No Matter What

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I sighed as I walked to the front door. I had pretty much come to live with my mom and her new husband since they got married. I stayed here more than I stayed at my own apartment. Before they got married I wasn’t around as much, because he wasn’t that bad then. But then they got married. That’s when he became violent. Or, more violent, if you will. I didn’t like Nick. I didn’t like him at all. Neither did my mother. He was abusive, cruel, unloving, just a shitty person in general. That was the biggest reason why I was halfway dreading going into the house. As soon as I opened the door I heard the yelling and screaming from the living room. Actually, my mom’s screams and Nick’s yelling. I ran in, slamming the door shut behind myself as I rushed to the living room, where my mother and Nick were in another fight. I ran up to them, prying Nick’s hands from my mother’s arms as he continued to yell. I pushed him back, standing in front of my mother.

“What the fuck, Nick?!” I yelled at him, and he just glared, and tried to push me out of the way, but I didn’t budge.

“Oh get your fucking dumb ass out of the way, you little brat!” Nick screamed at me, and I shook my head, I wasn’t about to let him hurt my mom, she really was all I had left. He tried to shove me out of the way again. “I said get out of my goddamn way!”

“Mom, go upstairs!” I told her, and she shook her head.

“I’m not leaving you down here with him.” She said, and just as I turned back to Nick he threw a punch that caught the side of my face. “Brian!” I fell to the side slightly, leaning over as I felt my teeth bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, drawing blood. I gritted my teeth, getting mad and frustrated that this was what I put up with every single day of my life. I stood back up, and threw a punch at him, my fist connecting with his jaw and he stood for a second, seemingly shocked at my actions against him.

“What are you going to do now, Nick? You want to throw another punch at me? Go ahead.” I said, and my mom grabbed my arm.

“Brian, stop.” She said, and I shook my head, still watching Nick as he grinned, and looked at me.

“Remember, you started it.” He said, and walked off towards the kitchen. I kept my eyes on him until he rounded the corner and walked out of sight. I turned to my mom, hoping she was okay.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, and she nodded.

“I’m fine, really you don’t need to be here.” She said and I shook my head.

“No matter how many times you tell me that I’m not going to leave you here alone with that fucking lunatic.” I said, and heard drawers in the kitchen being pulled open roughly and slammed back. I knew that sound too well. It was the reason my mother didn’t bring knifes into the house.

“Oh no.” She muttered, and I didn’t bother saying anything before I darted off towards the stairs. I wasn’t going to put up with this today. Today was it, today was my breaking point, today is the end of this. I can’t keep living like this, and neither can my mother. I walked into my old bedroom and went to my desk. I got on my knees, shoving my chair out of the way before reaching up and pulled out the drawer, and pulling the crowbar off of the bottom of it, the Velcro not holding to well because of age. I had gone through these actions too many times before. I took the crowbar and pulled up a couple of floorboards revealing a mahogany box. I took it out and opened the lid, and picked up my father’s old pistol. I had always kept it loaded and ready to fire in case of emergency. This was an emergency. I never really used it as a weapon against Nick, but it was a good way to get him to stop, and take me seriously for a moment. As I got up from the floor, I heard my mother screaming downstairs, and I ran from my room, nearly falling down the steps as I rushed down them. I ran into the living room, where Nick had my mother up against the wall, something was pressed against her throat, I couldn’t tell if it was his hands, or a knife. “Just leave me alone Nicholas!” She screamed, her voice extremely strained and I didn’t know what to do. The chance he had a knife was small, we had most of them hidden too well for an idiot like him to find, but he may have found one, and he may be about to kill the only person I can really call family. With that last thought I brought the gun up with both hands and squeezed my eyes shut tight before pulling the trigger, the sound of the shot rang throughout the house, and I didn’t open my eyes, or lower then gun until I heard my mother. “B-Brian…” I opened my eyes, bringing the gun down as I saw Nick’s body lying on the floor, his chest still, never to rise or fall again as blood pooled around his body. My mom looked up at me, then back at Nick, then back at me before she walked out of the room in a hurry, and I stood there, staring at what I had done. Then I realized he didn’t have a knife. There was nothing in his hands, he was defenseless. But he was… What have I done? I slowly began walking forward, seemingly not being able to control myself as I stopped at his body, and slowly leaned down, and took two fingers, pressing them lightly to his neck and just as I was pulling away his eyes sprang open, and I screamed as he pulled a knife from out of nowhere and lunged at me-

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I sat straight up as I woke up screaming, breathing deeply, and soaked in sweat.

“Fuck!” I looked over at Tripp as he screamed, falling off of his chair, and Matt’s eyes flew open as he looked at both of us, slightly startled.

“What the fuck?” Matt asked, and I tried to steady my breathing. I looked around, for once relieved to be in the prison.

“My god Brian, what’s wrong with you?” Tripp asked as he repositioned himself in the chair beside my bed in the dark.

“I’m going back to fucking sleep.” Matt muttered, and rolled over with his back to me and Tripp. I laid back down, my breathing still out of control along with my heart.

“Brian, are you alright?” Tripp asked, sounding slightly concerned, and I nodded.

“Just a-a bad nightmare.” I muttered, and he nodded slowly, seeming as if to be on alert around me now. I had been having that dream a pretty good bit lately. It was the tale of how I wound up in here, like my mind had that day on repeat, that was the memory part, but somehow my subconscious managed to twist the ending to where Nick came back. That was the nightmare part.

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I wasn’t able to fall back asleep, so I just stayed awake and talked to Tripp quietly until the sun rose, and Madison walked in the door.

“Morning guys.” She said with a smile as she looked over at Tripp and I. Matt was still asleep.

“Morning Madi.” I said, and Tripp stood up.

“About time you got here.” He said, and walked down to the office, barely stepping in and grabbing his coat before he walked back down to the door. “See you tonight.” Tripp waved and walked out.

“Such a friendly guy.” I said and Madison nodded.

“He’s the greatest.” She said sarcastically, and looked over at Matt before walking over to me and kissing me on the cheek. “But you’re friendlier.” She smiled.

“I bet I am.” I pecked her gently on the lips. The sound of the door opening made her stand up straight just before Dr. Walkon came in.

“Good morning Madison.” He said and Madison walked away from me and over to him.

“How’s your wife?” She asked and he sighed.

“Better than she was, I’m sorry I’ve been absent, but she doesn’t like me to leave.” I could barely hear his words.

“It’s okay; the only two patients we’ve really had are Matt and Brian.” She said, and he nodded.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay any longer than just a few hours. Marlene’s heart won’t stay in a normal rhythm. I just came by to grab some paper work and make sure you haven’t had any trouble.” I slowly became disinterested in their conversation as my eyelids began to get heavy. I couldn’t hold off any longer so I had no choice but to let myself slip off into unconsciousness.

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I was woken up by someone tapping my shoulder.

“Brian, wake up, you’re leaving.” I opened my eyes slightly, seeing Madison standing over me.

“What?” I asked groggily and she sighed.

“You’ll be okay on your own now, so you’re going to back to your cell. Matt left a few hours ago.” I became more alert at her words, and sat up.

“How long have I been asleep?” I asked, swinging my legs off of the side of the bed.

“About five hours. It nearly two. You’ve already missed lunch.” She said and I nodded.

“Time to go, Haner.” I looked up as a guard came into the room. I stood up, and he took a pair of cuffs from his pocket.

“Joey.” Madison stated in a warning tone.

“I’m not taking any chances, I don’t care what you say.” Joey said, and I held my hands out and sighed as he locked the cuffs on. I couldn’t tell Madison goodbye, and she couldn’t tell me goodbye, so I just kept my mouth shut as the guard lead me out of the room. He started walking a little faster when we got in the hall, and I struggled to keep up as he pretty much dragged me behind him. But, remembering what happened last time, I just tried to keep up, even though I was still a little hazy from just waking up. Soon we arrived at Matt and I’s cell and the guard uncuffed me and opened the door, actually letting me walk in. He slammed the door back and then walked off. I looked at Matt, and he looked up at me…and there was a strange expression on his face that I had never seen before. It was…it was a smile. A genuine smile. Not an, ‘I’m going to fuck you up the first chance I get’ or an, ‘Yea, keep on and see where that fucking leads you’ type of smile… There wasn’t a trace of the Matt I had come to know, and that scared me almost to the point where I thought about asking if I could be moved into another cell.

“Brian, come here, I need to tell you something.” He said, the smile still on his face, his voice very quiet. I walked over to him.

“What?” I asked and he patted the spot beside him on the bed. “What do you want?” I asked, not about to sit down next to him while he’s in this…mood.

“Sit the fuck down and I’ll tell you. I have to whisper, because if they hear us, we’ll be fucked.” Matt said, and I hesitantly sat down beside him. He leaned into me, and for a second I thought he was about to kiss me, but instead he cupped a hand around my ear.

“I can only say this once, because I don’t like being this close to you, got it?” He whispered and I nodded. “Okay, now, Jimmy’s got discharged from the hospital early, and he, Zacky and I are sick of being in this place, so we’re breaking out.”

“What?! You can’t do that!” I suddenly yelled, not believing what he just said. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, it was doomed for failure. “Dude! They’ll -” Before I could continue he pushed me down, getting on top of me and pressing his hand tightly against my mouth. I could feel my ribs aching slightly. They were a lot better and healing quickly, but Matt sitting on top of me wasn’t helping.

“Shh! You fucking moron, are you trying to get us put in solitary confinement?!” He whispered frantically. I shook my head, and he sighed, letting his voice drop very low again. “Zacky’s talked to a few guys that have already helped him secretly file down the concrete around a grate through a couple lunches, so it’s loose. Tomorrow at lunch they’re going to start a fight, and when they do, they’re gonna move a table over the sewer grate, and we’re going to go over, and drop down in it. Brian, Zacky and I are going because the other guys are too scared because the police force has begun putting electric traps in the sewers under here, therefore they think it can’t be done. But it can. We’re getting out, and since you’re such a wimp and continue to purposely get beat up, you’re coming with us. No arguing, no more screaming, no complaints, you’re coming with us, bottom line. Okay?” He asked and it was all I could manage but to nod my head. He took his hand away from my mouth and got off of me, sitting back on the edge.

“So we’re getting out?” I asked and he nodded, a smile returning to his face.

“Our stay in this hell hole is up.”