Something Beautiful.

"Now, since this is the first time either of you have been in my office, I'm willing to let you off with a warning. But under no circumstances will I allow you to be caught kissing in the hallway again, understand? And if you are, there will be consequences."

Mr. Brown, our school principle, pointed a pencile at us. It was so odd for me to be in this office; I had been in here many times, but never because I was getting in trouble. I was usually getting congradulated or he just wanted to talk. I never thought I would be in here to be scolded, let alone to be scolded for kissing.

Okay, so yeah, I kissed Jules. Can you blame me? He is so sweet, and loving, and cute, and everything a girl could want. He does those cheesy pick-up lines that, funnily enough, give me butterflies, and he compliments me like there is no tomorrow. Nearly everything he says is a compliment, either on my looks, or just on me in general. If we've entered a room at the same time, he's been opening the door for me, like a gentlemen.

Best of all? He stood up for me. He told all of those people to leave me alone. He pushed that boy against the wall and threatened him. He was so angry and it was obviously because of what he was saying. It scared me, if you want the truth. Not Jules, but what that boy was saying. About me going over to his house and him showing me rough. Thinking about something like that made me want to vomit.

Jules made it better, though. He said he would beat the shit out of him if he so much as laid a finger on me. I don't doubt he would; he may be tall and skinny, but I don't doubt he can pack a punch. He has endurance, so I bet he'd just side-jump all their punches and never tire. Still, to think he'd do that for me blew my mind.

I couldn't help myself. My feelings for him have been there since the beginning. Ever since his first pick-up line, the first sign he was taking notice in me. They grew, but I wouldn't allow myself to be with him. As you can tell, people don't really like me around here. They hate me, actually. So it wouldn't have surprised me if they set up the whole thing with Jules, just to watch me crash and burn.

I don't think that's the case anymore. For one, he doesn't even know what Mark's party is. Thank God. Two, I feel like I know him. He's far to kind hearted to do something so cruel. I don't think he could do that to anyone, and sure, he's sort of a player. He jumps from girl to girl, but he has never tried so hard with one as he has with me. That has to mean something.

He asked Shane for help, just a week ago. Shane asked Noah and Noah asked me and I just knew. I couldn't deny him anymore, not when my feelings were so intense.

Then he stood up for me today, in more ways than one. He showed the whole school that he liked me, that I was his girl. I couldn't hold myself back. What he did, it was so kind, so amazing that the first thing I could think to do was throw myself at him. He caught me, and when we kissed, nothing compares to it. I've kissed a few boys before, but never one like him. Never one that felt that right. It wasn't fireworks and the whole shebang, but my stomach was tense with butterflies and my heart nearly beat right out of my chest.

When we pulled away, I opened my mouth to tell him he was right, that I was his girl, that I wanted to be his girl, but before I could say anything the freshman English teacher screamed at us to get to the principle's office right then.

We still hadn't talked, as we'd been sitting the office. Jules had this adorable look on his face, though, like he was thinking about something. His cheeks were tinted red, and just before they called us into the principle's office, he turned to say something.

My stomach was tight with the fear that maybe, after kissing me, he didn't want this anymore. He didn't want me. The whole time we sat in Mr. Brown's office and he gave us this long lecture, I was afraid when we left, that'd be it. Maybe he realized what everyone was saying was true; that I was nothing more than a stupid whore.

I don't think I'm a whore. I know it isn't my fault. They're all wrong, but when so many people tell you what you are, you start believing them. I try not to let their words get to me, but they do, and I can't help but think that Jules deserves a lot better than me.

I sound like Noah, don't I?

"Leave," Mr. Brown sighs, rubbing his forehead. I look at him and Jules does the same, though neither of us make a move. "Don't get caught again, I'm serious you two. You're lucky I'm letting you off now."

"Yes sir," Jules says, standing up. He reaches out to shake Mr. Brown's hand and our principle rolls his eyes playfully, smiling.

"Thank you," I say, my voice quiet in the office. Mr. Brown smiles at me and I follow behind Jules, head bowed. The secritary tells us to have a good day, and Jules holds open the door for me. The butterflies in my stomach make me feel like throwing up, but I walk out anyway, wringing my hands together.

Jules walks beside me silently, and I suddenly realize what I'm wearing. Sure, I've been dressing like this all week. This will probably be the worse week of the year for me for as long as I'm in high school. But knowing that I look like a bum, wearing huge sweats and a hoodie and my hair is terrible, only makes it worse. I kissed Jules looking like this. I should be embarrassed.

"Madison," Jules says as we near the French room. I freeze, biting my lip as I refuse to make eye contact with him. His accent is gorgeous and I can feel the heat from his body, he stands so close to me. It makes me want to wrap my arms around him and never let go, but I refrain. I've embarrassed myself for one day, it seems.

"Hey," Jules whispers, his finger coming up to hook around my chin. He tilts my head up and I blink, looking into his brown eyes that are as warm as chocolate. He smiles softly, eyes flicking down to my lips, and I bite them in response. "Why're you being so shy now?"

I laugh, shaking my head. His hand falls away from my chin and he chuckles at me. Before I know what I'm doing, and it seems like I'm being very impuslive today, I wrap my arms around Jules's waist and rest my head on his chest. His arms instantly wrap around me, squeezing me tight, and I let out a heavy sigh. Jules's rests his chin on my head and I smile into his shirt.

"We should talk," he says lowly.

I pull away, nodding. Before he has a chance to speak, and I know he is going to, I quickly look up at him. "But right now we need to get to class," I say swiftly. Jules frowns, a dejected look in his eye. I realize he probably thinks I'm going to avoid it, that I don't want to talk to him, but I so do. I say, "Hey," and put my finger under his chin, tilting his head to me and smiling. "We will talk, but I think first we should go out."

Jules smirks, his fingers reaching out to ghost against my hips, causing me to work hard at containing a shudder. "Are you asking me on a date?"

I laugh, dropping my hand and shaking my head. "Maybe I am. Tonight. Pick me up at six?"

"That sounds like a plan," he grins widely, and before he has a chance to touch me or say anything, I turn and walk straight into French class.

Sure, the girls who started this whole thing are in the room, and they scowl at me. Noah perks up from the back of the class and looks at me curiously, but I just smile sheepishly and head toward Madame Delacour, who smirks at me. I know she has some questions, plus she's cool so she probably wants details.

Jules comes in after me and makes his way towards Shane, fast. When he sits down, he starts whipsering to him, eyes vibrant and a huge-ass grin on his face. It gives me butterflies to know he's gushing about the fact we have a date.

I know right then that I've made the right decision. Even though, in all honesty, I am terrified.
~

"A date?" My dad asks for the tenth time since I told him I was going out this evening. He sits at the kitchen table with his dinner in front of him, his bushy brows furrowed together as he stares into the distance.

I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair. I had taken a shower as soon as I got home and made sure to scrunch it, though I knew by the time I left, it would be nothing more than a frizzy mop on my head. Unfortunately, that I inherited from my father. He keeps his head shaved, however, so he doesn't have to deal with the fro.

"Yes, Dad," I say, giving him an exasperated look. "I am going on a date. With a boy. In, like, a hour. He is picking me up here and I will be home before my curfew and everything will be fine."

"But a date?" He says, giving me a sheepish look as I literally facepalm and groan loudly.

"Dad!"

"Okay, okay," he says, picking up his fork and looking down at his dinner. He makes no move to actually eat it, though. Just stares at it before his lips slowly form a pout that makes me want to collapse against the ground. "Can't believe you're going on a date. Your mom is supposed to be the one dealing with this."

"Yeah, well, mom's three hours away," I say bitterly and my dad looks up at me sympathetically. I roll my eyes to tell him I don't care that my mom up and left us when I was twelve, because I got over that a long time ago. "Seriously, though. I'm going on a date. And Noah should be here any minute."

"Noah," my dad says, spearing a bean and lifting it, though not bringing it to his mouth. "That gay kid?"

My eyes slip closed. I love my dad to death, but I don't think anyone could be more dense. I have no clue where I got my smarts from. "Yes father, the gay kid. My best friend."

"Oh," he says, and then he stuffs the bean in his mouth and I know that I am free. I smile and turn to leave the room, but there's a knock on the door before I can get down the hallway and to my own bathroom.

I know it's Noah, because he texted me and demanded we talk. He heard about the date through Shane, whom I am positive heard it from Jules. So I told him to just come over, that he could help me decide what to wear while we talked. He eagerly agreed and told me he would come over as soon as he finished dinner, so when his brother was driving him over, he sent me a message saying he was on his way. I had decided then was the perfect time to tell my dad of my afternoon plans, and he seemed struck, as you can probably tell. He'll be okay, he's leaving for work in twenty minutes anyway.

I yell to my dad that I got it, though I get no response. He is probably too busy stuffing his face. That's the kind of dad I have, which again makes me wonder why I have such a frail, skinny frame. I swear I didn't get that from my mother.

When I open the door, Noah's cheeks are red from the cold and he smiles at me, shivering. He steps into the house and rubs his hands together, blowing warm arm into them after he takes his gloves off and puts them in his jacket pockets. He wears a tobagen and a huge sweater with fur on the hood, a pair of what looks like slippers on his feet, probably to keep him warm. I give him an up-down and raise a brow, causing my best friend to smile sheepishly and let out a giggle.

"Shane's picking me up in about fourty-five minutes," he says, sticking his hands into his pockets. "He said we were going somewhere outside and it's freezing balls, so I figured I'd dress warm."

"Yeah," I laugh, motioning for him to follow me into the back of the house. As we're walking to my room I look at him seriously and say, "Y'know, saying it's freezing balls makes no sense. A man's testicles are naturally at a lower body temperature than they rest of them, so it'd be more effective to say hot balls or something."

I blink as I hold open the door to my room, watching Noah's look of disbelief. When he finallys laughs and shakes his head, I crack a smile. "You're weird," Noah tells me as he walks into my room, chuckling.

I can't help but smile fondly at him. I'll be honest here, I never suspected that Noah would end up being my best friend. I gave him that stupid tour and that should have been it.

When they told me I would show a new kid around, I knew it was only a matter of time until he got wind of what everyone thought of me, and then he would leave to hang out with people who didn't ruin his evergrowing reputation. But then I saw Noah, and I just sort of knew.

He was exactly like me.

It wasn't just the huge hoodie and beanie and the way he clung onto Nick. It's the same he looked at everyone around him, the way he kept his head down and curled into a ball. The way he covered his face if he blushed or so much as smiled. It was the look on his amber eyes, like he would never be able to trust a soul other than his brother.

I am not stupid, as I'm sure you're well aware of. I am observant, and I can read people easily. Something happened to Noah. Something really bad. Something that affected his whole family and caused them to up and move right at the beginning of Nick's senior year; his most important year of high school.

There's this thing about people. For example, some women are carefree and normal and cool and collected, but then the worst thing imaginable happens to them: They get raped. After that, they aren't the same for a really long time, if ever. They wear big clothes in hopes of hiding their bodies, and they wear sweats and stay at home. They refuse physical contact with anyone and are scared of the whole world in fear that it could happen again.

I'm not saying all women who are raped are like that, but it's a common observence in the ones that are.

I don't think Noah was raped. If that was the case, then he probably wouldn't be in school, and I doubt that Nick would ever let him out of his sight. Plus, he would never be with Shane. What I do think is that something so terrible happened to Noah, that he lost all trust in people. Maybe it was something at his old school, maybe he came out and it spread to everyone and he was beat up. I don't know, but I do know it's a touchy subject and one mention of it could cause Noah to spiral downward, without a doubt.

I would never wish that upon my best friend, so I decide if he ever wants to confine in me what made him the way he is, I'll listen.

I think that, maybe, it was the fact that Noah was the opposite of me that made me want to befriend him so much. Noah didn't want people's attention. He didn't want to talk to other students, he didn't crave the relationships all other teenagers are addicted to. He wanted to disappear into his big brother Nick's shadow and never be seen again. Even in the beginning he was reluctent to let me in. Noah wanted the solutide, needed it.

I hated it.

Oh, yes, I loathed this part of myself. I hated that I was ostracized from everyone and everything included in high school. I want friends, I want boyfriends, and I want girls who can come over and we can sit in my room gossiping about everyone else. I craved for someone to want me. To be surrounded at a lunch table by my peers, to laugh at the perverted jokes boys told and giggle about the cutest ones with my girlfriends. I wanted to be normal.

Then Noah moved into town. I could see that he used to be like that, he used to have friends and hang out and have a social life, but he no longer wanted it. It confused me, reeled me in like I was the fish stuck to the hook of Noah's mysterious auroa.

Then it was bareable. Being hated. Being the 'weird' girl in junior year. Being a 'stupid whore' that liked it 'rough.' Because when Noah allowed me in, he showed me Nick, and Shane, and he showed me Jules, who I think made it all the better.

So no, I never planned on being Noah's best friend. It just sort of happened, and it made me forget in the first place that I wanted to fit in. He made it seem like being stuck on the outside cirlce wasn't as bad as I always thought it was.

"I know nothing about fashion, just so you know," Noah says, bringing me out of my thoughts. He throws himself on my bed and bounces a few times before settling, propping his chin in his hand. I know he's my best friend and all, but Noah is probably the cutest boy I've ever seen. Cute as in adorable, and cute as in attractive. Sure, he had puffy cheeks and a dimple, but there's something about it I knew girls liked. Too bad he didn't like girls.

"I doubt that," I say, walking into my closet. It's a walk-in, but barely. "I mean, you're gay."

"Ha ha ha," Noah yells at me sarcasticly and I smile to myself, placing a hand on my hip as I try to decide what I want to wear. It's a hard decision, considering I do own a lot of clothes. It's the only thing my mother has ever done for me.

"Seriously though," Noah says, suddenly in the door of my closet. I look over at him, a bit startled, and smile at the sight of him looking at all my clothes. He haas a sense of fashion, I know he does. Obviously, in his life in Comfort, he doesn't. In his life in New York, however, I bet he loved dressing nice like Nick and making himself presentable. I bet he took care in it.

I wonder what that Noah was like, and if he'd never gone from him to my Noah, if he would still be my friend.

"I can't decide if I want to wear a skirt, or jeans," I say to try and help the situation. Both of us observe my closet; on the bottom rack is all my shirts, the middle my jeans, and the top my skirts and some more shirts and dresses. Like I said, I definitely own a lot of clothes.

"Jeans," Noah says, nodding his head. He reahces forward and strums through them before coming across a pair of I have never worn before. He arches one of his eyebrows high and pulls them out a little bit so we can better look at them; they're leopard print and the original shade of gold and browns. They're by far the tightest pair of jeans I own, not that they do much for my nonexistent figure. "Damn these are hot."

"Noah," I glare at him, giggling lightly. He just shrugs his shoulders and yanks them from the hanger, shoving them in my arms. I don't put them back, because if he thinks they're hot, then maybe Jules will, too. "A shirt?" I say.

"Well," he says, bending over so he can carefully look through all of my shirts. "You usually wear clothes that in no way, shape, or form match, so I don't know what you would want to wear." When I scoff, he looks over his shoulder at me and deadpins, "It's true, don't deny it." I can't help but smile because he's right. I didn't always wear crazy clothes, but after last year I started too because I wanted to kind of say 'fuck you' to everyone who hated and made fun of me. Plus, it was kind of exhilirating wearing such crazy colors and sticking out more than I needed to. "But you'll be wearing a jacket so you don't even know if he'll be able to see your shirt."

He resurfaces from my shirts holding a plan black one with a huge, red heart right in the middle, an arrow sticking out of it. It's made big so that it hangs over my figure, and I haven't worn it in a long time, but I decide not to argue with him. Next, he bends over to riffle through my shoes and comes up with a pair of neon-red Ugg boots with sequins all over them. He smiles as he hands them to me and nods approvingly before pushing out of my closet.

I turn to watch him through himself on my bed again, taking out his iPhone to read through a text. I can't keep the smile off my face as I say, "See, I told you you were good with fashion."

"Fuck you," Noah says halfheartedly, not looking up from his phone. I laugh to myself and turn around, so my backside is facing him. Then, I start taking off the sweats and t-shirt I'm wearing so I can put on the clothes he picked out. "Jesus Madison!" Noah yelps suddenly, and I turn, my skinny jeans half up my thighs and no shirt on. Noah turns on his stomach and burries his face in my pillow, squeaking. "You can't just change right in front of me!"

"What does it matter?" I laugh, jumping to get the jeans the rest of the way up. As I button them I grab a long-sleeve undershirt to wear and slip it over my head. "You're gay."

"That doesn't mean I want to see your ass!"

"I was wearing panties!" I say loudly, slipping my shirt on. I stare at Noah's back for a few minutes before rolling my eyes. "I'm dressed." He slowly peaks over his shoulder at me, and when he sees that I am in fact dressed, he lets out a sigh and turns back around, content. I glare lightly. "We've slept in the same bed, Noah, I don't see the big deal." He blushes bright red and looks away, causing me to roll my eyes. "Plus I'm, like, barely an A-cup, there's not much to see."

"Oh, too much information," Noah groans, dragging his hands down his face slowly. "You're a girl and girls are gross, no offense."

"None taken," I say sarcastically, sticking my tongue out in response to his innocent look. He chuckles as I turn to face the full-length mirror in my room, making sure I look good. Sure, I still barely have a figure, but this is as nice as it's going to get. My hair is starting to friz and I wish just this once, it wouldn't.

Noah decides then is the best time to say, "This is the most tammed I've seen your hair, except for Halloween night."

I look at him and shake my head. "You know how long that took me to do? Two. Hours. Yeah. That long. My hair just doesn't want to be tammed." He looks confused and I scoff lightly, exasperated. "This whole time you thought I did my hair all frizzy purposefully? Noah, there's nothing else I can do, unless I wanted to get dreads or cut it all off. It doesn't ever want to cooperate."

"That explains a lot," he says, and I laugh loudly. I reach into my closet and grab my favorite pea coat. It hits mid-thigh and is a bright, obnoxious neon green, which kind of clashes with my boots. Good. "You should wear a hat."

"You would say that," I tease and Noah mocks me, smiling afterwads. This is why I think Noah was different before he moved here, before whatever happened to him happened. When it's just us, or he's just with Shane, he's so different. Laid-back and relaxed and cool. Something must have happened that made him not trust people easily, and I was one of the few, very lucky ones to ear his trust.

Although I teased him, I pick up a hat anyway. It's black and slips over my ears, fur all around the insides and it ties to rest against my chest, which makes me feel warm and safe. I smile at him and Noah nods approvingly before there's a loud knock at my door.

My heart starts beating wildly and butterflies assult my stomach and Noah smiles happily and jumps off my bed. I watch him run out of my room and furrow my brow. Why is he answering the door? The only person left who is supposed to be here is Jules, so it's my date.

After grabbing a pair of blue gloves, I make my way out into the living room to see Noah and Shane kissing. Yes, kissing, right in my entry way as if they're alone and this isn't my house. I'll admit something, but only to you. It's really adorable and really freaking hot at the same time.

I clear my throat and they spring apart. Shane smiles at me apologetically, allowing Noah to burrow into his side out of embarrassment. My best friend's cheeks are bright red as he covers them with a hand, glancing at me timidly and I can't help but coo at him, causing Shane to laugh loudly and Noah to blush harder.

"I forgot you were coming," I say to Shane, motioning for him to shut the door. He does and walks further into the living room, glancing around curiously. "Sorry. I thought you were Jules."

"No," Shane smiles. He really is very attractive. Like, insanely so. I would probably be really into him if he wasn't a.) gay and b.) my best friend's boyfriend. Plus, I think I'm into gingers. It's a guilty pleasure.

"I heard you asked Jules out, though," he says, smirking widely. Noah raises a brow at me and I smile sheepishly.

"Yeah," I say, clearing my throat. "I also kissed him first. I must be the man in our relationship." Shane laughs loudly at that, which makes me smile. Him and Jules are as close as best friends can possibly get, so I'm glad he approves of me. Noah, however, narrows his eyes and I give him a weird look.

"We never talked," he says and I sigh, realizing he's right. Sure, he is the one that convinced me to give Jules a chance and has been talking to me all week about my flirting, but I still hadn't explained what happened in school. About me throwing myself into his arms and kissing him like my life depended on it, and then hugging him goodbye as I left school to go get ready for the date I asked him on. He probably wants a big explanation, not just on that but on why everyone is calling me a whore and why I've been so sad lately, and he deserves one for always being there for me, so I sigh.

"Later, I promise," I say, looking at him sincerely. "I'll come over tomorrow or something, but Jules is going to be here any minute and I need you guys to leave." Noah nods understandingly and wraps his arms around me. I smile; this week, he has been a lot more affectionate, and I'm not going to complain. He is my best friend, why wouldn't I want a hug?

When they leave, I watch from my front door. Shane holds Noah's hand and opens the truck door for him, causing Noah to blush bright red. When Noah gets in, Shane leans over to give him another kiss, and I can see from here how flustard Noah is from it all. Shane waves to me and I wave back as he gets in his seat, grinning over at his boyfriend before backing out of my driveway. From an outsider's standpoint, I think that Shane is the best possible thing that could have happened to Noah.

Maybe he'll teach him how to trust again. Maybe he'll show him that he's actually quite beautiful, because I get the strong feeling that Noah doesn't believe he is.

I shut the door and close my eyes, trying to calm my nerves. My dad already left, so it's only me in the silent house. I can hear Jules's car as he pulls up in my driveway, and my heartrate picks up speed when I hear his car door shut. I picture him walking up to my door, and when he knocks, I literally jump.

My eyes spring open as I turn around. I wait a few seconds before turning the door knob with a shakey hand, blinking rapidly as the wind rushes into my warm house.

There Jules is, standing in my doorway, a goofy grin on his face. His cheeks are red and his freckles stand out, but he's never looked more cute than he does now. He towers over me, but I like that. He wears a leather jacket that's been zipped all the way up, a pair of jeans that fit snuggly against his hips, and a black beanie that covers his forhead and ears. I bite my lip as I smile at him, moving outside my door and shutting it behind me, allowing a deep breath of air to escape my lips.

I shouldn't be nervous, this is only Jules.

"You look great," he tells me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading me towards his car. I can feel the blush on my cheeks as I whisper thanks. "You always do, but I really like those pants today," he says, winking at the end.

I get in his passenger seat as he gets in his driver's, and I smile as I realize he never turned his car off, so it's still warm in here. I rub my hands together through my gloves and smile like an idiot as he pulls out of my driveway and makes his way to town. The sun is already beginning to set because it's winter and the days are always shorter, but I swear that the world has never been as bright as it is now. We aren't even talking and this is already the best date I've ever been on.

Jules says out of the blue, "I can't believe we're going on a date. I thought you'd never give me the time of day."

I look down at my lap, frowning lightly. I know he didn't mean it in a bad way, but it makes me feel really guilty. The only reason I ever shot Jules down was because I thought he was exactly like everyone else at our school, and that stupid of me. Jules is so unlike anyone else, and he is so sweet and kind. He has a heart of gold and is so innocent. He could never hurt a fly, and in a way, he reminds me of a puppy. Spazzy but endearing. He gives me butterflies and we should have gone on this date a long time ago, but I'm stubborn and an idiot, which is never two good combinations.

"Sorry," I say softly, looking out his window. I wonder where we're going, but I don't ask. "I was stupid."

"Don't apologize," Jules laughs, pulling into the parking lot of the local park. No one is here and I give him a weird look, but he doesn't say anything. He smiles like a dork at me and says, "We're on a date now and that's all that matters. Oh, and you kissed me earlier. That matters too."

I blush but can't help my smile, chuckling as I look down. "Yeah, about that," I tease, and Jules's mouth drops as I laugh at him, letting him know I was only kidding. His smile is so gorgeous that it almost physically pains me; or maybe those are just my butterflies, either way, Jules is amazing. "Why are we at the park?" I ask curiously, looking around at al the empty equipment. Not only is it to cold to be playing in a park, but it's dark.

Jules looks out the window and smiles innocently, saying excitedly, "This is where our date is!"

My brow furrows as we sit in the warm car, and I hug my torso. "The park?"

"Well, yeah," he says, suddenly getting serious. His right hand reaches out and rests on my thigh and my cheeks automatically burst into flame at the tender touch. I haven't had a boy touch me in so long, and I almost want to cry, but I know Jules is a good person and would never hurt me. "You've been so down all week, I thought we could come here and have some real fun."

I don't say anything, but all I can do smile, because Jules is ten times more amazing than I originally thought.

That's exactly what we do. As it turns out, Jules went to the dinner he works at and bought us both meals. We sat at a picnic table and ate before he grabbed my hand and ran off for the jungle gym. We climbed and I attempted to do monkey bars and he pushed me on the swings and made me do a 'train' down the slide, which I think was an excuse to wrap his arms around me. By the time it was eight, we were both freezing and breathing heavily.

I haven't had so much fun in a year. Literally, a whole year exactly. Maybe even longer, if we're being honest.

He is like a big child, but he makes me feel something other than fear and I'm amazed. He makes me forget what tonight is; that right now, nearly the whole school is at Mark's annual party, getting drunk and going into bedrooms to have unconsensual sex. That a year ago, today, exactly, I was walking up stairs and saw the one thing, and made one decision, that changed my life completely.

He pulls me over to the pinic bench, but instead of sitting on it, he plops against a tree. Without hesitating or thinking, I throw myself down beside him and lean completely against him. He seems surprised, but doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me and hold me close, resting his chin on my head. I close my eyes and allow myself to fall under the spell of puppy love. Of being warm, wrapped in the arms of a boy who seems to really care about me.

A boy who I have no doubt will never use me.

Jules says, suddenly, "You know how I told the whole school you were my girl?" I move from his chest and look up, my eyes wide. His gaze is soft and his brown eyes pull me in, causing my heartbeat to pick up dramatically and my breathing to increase. "What if you really were? I mean, do you want-"

"Before you finish that thought," I say quickly, putting my hand over his mouth. He looks at me confused, eyes wide and a little rejected. I feel bad that he thinks I am denying him, but I'm not going to deny him. I never could, not ever again. Not after today. Not after this date. "I need to tell you why everyone hates me."

"I don't care why everyone hates you," he says quickly, moving my hand. He carress it to his chest and I feel my butterflies flutter their wings in my stomach. "I mean, I do, but why they hate you won't effect the way I feel about you."

He just admited he liked me. Sure, he's hinted at it, and he just asked me to be his girlfriend, but he flat out said he has feelings for me. I have feelings for him, too, strong ones, which I why I have to tell him the truth. It's been a whole year and no one knows the truth and for the first time, I want someone to.

"A year ago," I start, and Jules's eyes sadden as I refuse to listen to him, launching into my story anyway, "I was at Mark's annual party. Y'know, the one everyone is talking about. It was my first time there and everyone was drinking and having a blast, and it was back when I had friends and everyone still liked me. I was only a sophomore but I had potential to be one of the most popular girls in school. I was there and I was having fun and I felt like I belonged, you know? I felt like I was wanted and after everything, I wanted to feel alive. So I was there and I'd had a sip of beer but decided I wanted to stay sober, because I didn't want to do anything stupid.

"I was just looking for a bathroom," I say, staring at Jules's chest. As he listens ot my story, he holds me close, and my palms begin to sweat from the memories. "I just needed to pee, but I walked into a bedroom instead. There were these two people on the bed and I... I just knew. He was on top of her and his hand was in her shirt and her pants had been pulled down. He had her pinned against the bed and when she looked over his shoulder at me, she was crying. I knew what was happening to her."

Jules's mouth falls open as he stares at me, and I look up through my lashes hesitantly. I really hoped he believed me, because no one else did. If he didn't believe me, I don't know what I would do with myself. What I do know, though, is that I wouldn't be able to make it back to school and look everyone in the eye.

"So I called the police," Jules blinks, surprised, but I plow on, unable to stop now that I'd finally begun. "I called them and they came and everyone got busted, but then when they questioned and the guy and girl, he swore she wanted it... And she agreed that she did."

I look back up at Jules to see his sad expression. His forhead was creased and he was frowning deeply, but then his hand started to move up and down my side and I knew he believed me. I let out a deep breath of air and slump against his chest. It takes him off guard but he squeezes me close, resting his chin on the top of my head like he seems to always do.

"But I knew she was being raped, Jules." I call him Jewles because it just feels right, and he doesn't complain. My voice drops to a whisper because this is it, the biggest confession I've ever made to someone. I'm telling Jules my biggest secret on our first date. He'll probably run away, but for the first time since it happened, I wanted him to know. I needed him to know the truth. "I knew because it was Tyler and-and he'd done it to me, too."

Jules's entire body stiffens underneath me. I pull away, eyes downcast, and he doesn't bring me back to his chest. I knew he would either not believe me, or be disgusted with me. How could he not? I was touched unwillingly, and everyone in the whole school hated me.

"He raped you?" Jules's asked, his teeth clamped firmly shut and his hands trembling as he held them in fists.

I sniff, not looking up as I shake my head. "No," I say, my voice surprisingly clear. "He never got that far. But he-he touched me a lot and even when I begged him to stop he wouldn't. I didn't tell anyone and then I went to that party and I saw him with that girl and I knew she didn't want it either. But then they both denied it; she said she wanted it and I was crazy, and then Tyler told everyone I was jealous because he'd had sex with me but then didn't want to date me. He said I called the cops and cried rape all because I was mad he didn't want to be with me, and because so many people got busted at the party, they hated me. They always have and I've been labeled and whore and nothing more and maybe I am a whore, I don't know."

"No," Jules says firmly. His long hands are suddenly framing my face as he tilts my head up. I blink as I stare straight into his eyes, which are soft but determined. He says sternly, "You are not a whore. Tyler is. He is the whore and you did the right thing and no one should hate you. They're all stupid and I swear, if anyone ever lays another finger on you I will break that finger off and shove it so far up their ass they can feel the inside of their stomach."

I grimace at the description but I can't help my smile. This is why I agreed to the date, because I knew he would protect me if I needed to him. Because I'm not afarid of him at all, and that means something huge.

"Vous êtes belle," he whispers, carressing my face with his hands and my eyes flutter shut. Before I know it, Jules is pressing a tender kiss to my lips and then pulling away, planting another kiss the back of my eyelids and then forhead. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

I don't say anything because I don't feel like I need to. Jules has his arms wrapped around me, and I feel safe. I'm not afraid of him, and this all means so much to me. He heard my story and he didn't run away.

Jules kisses me again and this time, I kiss him back.