Something Beautiful.

"We should swap coming out stories sometime," Noah says and I pause for a thoughtful moment. My hand not holding the phone reaches up to absentmindedly trace the tattoo on my bare shoulder. It's Saturday evening, and even though I just got home from the White's house a few hours ago Noah called me to talk on the phone. Not that I mind, at all. I could talk to Noah for days. It's just the topic we're on and the topic on my mind that I'm carefully dancing around that's bothering me.

My thoughts drift to the first time I stayed at the White's house when Nick asked me what the tattoo meant. I told him it was nothing, just my sentimental side, but I just didn’t feel like sharing with him, kind of like I don't feel like sharing with Noah right now. I can't feel where my tattoo is on my skin, but my fingers know exactly where the ink is and my index finger traces the four letters over and over again. This is just one of those things I don't say.

And yet, this is a part of me. It's the part that brought Jules and I so close, and the part that drove me away from everyone else in my life. I'm just getting to know Noah, and even though his guard is dropping around me, my guard is smaller but also more resilient. The wall around my past is too strong, and even now I don't want to break it open.

"Maybe," I finally say softly in spite of myself. The thing is, the part of me that answered him sees myself with Noah. Not just with Noah, but actually with him. Opening up to him, learning everything about him and letting him learn everything about me. Because really, that's all everyone wants, to find someone they can be with.

Noah must have noticed the pause or my tone because he quickly changes the subject to something that we don't have to dance around. I try to focus on our conversation, but my thoughts keep snaking back to freshman year. If one thing can be said about that year, it was definitely one full of change. It’s when I met Jules, became best friends with him, and he was the one who completely changed my life. As weird as it sounds, he did, and now he's my absolute best friend. My fingers trace my tattoo again and I'm thinking about Jules. There's no way we could ever not be friends, not after everything we went through.

"Ya know?" Noah asks and I'm immediately pulled back to the conversation I had momentarily left. I agree with him and he laughs, the sound like music in my ears.

I'm not sure how long we talk on the phone, but it’s so easy to get lost in Noah's voice that by the time we hang up my eyelids are drooping and I'm fighting to stay awake. I had planned to wake up early tomorrow and have an extra long run while my parents were at church, but now I'm thinking there's no way I'll ever be able to wake up. I'm a little disappointed, but talking to Noah is honestly a better trade off than running.

*****

The next week passed quicker than I would have expected. Everything felt so different to me after the date with Noah, but somewhat surprisingly everything at school was completely normal. I mean, it makes sense that it was. Nobody knew about the date and Noah and I weren't even dating, but over the course of a few hours my whole world had been turned upside down by this one fragile boy, so it seemed odd to me that school would be the same.

I went to the same classes and turned in homework like always, woke up and ran every morning, and ate lunch with the same people. It seemed like my world had changed, but really it was just me that had a different perspective.

Madison was being nicer to Jules, even if she continually turned him down at the start of every lunch. Her being an aide during our French class actually worked to our benefit because whenever Madame Delacour was finished with our lesson for the day Madison would come and sit by the three of us, helping Noah more than me, but helping nonetheless.

We continued our tutoring lessons in the library every day and Nick had even stopped checking in on us before he went home. Noah riding home with me was kind of a given now, but with Jules running almost the whole week after school I don't really know what Nick did after class was over. He had talked about going out for our school's basketball team since he played at his old school, but he had only mentioned it in passing and never really made a committed choice as to whether or not he'd play.

I decided to take Noah on another date on Friday, even if it was only dinner before the football game. Saying I had been nervous to pick him up would be a complete understatement. I was iffy on going into his house to pick him up last time, but now that it was common knowledge around his house that he's gay I was afraid his parents would see this as the date it actually is, not just two friends getting a bite to eat before the game.

Don't get me wrong, I love the White's. They're great people and I love being at their house, I just wasn't sure if I was ready to meet them as the guy who's taking their son out on a date. Besides, I had stayed at their house enough times and been left alone with Noah while they went to church. What were they going to think about that? I mean obviously nothing had happened, but I was afraid of how they would read into it.

As it actually went, though, there was absolutely nothing to worry about. Noah's dad had tried to play the part of the concerned father, but the guy likes me and ended up laughing during his act. I did get a completely serious 'take care of him' before we left, but over all it had gone great, nothing to shit my pants about.

I took Noah to a cafe on Main Street so we could eat and have some hot chocolate before the game because it was freezing tits outside. Halloween was in exactly a week and a day and with a light drizzle and north wind I was all but frozen to my seat by the end of the game even though we were bundled up and wrapped in blankets with Jules and Nick.

Our team won by a lot, and after the game Nick suggested we go to an after party since we never really do anything, but Jules refused and said he had to go home and start resting for his district cross country meet. Nick said he was a total pussy for not wanting to do anything, but I understood. Jules had been getting closer and closer to breaking the school record every week so district was big for him. He wanted to win all of these last few meets right through the state meet so I don't blame him for not wanting to do anything.

In the end Jules went home and Nick, Noah, and I went back to my house and pulled an all nighter while we played video games. Noah seemed comfortable and I was happy so it was one of the best nights I could have asked for.

*****

Right now I'm getting dressed, trying to make sure I'll be warm enough for today. Nick and I somehow got permission to be the 'managers' of the XC team so we could go watch the district meet today, and how we pulled it off I'm not really sure, but I got a phone call from Jules Sunday asking if we wanted to get out of school and watch him run, and who would be fucking stupid enough to pass up getting out of school?

Anyways, Nick and I have to be at the school by six so I'm totally missing another run. It's honestly a little annoying to miss one of my runs so I can go watch a bunch of other people run, but skipping my run leaves me enough time to go through my whole morning routine plus have breakfast and play with Tiger since I'm leaving my hair curly today.

As I'm buttering my toast I hear a noise and turn to see Tiger walking towards me. I frown at her as she limps more than usual, but I don't see anything to blame for it. Hmm, it seems like its time for another vet trip for the poor girl. I let her outside to pee and when I'm hit with a gust of wind I make a mental note to grab another jacket before I leave. It's gonna be a cold day for sure.

By the time I get to the school the bus is almost full and Nick is waiting for me inside by the locker rooms. We wait for a few minutes but Jules is nowhere in sight so we eventually make our way to the bus.

"Jules?" I call out across the rows of seats. Everyone on the bus seems to be asleep, but I'm hoping Jules is awake because knowing him he's about to throw up somewhere. Just as I'm about to give up and look for him in the locker room A tuft of red hair slowly appears above a seat at the very back of the bus.

"What do you want, Salop? Can't you tell I'm a bit preoccupied?" He offers no other explanation before disappearing back behind the chair and I can hear a blast of music before his headphones are put in his ears. Nick shoots me a quizzical look but I just shrug. Combine morning Jules with pre-race Jules and you've created a monster.

Nick and I slowly make our way to the back of the bus, carefully stepping over sleeping bodies that are stretched out across the aisle and I even have to jump over a couple kids that are sleeping on the floor of the bus in the aisle. I understand it's early and the meet is almost two hours away, but the floor of the bus? Football guys have probably peed where they're laying.

When we finally reach the open seats by Jules Nick and I collapse, and I immediately want to follow the lead of the rest of the team and fall straight to sleep, but Jules needs a pep talk first. I reach over the back of my seat and gently poke him in the ribs but he doesn't respond so I poke him again and again, harder each time. After about five pokes he opens his eyes and glares at me with a cold stare.

"What do you want, Salop?! I'm trying to take a fucking nap and you won't leave me the hell alone! I don't know why I even invited you two idiots along on this. Can't even take a goddamn nap... putain!" Jules looks clearly agitated, but I just chuckle quietly.

"Calm down bro," I tell him as a pat him on the head. "You're going to do great! You're going to win and you're going to break the school record." Nick grins at me and looks as though he's about to say something, but Jules speaks again.

"I know this," he says. "But I won't even be able to run a fucking mile if I don't get to sleep on the way there, okay? So leave me the hell alone!"

"But Fries," Nick whines, "We came here just for you! What good does that do us if you just go to sleep?"

Jules shifts his glare so he has a clear view at Nick and I can't help but let a little giggle emit my lips. I've loved being best friends with Jules these past three years, but there's just something great about having three people be best friends. You can always gang up on each other and it definitely makes times like this even better.

"It will do you good," Jules replies seriously, "Because then I will be able to do what you came here to do, which is watch me win district and set a new record, right?"

"Yeah," I agree, "But you're going to win -"

"And set that record, no matter what. So why not have fun on the way there?!" Nick finishes, throwing his hands in the air. Jules groans and collapses back into his seat, letting his head hit the pillow he has shoved up against the wall of the bus. His gangly legs stretch all the way across the aisle and take up most of the seat across from him too.

With one more glare at each of us for good measure Jules puts his headphones back on and throws a blanket over his face. Nick looks over at me from across the aisle where he's sitting on the end by Jules's feet and shrugs before sinking down in his seat as though he's defeated. Nick opens his mouth to say something to me, but I shake my head and hold a finger to my mouth to make sure he stays quiet because I'm not done yet.

With a quick look around the bus to make sure everyone is still asleep, I perch myself on the top of the bus seat that is separating Jules and me. I slowly position myself to make sure I won't hurt him when I land, and then just let myself fall over the edge of the seat, landing right on top of Jules.

"The fuck?!" he screams, writhing under my weight. He tries to shove me off, but I wrap my arms around him so I won't fall. "COACH HENDERSON!" Jules yells at the top of his lungs. Everyone is sitting up now, wide awake. I let go of my grip on Jules and roll under the seat, coming up on my side.

Jules is now standing in the aisle looking livid, but Nick and I are rolling with laughter. The coach stands in the middle of the aisle at the front of the bus and nods at Jules.

"Good to see you to, son. I just think you're a little over excited right now. You might want to sit down for a little. On the other hand, you have everyone awake, so I can now talk to everyone. We're gonna have a good meet today, people. Top ten automatically advance to the regional meet, and the top the teams also go. The thing is, we don't care about that, right? Our goal is winning district. Nothing more, nothing less. Go out and run like you know you can. Trust your training, believe in your team, and go. We've got this people!"

With that Coach Henderson takes his seat and the bus begins to pull out of the school parking lot. Jules sinks back into his seat and glares at me again, mutter something in French about how much of an asshole I am, but I can't help but laugh as he lays down to go to sleep. He's definitely all pepped up to run now.

*****

When we get to the meet the sun is up but I almost think it's colder than it was earlier. Nick and I get off the bus first to set up camp while the coach talks to everyone, and by the team joins us Jules is over his grumpy stage and onto his 'yeah, I'm about to barf' part. I think Jules like this is particularly funny, but I decide against messing with him now. Everyone's all serious, and the look on Coach Henderson's face tells me joke time is over.

The girls go to warm up and Jules is laying on the mats with a blanket over his face softly whispering to himself, so Nick and I sit at the edge of the tent and look out over the course. I'm glancing around at the bleak October morning kid of wishing I could be at school right now so I could see Noah when suddenly -

"Is that your brother?"

"What? No, why would Noah be here?" Nick asks me like I'm crazy, but we both stare at the two figures approaching our tent and sure enough when they're close enough to figure out who it is we realize Madison and Noah are walking towards us. When the two get within ear shot Nick calls out to his brother "Are you cutting class, Noah?"

"What? No!" Noah immediately turns red and cuts a glance at me. I can't help bu t let a small laugh escape my lips because I'm sure we're both thinking the same thing. The day we pulled the prank on Jules Noah had almost shit himself at the thought of Nick knowing he skipped class. Honestly, I didn't think it was a big deal, but to Nick it obviously was. He stares at his little brother in disbelief as though he thinks Noah is calling him stupid. I mean, obviously Noah's not in class, he's standing right in front of us.

"The girl who was supposed to help me today was sick so I asked if Noah could come with me instead," Madison explains. Everyone stares at her blankly and with a sigh she holds up the camera that's hanging around her neck. "I'm in yearbook and I'm in charge of the cross country page. Talk about death. Ugh, it's so freaking cold out here."

"It is, but it's' supposed to get warmer," I reply. I don't really care why the two of them are here. All I know is Noah is it's a Monday, I'm not in school, and Noah is standing in front of me. Sounds like a perfect start of the week if you ask me. "Why don't you sit down?" I ask Madison, clearing a place on the mats so the four of us don't have to sit on the ground. She glances at the guys sprawled out across the other mats and wrinkles her nose in disgust as though she despises being in such close proximity to them.

Noah immediately takes me up on my offer, claiming the spot next to me and cautiously snuggling into my side, not obvious enough for anyone to question him, but just enough to keep him warm. I smile at his movement and scoot myself a little closer, glad for the body heat while Nick and Madison awkwardly sit on the other side of us. Honestly, I'm not sure if the two of them have ever actually talked before, but today seems like a good day to get to know each other. After all, there's nothing like a cold fall day to bring everyone together.

When Jules gets up to warm up he seems slightly confused at the sight of Noah, but doesn't say anything to us. I notice his eyes grow slightly wider at the sight of Madison and he quickly runs off to warm up, but not before I could read his body language. Jules is nervous about impressing Madison, and honestly, it's so fucking cute!

"He wants to impress her," I whisper to Noah as we watch Jules stretch in front of the tent where Madison would have a perfect view of him. The tent is empty aside from Nick, Noah, Madison and I, and Nick and Madison are having a conversation of their own about who knows what.

"He's gonna have to do more than run well," Noah replies. "You know she's not really interested in that." I carefully place one of my hands over one of Noah's he has laying on the mat and think about what he said. He's totally right. Jules has done countless things to try to impress Madison, all to no avail. I know he's talked about his meets loudly at lunch for the sole purpose of her hearing because oftentimes we have the exact same conversation we had the period before. He's cracked jokes, tried to appear smart, shown off his athleticism, and absolutely nothing has worked.

The only time Jules has ever gotten any kind of response out of Madison was when he stuck up for her in French two weeks ago. I've known Madison was a different type of girl, and I knew Jules felt differently about her than every other girl he's played in the past, but for some reason I didn't see the need to tell him to go about it differently until now, and now everything makes more sense.

"They're about to start," Nick announces, pulling me out of my thoughts. The four of us rise and begin our walk to the course, Nick and I carting water for the runners. Madison takes her camera and disappears to take pictures, leaving Noah alone with Nick and I.

Jules looks as nervous as ever at the start of the line, but after the gun goes off he slips into his running mindset the two of us have so often talked about. That mindset is why running is my escape, and why, even if I don't compete, running became my life when I was at my most vulnerable. In that state of mind nothing else matters but each foot hitting one after the other, the breathing in and out, and the pumping of your arms. Everything else, the problems, the people, the hopes and fears and everything else you may be feeling can be ignored, because at that moment all that matters is the run. Everything else can fall away, and as I watch Jules fall into that state of mind everyone else he's running against become the extra things in life and they too fall away.

When Jules crosses the finish line 5k later he's meters ahead of everyone else. He slowly makes his way down the cute after the finish line so they can officially record his finish and coaches, athletes, and parents alike clap him on the back. He just ran a great race.

By the time he reaches the end where I'm waiting with water he has almost caught his breath and offers me a huge smile. I offer him the bottle and he takes it thankfully.

"You... should have been with me... today, salop,... We could have... dominated that... together." He takes a shot of water and looks at me again. "I just had the best race of my life, I think. I just wish you could have joined me when you started running."

I go to shake my head and explain again why I don't compete, but before I can Coach Henderson is making his way towards us, yelling something incomprehensible. He's waving a stopwatch around and as he gets closer the numbers he's yelling become clear. Jules not only just won, but he shattered the school record by nearly half a minute.

"I Did it!" he yells, jumping at me and forcing me to catch him. "I actually did it!" Jules jumps down and begins running, a new kind of energy filling him. About fifty meters away I see Nick, Noah, and Madison approaching us, and when Jules sees them he takes off running. "I broke the record!" He screams, and they shout back a congrats.

Madison smiles at Jules hesitantly, and that's enough for him. Before I can stop him and explain what I was thinking about earlier he runs and wraps Madison in a hug who immediately stiffens and tries to pull back. Jules doesn't seem to notice though, and talks through her trying to pull away.

"I did it," he says happily. "You were here, you came to watch, and I did it!"

"Stop," she tries to argue, and Jules lets her go but keeps his hands on her shoulders, still smiling. Noah, Nick, and I stare with wide eyes, not knowing how to react to the scene unfolding before us. Madison, who is always quiet and shy, looks uncomfortable, angry even, and Jules is completely oblivious. I cut a glance at Noah and he returns my worried stare with a gulp. This isn't going to end well.

"You're like my good luck charm, Madison," Jules tells her, ignoring her as she tries to interrupt him. "Seriously, you are, and I'm so happy you came today. I just -"

"Julius!" Madison finally screams, shoving his hands off of her shoulders. "I came here today for one reason, and that was to take pictures. Don't act like I'm your girl, because thank God I'm not. Don't you dare think sticking up for me one time in French will get you in my pants like all the other girls you play around with. I didn't need your help that day, and I don't need you, okay? I will not go out with you. Now please, leave me alone!"

With that Madison turns on her heel and stormed off in the direction of the tent muttering something about stupid boys. Noah sighs apologetically and grimaces at me before running after the upset girl, leaving Nick, Jules, and I alone. Jules stares after her, just as dumbfounded as the rest of us, if not more. We all realized Madison didn't really like Jules. Jules, it seems, is the only one who missed that memo.

I feel bad for the guy though. Two weeks ago he was planning their dates, and now he's standing in the middle of a field hitting a low after the biggest high he's had all year. On the bright side, I know my best friend, and I know he has a rebound rate of a few seconds. Even this rejection, the biggest one I've ever known Jules to experience, won't keep him down for long. By tomorrow, less than a week tops, Madison will be at her normal place at lunch and Jules will be cracking jokes and asking her out twice a day every day. It's just how we are.

"I broke the record!" Jules says again, turning back around to Nick and I, looking like the huge smile never left his face. Rejection or no rejection today has been immensely rewarding for Jules, and that's all that really matters.