Don't Go!

I was in recording for another two months and then we did a four day tour to test our new songs they were received really well. I went home for a week before going to America to tour properly. I arrived home and Robyn wasn't in Oskar was barking and running around like a loon as usual, he was jumping up at me. I laughed and then fed him as it was his usual time, I was worried why Robyn hadn't come back already, she was usually home by now. I collapsed on bed and fell asleep instantly, Oscar jumped up with me. I was led over the covers. I slept for four hours until Robyn came in. Oscar started barking as the door latch clicked into position. Robyn sighed and must have collapsed on the sofa.
"Oskar," she giggled I loved her giggle "Oskar stop, why you so excited?" Her giggle got higher and higher. "Oh I know why, Mr. Colourful is back. Oh scene queen?" My ears pricked up at her nickname for me.
"I'm on the bed." I yawned
"Aw babe are you jet lagged?"
"Oh god yes."
"Good cause I can't give you sex yet I've had a rough day." She walked in undressed and jumped on the bed with me in her underwear. I snuggled into her.
"What happened?"
"I don't wanna talk about it." She turned away, usually she snuggled back that was odd.

When I woke up I turned over and Robyn wasn't there.
"Where is she?" I asked myself. Oskar wasn't about either. Maybe she'd taken him for a walk. I stretched making a noise and sat up. There was a note on the counter her glasses on top of them. I got up in just my boxers and sauntered to the work top, I moved her glasses and picked up the note.

Oliver,
I've taken Oskar for a walk to your mums and then round to Tom's. be back around two ish, you know what I'm like.

Love you
Robyn

I decided to get dressed and go out and get her flowers. I left her a message just in case, now I have to make sure I'm only out for two hours. I rang my mum to ask where the nearest florist was. I then headed up there.
I entered to florists and the blonde woman behind the counter gave me a look of bewilderment as if I was some place I shouldn't be.
"Hi, can I help you?" She smiled
"Yes I'd like to get some roses for my girlfriend."
"Okay how many would you like?"
"Can you do 30 in the next hour?"
"Yeah sure can sweet. That'll be £50."
"Yeah that's fine, I'll be back in an hour."
"Okay, they will be done then."

I walked around town and Tom and Robyn were sat outside Starbucks and she was holding her head. She looked upset and it pulled at me that she was upset and couldn't talk to me about it, Tom picked up what they were looking at and it was the magazine that we let on the bus, I cannot remember the name. I could see the magazine from where I sat watching them. Robyn picked up Oskar and watched Tom too. The photograph was of me and the guys and sat on top of me was SJ. Oh shit she's over thinking it, and she must have had that magazine for at least three months. That's why she was distant. I headed for Costa to think about what I saw. What was in her head, doesn't she think that I slept with SJ? Does she think I don't care about her? Has what Jonah said actually happening have I disappointed her and brought her down enough to make her as low as possible because I haven't been there? I think I have and something tells me I can't just sit here and wait to see what happens but maybe she'll get over it and think clearly and realise that she truly is the only one for me.
I was going to America in three days how am I supposed to make it up to her by then. I decided to ring Jonah and talk to him.

After our phone call I walked to the florist again and picked up Robyn's roses, they had a blue ribbon laced around the wrapping. I thanked the woman behind the counter and walked home. I unlocked the door and went in search for the vase she loved, I added water to the vase and plant food and then opened the flours being careful not to cut myself on the thorns. I placed the vase on the coffee table glanced at the time and then decided to make me and my girl tea as she was due home any minuet. As I was poring the kettle into the cups I could hear her voice,
"Oskar stop! Oskar! You'll scratch the door get down. I know you can smell Oli but don't ruin the door." He barked at her and she laughed opening the door for him as I sat down with the cups on the coffee table and sighed.

Oskar ran to me his lead dragging behind him he jumped up and started licking me his small tail wagging like a humming bird. When he settled down I looked to Robyn with a smile on my face, "Do I get a kiss off of you beautiful?" I knew that my smile made her smile and she did. Big wide and white.
"Of course however you have to wash his slob off of you." She giggled pointing at Oskar.
"Why should I? When I can wipe it on you!" I ran at her grabbed her and rubbed my face where Oskar had just licked on her face she was hysterically laughing while Oskar was barking. When we stood straight from our mini fight. I looked her dead in the eyes while she cupped my face with her right hand, lightly massaging under my hair behind my ear.
"You have no idea how much I missed you Robyn."
"I missed you too baby." Sadness took over her eyes
"I love you Robyn, more than anything in this world."
She snuggled up to me burying her face in my tank top, I hugged her tightly, I knew I didn't have to tell her I loved her all the time, the way I showed it was enough for her. Or was it, after that picture of me and SJ was she strong enough? Nothing had happened on the bus but she was very prone to self confidence issue in herself.
I lifted her face to mine and kissed her holding her face with both of my hands.
"I'm going to bed I'm tired and I have work in the morning. Oh pretty. Roses thank you." She kissed my cheek and walked into the bedroom.

The next morning I didn't even see here leave, I must have slept through her getting ready. I decided to go about sorting out my bag for America. I had some other little things to do. I started packing for America about half hour before Robyn was due home. I put the new Architects CD on. I started to sing to it. I didn't hear the door go but did hear Oskar bark and run out the room.
"Oliver where are you?" Robyn called there was something in her voice that I didn't like.
"In the bedroom packing babe!" I was happily putting stuff in the suitcase.
She stepped into the room and I turned around and kissed her. She hardly kissed back and put her hand on my jaw and neck. "Baby you seem instant that's not good, what do you have in the other Han-" I stopped it was the magazine I'd seen her and Tom reading the other day. I took it off her. She started crying, "shit babe, it isn't what you think. I can totally and honestly tell you what happened."
"We need to talk." She sat at the end of the bed. My chest hurt, I felt sick and my tears were burning the corners of my eyes threatening to slip. I sat on the bed too throwing the magazine in the bin. I put my head in my hands and shook it. Why was she doing this? I loved her only her, SJ meant nothing to me! Again it was one stupid night one fucking magazine. I was now crying I knew what was about to happen. She was leaving.
"I love you" she whispered, we hadn't said it that convincingly for a while. She began crying properly.
"Then why are you doing this? Is it because I was distant? Did I do something wrong? Me and SJ? We're friends that's it. If the magazine said otherwise its a lie." I was desperately trying to change her mind. I didn't want her to leave just the thought of it made me feel hollow, like I wouldn't be able to go on. "I love you! I'm sorry I was distant dont break this off. I can't do this without you Robyn! I want you forever, no-one will ever live up to you." I was now on my knees, holding onto her hands, crying into her knees, begging her to stay everything hurt. My head, my chest, my knees, my throat was tight.
"I love you too, but I'm not doing this because of you. I'm doing it because of me." I looked up at her confused.
"I don't understand" I shook my head
"My heart knows you would never hurt me. The way I had been allowed to sit and think and wait has ruined me. I'm fragile, sensitive and insecure, I can't pin that on you at such an important time in your career. Oliver Scott Sykes, no one will ever replace you in my heart, but I need time to regain the self respect, confidence and downright Robyn-ness about me. I love you so much, but I need to leave, I'm so sorry Oli." She kissed my head grabbed a bag and ran out of the flat leaving me by the bed, crying, pulling my hair and suffocating on my heart ache. Everything was gone.

The guys ran in Matt Kean calling for me. The all rushed in to where Oskar lead them he started whining and licking me. The all picked me up and put me on the sofa.
"Dude what happened Robyn was in a mess!" Matt N said making me look at him.
"She broke up with me!" I cried
"Shit" they all uttered
"Why?" Lee asked
"The magazine that we let on the bus in Europe, they published a photo of me and SJ hugging and it sent Robyn in a spiral of depression. I don't think me being too busy to call her or Skype her didn't help. I didn't make enough of an effort it's my fault."
"Dude no It can't just be your fault come on have a beer."Jonah said handing me one.
"It's just like you said Jonah. She's fragile and insecure that's why she left."
"See not all your fault. Where has she gone?" Jonah asked
"Tom's probably that's the place she'd go. I'm just hurt its over and the day before America too."