Something Beautiful.

I sit on the love seat by myself, blankets bunched around me as I stare at the t.v. Jules and Shane are still here. They're on the couch with Nick and talking, completely ignoring what's playing. I on the other hand am not paying the least bit of attention as to what they're saying.

It's only seven-thirty, but already I want to go to bed. I'm exhausted. From school, from these two boys showing up on my doorstep, to the stupid friendship hug Jules pulled everyone into. I'm tired of it all and I just want to escape to a world that none of it exists.

Hah, how pathetic can you get? Dreams are my only escape.

When school ended Nick knew something was wrong but I wouldn't budge. Then I locked myself up in my room and refused to come out. Him nor my mom liked that, and my dad hasn't gotten home yet. Then when apparently my semi-neighbors showed up, Mom forced me to come downstairs.

Well, she didn't force me. I wasn't going to leave my room but unforunately Shane came up himself and apologized. Which, believe me, means a lot more to me than I lead on. It wasn't really him that upset me, though. I should have known they weren't laughing at me, just at the situation. I'm to sensitive to realize shit like that though and honestly I hate that about myself.

Shane was man enough to apologize though and for that he has my uptmost respect. Of course at first I wasn't going to listen. I was just going to shut the door and pretend they never even got up there but Nick was pushy. He pretty much forced me to listen to their explanation but in the end I'm glad I did.

But then again Jules asked if we were friends and it was weird. Someone wanted to be friends with me? But being friends with someone meant exactly that; being friends with them. That involves trust and hanging out and talking and all of those other things that I am terrible at. But Nick will be there too so it's not like I'm completely alone in this or anything.

I think if that happened I'd die.

"Did you ever finish that French paper?" Shane asks loudly out of the blue. I blink and look over in his direction slowly, watching as his eyes advert from me to Jules. I blush and rest my chin in the palm of my hand, biting my lip.

I don't really mind Shane looking at me, and that bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

"Dude I finished it in the first minute," Jules snorts, rolling his eyes. He looks at Shane with a brow raised and says defiantly, "And I will not let you borrow it."

"Asswipe," Shane mumbles, looking away stubbornly as Nick chuckles. His hazel eyes look directly at me and my face instantly becomes red as I look down shyly, hair falling over my face like a curtain hiding me from the world. Or just from Shane. "Did you Noah?"

I shake my head, peaking up through the tips of my fingers to see Jules looking at me curiously, Nick frowning lightly, and Shane smiling fondly. Oddest combination I could think of and it only makes my blush worse.

Although it might also be because I'm lying. I did finish it. I typed everything into Google translate as soon as I got home. But I don't want to tell Shane that so I just lie. It's easier.

"Damn," Shane groans, throwing his head back. He looks sad for a moment before shaking his head and sitting up, smiling. "I've got to go then and finish it up, since my best friend is a total ass who won't let me copy."

"Dude," Jules says as he stands up, throwing out his hands. Shane rolls his eyes and joins him, looking at me and giving me a grin that makes me hide behind my hands again. "It wouldn't be fair. French is my first language, you've got to learn it fairly."

Shane mumbles lowly, "I've let you copy my English papers." Nick howls in laughter and I giggle quietly, though stay hidden so I'm not sure if anyone heard it or not. When I look back up though they're all smiling and Nick's showing them the way out. I stand up slowly and follow to the edge of the room.

"I think I agree with Fries on this one," Nick says, grinning as Shane punches him in the arm and grumbles to himself. Jules fist pumps the air and hugs my brother, who looks a little taken aback but he's always been good with weird people. It's like his super power, I swear. Take everything in strides.

"We'll see you in school tomorrow," Jules says, walking over to me. I realize what he's doing at the last minute and don't have time to run away. He wraps his long, gangly arms around my shoulders and hugs me tightly and briefly, letting go quickly and skipping towards Shane who's holding the door open and looking grumpy. "Oh and don't call me Fries, Nick."

"Whatever," he laughs, shoving at the ginger.

Jules holds a finger up and the display is kind of funny, so I smile, and I don't even cover my face afterwards. I've always felt more at ease at home, though.

"I'm going to think of something bad to call you," he threatens but my brother just rolls his eyes and shuts the door after them, Jules yelling something in French that I don't understand, which just confirms the fact that I'm going to fail that class.

Nick turns to me slowly, raising a brow as I stand there with a smile on my face. I quickly drop it though and look away, walking towards the staircase. Nick follows me but I pretend he doesn't.

"Noah," he says, a warning in his voice but I just run as fast as I can up the stairs. "Bud!" I pick up the speed and trip in the hallway, causing Nick to catch up with me, but as I stumble into my room and slam the door behind me, he throws his arm out quickly and stops it.

Groaning, I stomp into my room like a small child and my big brother closes the door quietly behind us. I throw myself face-first onto my bed, kicking my feet up in the air and listening as Nick laughs at me. The bed dips as he lays down beside me, stretching his body out and resting his arms behind his head. I keep my face hidden from view, still on my stomach as I breathe in deeply the smell of clean sheets.

"We gotta talk bro," Nick says, looking over at me but I can't see him. I just groan into the pillow and Nick sighs dramatically. "Seriously. What's gotten into you today? I figured since they were man enough to come up here and apologize you'd forgive them."

"I did forgive them," I mumble into the pillow, but I know he can hear me.

"You sure didn't act like it." Nick grumbles, probably hoping I wouldn't hear, but I did. Unforunately. He can be such an asshole, but for some insane reason I kind of love him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask a little harshly, lifting my head and narrowing my eyes. Nick doesn't look at me as he scowls up at the ceiling, the muslces in his arms flexing.

"Exactly what I said," he says calmly, probably in hopes that neither of us will get worked up. I hope so too. "You pretty much ignore them and then you almost shut the door-"

"I didn't ignore them and I didn't shut the door!"

"You need to try, okay?" He turns to look at me, eyes narrowed and voice snippy. I instantly bite my tongue as he scolds me once more about things he doesn't understand. Things he will never understand. "They're being nice and you come off as this weird little-"

"I'm weird now?" I ask harshly, sitting up and staring down at him.

Nick gives me a sarcastic look before scoffing. "You know what I meant Noah! Obviously Fries is just trying to be your friend, and Shane too! If you don't give anyone a chance, you're going to be alone for the rest of your life."

"Maybe I want to me alone, Nick. Did you ever think of that? I like how I act and I like how I dress and I like being alone."

"Noah, don't be stupid. Nobody likes being alone their whole life! You're sixteen for Christ's sake, you need friends and-"

"I don't need anybody," I yell loudly, jumping off the bed and throwing my hands out.

Nick stares at me with wide eyes, jaw slack. My eyes narrow but I don't look away from him. I'm sure Mom heard that and she's probably freaking out, but unsure if she should come check on us. My face heats up a lot once Nick doesn't say anything, and suddenly I'm not this loud person who's agruing with their big brother. I'm a scared little boy who's lost.

I look down, shaking my head and my fingers begin to tremble. When I speak, my voice quivers, although my eyes are completely dry. "Nick, you don't know what it's like, okay? I'm a freak. I'll never be anything more than an ugly freak and people are always going to think that. They're going to think you're better than me and I'm nothing more than the screw-up of the family."

I look up at him, desperate for him to understand. Nick's mouth is shut now and his eyes are sad. He gazes at me with a look of pity, but at the same time, it's not. His caring gaze doesn't bother me like it would with anyone else because this is Nick we're talking about. He treats me like no one else treats me and I know he's always going to be there, even when I yell at him and freak out like I am now.

"I can't, okay?" I say softly, shaking my head as I advert my gaze. "Making friends means trusting someone. It means giving them to opportunity to sic a fucking dog on me and screw me up more than I already am."

"Bud, that's insane and you know it is," he says, standing up. He doesn't touch me and for that I'm grateful, but he stands only a foot in front of me. He stares at me until he finally makes eyes contact and then smiles sadly. "We left the city for you, y'know. So you could be more comfortable and safer."

"I know," I groan softly, crossing my arms over my chest and sloutching my shoulders. It feels almost like he's trying to guilt-trip me but I know he isn't. Nick would never do that. "I do feel safer here," I add in a mumble, looking down as my face heats up on its own.

"You don't really act like it," Nick sighs, sitting down on the edge of my bed as I stay standing. He shrugs his shoulders in a hopeless manner before looking at me with desperate eyes. "I mean, you come storming up here and ignore everyone and I'm sure you cried. That doesn't seem like you like it here, bud. It seems to me like you hate it."

"I hate it everywhere," I joke, trying to lighten the atmosphere but one look from Nick and I know he isn't buying it. I huff gently. "Some people were just rude is all," I kick at the ground.

"Who was it?" Nick asks, voice suddenly harsh. "Was it those one guys who were staring at you? I'll kick their ass."

I laugh at this, and Nick breaks out into a tiny smile at the sound. I'm so happy it's not as tense in here anymore. I really don't like tension, if you know what I mean. It doesn't help with my already obvious anxiety.

"Nick you can't kick anyone's ass. Not only would Dad kick yours, but we've been at this school for one day."

Chuckling Nick shrugs his shoulders, smirking lowly. "True, but I can totally take Dad on and who doesn't love a bad boy?" I give him a really? sort of look and he just rolls his eyes. Nick's amber eyes look straight into my own, suddenly, very serious and I gulp as I prepare for what he's about to say. "We've only been here for a day, Noah. You said so yourself. You can't be so quick to judge people. You have to give them a chance."

"I can't," I breathe, staring in his eyes, wanting, needing for him to understand that it isn't as easy as a choice. I can't break the mold I've created that easily, it's already dried. It's going to take a sledgehammer or more to break down these walls.

"You can," he says sternly, standing up. He takes my shoulders in his hands and bends down to be in my line of sight, eyes intense. I gulp again, sure he can see my adam's apple bob. "And you can start with Shane and Fries. Well, Jules, or, I mean like Julius. Whatever. They obviously want to be your friend, I think Fries's...awkward hug confirms that."

I giggle quietly and Nick grins, dropping my shoulders as he stands at his full height. I shake my head and let out a deep sigh, scratching the back of my neck. Making my way to my bed, I lay down, Nick standing at the edge and looking down at me expectantly. Sighing, I realize I'm going to have to say something but I don't know what. The words just seem stuck in my throat.

Stuttering, I manage to get out, "I don't- I can't- I'm not sure- Uh..." I bite my bottom lip before looking up at him shyly, one of my hands reaching up to cover some of my face. "How?"

"You can start," he says, reaching forward and siezing my wrist and pulling my hand away from my face, "by trying not to do this." He smiles at me crookedly and I blush, but am unable to hide my cheeks because of his grip.

"What does that matter? It's a habit that's really hard to break," I say and Nick just shrugs.

"It hides you from the world. You shouldn't want to hide."

"Well, aren't you a smart bastard, hm?" I tease and Nick chuckles, letting my wrist go. I pull it behind my head and twist it through my hair, sighing as I make a conscious effort not to hide my face from view. That will be a harder habit to break than being a hermit crab will be.

"And then you talk to people." Nick says seriously, giving me a look as my eyes instantly become wide and a lump forms in my throat. "Yeah, I know," he chuckles sarcasticly, smirking at my obvious look of discomfort. "Talking. How horrible."

"You're a douche!"

"Seriously. You speak, louder than a whisper. I know you're scared and all, but I'll be there with you, I promise. Try making a conversation with someone."

"But people are scary."

He laughs at me. "Not everyone is! You don't have to talk to everyone, I'm just saying someone. You have to start somewhere. Start with Fries and Shane. They want to be best friends, apparently."

I nod, looking down at my chest as Nick leans against the edge of my bed, crossing his arms. I fidget a little before finally blurting out, "I can't believe you're making me do this!"

Nick gives me a sad look, shaking his head slowly. He gathers his thoughts and as I wait, I bite my lip. I don't know how he'll react to that, but it's kind of the truth. I don't want to make Nick feel bad, but I feel like he's forcing me to change. Then again, I don't. I should want friends, I should want to trust people, but it's hard to after everything that happened to me. People involve trust and as I'm sure I've said many times, me and trust just don't mix. Maybe Nick's the push I need, though. We did move to Maine for me in his senior year.

"Noah, we moved here for you," he says, standing up slowly, face set in a thoughtful frown. "I miss my little brother, and I don't care if you never wear normal clothes again, or sing again, or stop hiding your face, or whatever. I just want you to be you again. I want you to make friends and smile and laugh in public. I don't even care if you stay glued to my side as long as you open up!"
~

The next morning I'm running late, seeing as Nick is actually already awake, showered, and downstairs with Mom. I'm in the shower, massaging my scalp as I shampoo. A thought accures to me, and I bite my lip in nervous anticipation. My tummy tightens and I take a deep breath. The desire to just do it is to great to ignore, my whole body itching and on edge. I've gotten in these moods every now and then ever since last December and they are pretty much impossible to ignore.

My eyes slip closed, my hands pausing in my hair, and it starts off with a soft sort of hum. A smile works its way onto my face, my heart leaping, and a warm feeling bubbles in my gut. Giggling quietly, I open my mouth and sing, making sure it's not loud enough that my family can hear. They don't know about my singing sprees and I don't plan on them finding out. I'll never be able to sing in public again, but I still sing. I need to, it's like a constant, and I only usually sing when no one else is home. This is an exception, though. A rare one.

It's a Mayday Parade song, and by the time I've finished I have washed my body and am getting out. I don't know why, but starting the day with singing makes me so incredably happy that I just know it's going to be a good day. A day ten thousand times better than yesterday.

I leave my hair wet, slipping on a hoodie that's only about one size too big and then a pair of baggy skinny jeans. I slip on a beanie as well, because those never fail, and then sprint downstairs.

Mom and Nick stare at me for a few minutes, causing me to blush, but I refrain from covering my face. I guess I can start being 'normal' again here at home. I'm not sure what will happen at school.

"Where's Dad?" I ask softly, voice still a breath, but they've gotten used to hearing soft words.

"Asleep," Mom says, blinking and finally looking away. Nick continues staring me and I fidget under his gaze. "Are you hungry?"

"No," I say, clearing my throat and giving Nick a weird look. He just smiles and looks back down. "We've got to head to school."

"He's right," Nick says, standing up. He walks over to Mom and hugs her quickly before sprinting off to the front door. With a little wave, I follow quickly behind him, pulling my hoodie closer to my body as we both get in the car. "What's up with you?"

I blush, looking out the window as I shrug. Nick doesn't like that though, so he pesters me and pesters me and I finally get frustrated. I sigh loudly and look at him incredulously, grumbling, "I guess I'm just in a good mood but you might ruin that."

Grinning widely, Nick looks over at me as he enters the school parking lot, people watching us weave slowly through cars. "I love you," he says happily, parking the car and turning to me with a peppy grin.

I blush but smile at him anyway, brow furrowed in confusion. "I love you too?"

He laughs because it sounds like a question and jumps out of the car, me quickly following. I stick to his shadow, because he said I could last night, and lift a hand up to my face. Just because I said I'd try, doesn't make it easy. I'm still pretty frightened with all these people looking over at us and probably thinking of how handsome Nick is and how ugly I am.

When we get inside, there's less people, and for that I'm grateful. It's less people to worry about seeing me 'socalize' with Shane and Jules. I don't want them to suddenly think I'll talk to them, too.

"Noah," a soft voice calls and I look over to see Madison making her way ot us. I blush and wonder if I have to talk to her too. Not that I don't want to or anything, she just seems kind of weird. I know, how hypocritcal of me considering I'm not exactly normal.

She smiles at me and Nick, her hair a little more tammed today but not by much. She's wearing a dark blue skirt that hits just below her knees and a frilly pink shirt, Converse adorning her feet. She's certainly an odd character. Interesting style and totally unexpectedly tender personality. I don't understand her one bit, but then again, I'm sure she has no clue where to begin with me.

"Hey Madison," Nick says politely, smiling at her. He gives me a look and I groan internally; I know he's going to make me talk to her. Shit.

"Hey," I mumble, adverting my gaze. She doesn't seem to mind, smiling away.

"Do you know how to get to your classes still?" She asks, wrapping her arms around herself. I nod curtly and she sighs. "I just figured I'd ask. I-"

"Hey guys," a very distinct French accent says and I instantly curse everything to the deepest depths of Hell. Great. We've got a little group of people Nick's going to make me talk to! Maybe this won't be such a good day.

"Sup," Nick nods, smirking. "Coming to ask if I know my way around?"

"No actually," Shane laughs, standing beside me as Jules stands between Nick and Madison. A few people in passing glance at us and I blush, covering my cheeks quickly. "We came to talk to Noah. He's way more interesting than you."

"Dick," Nick mumbles, smirking as he rolls his eyes. I'm a little dumbfounded; he's barely known these guys for a day and he's calling them names. Surely people can't relax that easily around each other, can they? Is it really that easy to make friends? I used to know but it seems my life began last December and everything before is a blur.

"Hi," Jules suddenly says to Madison, smiling down at her. She looks down blushing like crazy and fidgets, and I kind of like her even more right then. She's shy, and doesn't like contact with the outside world, and is friendless. Now that I think about it, maybe she's a hermit crab too and I should try making friends with her instead of these two boys, considering they seem a little too loud and proud for my taste. "I'm Julius. Shane's the only one who calls me Jewels but you can call me whatever," he flirts shamelessly.

From under my fingers I can see Shane give Jules a weird look, but quickly decide that's unimportant. Nick nudges me but I ignore him, chosing to instead watch as Madison struggles for a response. Jules smirks at her and then she promptly turns, and walks away. Jules seems way more than surprised at her retreating figure, and Nick makes a tsksing noise.

"Rejection hurts, bro."

"Shut the fuck up," Jules grumbles and Shane promptly bursts out into laughter. I blush because he's really cute when he laughs, face all lit-up and pretty smile in full view. I shake my head to rid the thoughts quickly once I realize where they're headed. I can't think of him that way. I just can't.

Nick nudges me again and in slight irritation, I finally say, loudest I've ever spoken to anyone outside of family in nearly a year, "Did you finish your French assignment?"

Jules and Shane both look at me oddly for the fact that I spoke, and I spoke first. I blush fiercly and look dow, but luckily Shane doesn't let me embarrass myself further.

"Uh, yeah. Eventually." He says, smiling as I look up through my lashes.

I force my hands off my face, cheeks bright red, before I mumble, "Jules didn't help you?"

They both just stare at me again before Shane says, "No."

"Did you just call me Julius?" Jules asks, furrowing his brow as I lift a hand and cover my mouth. I'm still too much of a coward. I can't be out in full view for too long. I nod hesitatently and Jules just blinks, nodding. "I don't think anyone under the age of thirty has ever called me by my first name before. Shane's the only one allowed to call me Jules, and everyone else calls me-"

"Fries?" Nick finishes, grinning cheekily. Jules glares at him before nodding, making eye contact with me once more. I blush and advert my gaze.

"That's stupid," I mumble, tugging at the ends of my sleeves so they cover my fingertips. "French fries aren't even from France."

"My point EXACTLY!" Jules screams loudly, causing everyone in the hallway to look at him and laugh at his energy. I flinch as he wraps his arms around my waist and hoists me up, spinning around in a circle before Nick shoves him away and I plop back down to Earth, struggling for breath as I slowly sink back into my brother's shadow. "Finally someone gets me!"

Nick chuckles but says seriously, "Don't pick Noah up like that again." I'm so grateful he's my brother. Seriously.

"Sorry bro!" Jules yells, completely unfazed, and I seriously wonder how I'm friends with these guys. The bell rings, signaling first period, and Jules smiles happily, grabbing Nick's shoulder and yanking him in the opposite direction of my own class. "We're off see you at lunch NoahBear!" He giggles obnoxiously afterwards and leaves me alone with Shane.

I look up at him with wide eyes, unsure if I'm supposed to say something or not. He's not looking at me, though, to busy watching Jules drag my brother down the hall. I blush heavily as he looks back at me and for the first time since we've met our eyes actually meet. I stare at him for a few seconds before blushing and look down, one of my hands finding a place on my forehead.

Nick said I should talk to him, but he also said he'd be here. So I don't have to talk to Shane, do I? I don't know. He's awefully cute and so I do want to talk to him but at the same time my tummy is twisting and I'm scared.

Turns out I don't have to decide. "What do you have first?"

"English," I mumble, because it'd be rude to ignore him. Wouldn't it? Yeah, that's the reason I'm talking to him. Not because he's super nice and cute and did I mention cute?

"Yeah? I'm...down that way. Sort of. Mind if I walk you?" He asks and I instantly blush, looking up at him slowly and unsurely. He's got to be kidding, right? Is he really offering to walk me to class? But I know he's not lying because of the geniune smile on his face, hazel eyes sparkling as he looks down at me with a gaze that makes my stomach flip in an uncomfortable manner. What is up with this guy? I should run away now before he gets too close and things end badly.

Yet I find myself saying yes. And you know what? I think I'm kind of excited about becoming Shane's friend.