”
“I think the Dallas miles sign,” she said quietly.
“Bella, that is the wrong way.” Her eyes got huge.
“I’m so sorry, while you were sleeping there was three different highways and I didn’t know so I figured this one.”
“It’s fine, we can figure out a new route.”
“No, we were supposed to see your mom.” I looked at her, then the map.
“We haven’t passed it yet, it’s fine. I can still see her.”
- - - - - - -
We were stopped in front of a white house, with brick stairs leading to a huge wrap around porch.There was a white wooden bench swing, and there were bikes parked on the edge of the porch. The two-story house had yellow and blue curtains floating through the open windows, and sounds of children yelling coming from the house. Bella looked at me, smiled, and took my hand.
“You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to.” I shook my head.
“We came all this way, you took that highway for a reason. I need to do this.” I opened the door and looked at her.
“Do you want to come with me?” She smiled and got out of the car.
We walked up to the house, and she rang the doorbell, which we heard go off through the whole house.
A small girl opened the door, she had bright blue eyes, freckles, and long brown hair. She kind of reminded me of myself when I was younger.
“Hello,” she said smiling.
“Hey, sweetie, is your mom home?” Bella asked smiling.
“Sure, hold on. Momma!” She said running off and leaving the door opened. I glanced inside and heard another child yelling, a cartoons blaring out of the TV.
The door opened wider, and my breathing stopped.
“Jacob?”
- - - - - - -
We were sitting in her kitchen; Bella was sitting on the floor with Ben and Emma. My half siblings.
“What are you two doing here in Texas?” My mom asked as she sipped tea. I held my own in my hands and suddenly anger started rising in my chest.
“Jake is driving me to my shore house in New Jersey,” Bella said standing and sitting beside me. “He was nice enough to offer so I wouldn’t be alone.”
“And your Michael’s sister?” She nodded and looked at me.
“Yes, you know my best friend? The family I basically lived with after you left, actually I should say abadonned me?” Bitterness dripped down from my voice. Bella looked nervous next to me, I wish I could grab her hand to calm her down.
“Jacob, maybe we should speak alone?” I shook my head.
“No, this was a mistake. I’m out, Bella come on.” I scrapped my chair against the wood and Bella jumped up and followed me out of the house.
“Jacob,” my mom said. I looked back at her while Bella walked outside. “Please.”
“No, I don’t know why I thought this would make me feel better. I chose to go to school in the same state as you, hoping you’d come see me, at least just once. You don’t give a fuck about me. I should’ve known the entire time, part of me was hoping that you would care about me for just a fragment of your time, well now I do know that everything I hoped for is just a dream.”
- - - - - - -
Bella starred at me as we drove on the highway. The encounter with my mom seemed to happen ages ago, but it was merely an hour ago. Bella took my hand that was gripping the gearshift and rubbed my knuckles.
I felt my fingers relax, and didn’t realize how sore they were from gripping the leather.
“I’m proud of you,” she said.
I looked at her and smiled.
“Thanks for coming with me.” She nodded and relaxed against the seat, slightly turning towards me.
“I would never make you do that alone.”
At this point we were a day away from leaving Texas. And I wanted to have some fun again; I looked at her and smiled.
“Want another adventure tonight?”
- - - - - - -
I found us a hotel outside of Dallas, and look through the GPS for any bars nearby. There was one near our hotel, and the girl flirtatiously told me at the hotel, that they didn’t card people ever.
“Bells, are you almost ready?” I heard her muffle reply from the bathroom and sat on the bed.
She opened the door and walked out, her straightened hair was curly, she had on white shorts, making her legs look longer and more tan, and a brown tang top that when she turned around the back was see through but had this design. She slipped on some sandals that wrapped around her ankles. She smiled and spun around.
“Does this work?” I nodded, afraid to speak and stood up.
“I have to watch over you.” She laughed and took my hand.
“Well you’ll be my dance partner so it’s fine, nothing will hapenn to me.”
- - - - - - -
When we got to the bar it was after 11, and no one was sitting outside carding, so I hoped it’d be okay. We got in, and it was busy for a Thursday night. I pushed my way through the bar and ordered two beers.
Handing one to Bella I took her further away from the bar. Down the hall there was a dance floor. I kept seeing her eyes trail towards the room.
“Let me have a couple of beers first,” I said whispering into her ear as the music pounded through the speakers.
She nodded and smiled as she drank her beer. I finished mine and headed to the bar to grab another. I looked over my shoulder to make sure she was still there when I saw a guy walk over. She smiled and talked to him, that’s just how she was. She talked to anyone who took time out of his or her day to talk to her. He leaned closer to her, put his arm on the wall to support himself and she laughed. She looked over at me and sent me a small wave; I nodded at her, and then watched as the guy looked over.
He sent me a small glare, looked and said something to her, then moved on. I released a breath, and shook the thought. I needed to stop thinking about her like that, she was my best friend’s kid sister, and that was it.
- - - - - - -
“Please, come dance with me,” Bella said. Her grin was more relaxed; I knew that after three beers it was getting to her. Her fourth was almost gone, and I smiled and nodded.
“Sure,” I took her hand and led her to the dance floor. The music was turned up about ten notches. She smiled and raised her beer above her head as she found a spot near the middle. I pulled her closer to me and let the beat take over our bodies. She grinned as she rocked her body against mine. Finishing her beer I took it to the trash and came back. She grabbed my neck and pulled me closer, I wrapped my arms around her waist and let her slide up to me.
Her face was inches from my neck. I gripped her hips and felt her push against my body with her own. My mind was racing with a thousand looks.
She looked up at me under her eyelashes and I lost it, I leaned down and pushed my lips to hers.