Creating love with a box of matches

"Ila Melene Pratt!" My mother's shrill voice called up the stairs, cutting through my favourite song.

With a sigh, I pulled the earphones from my ears, and trudged downstairs, pasting a fake smile on my face.

"Yes, mama?" I answered, as soon as I'd turned the corner.

My mother looked up at me, with a scowl. A scowl that said 'what a disappointment'. I ignored that look; I was used to it.

"Have you done your homework?" Her voice was bittersweet; none of the warmth a mother's voice should contain.

"No, mama, I'm doing it now. I've only got three assignments left."

And then she glared. "And why isn't it finished? You should be finished already! How do you expect to get into Harvard or Yale with a work ethic like this, huh?!" Her voice rose with every word, until she was positively screaming at me.

I flinched back, smothering the urge to cower in a corner. My mother has never hit me. But she's come pretty damn close. And, just because she isn't violent, doesn't mean she isn't scary as all hell.

"You get upstairs and finish your work. I don't want to see or hear you until you're finished. Do you hear me, Ila?!"

"But, mama," I started, "I was hoping to go and spend some time with Dama. You see, there's this concert -"

"A concert?! Well, by all means, just throw your life away and go be a groupie for a stupid band!" She shrieked.

Ouch.

"I don't want to hear another word from you; now go upstairs!"

I ran up the stairs, wanting to scream and yell and punch a wall. But I contained it. I settled for slamming my door, throwing a hoodie on over my Atreyu shirt, pocketing my packet of smokes, and climbing out the window.

I walked to my safe haven (a cute little park my mother used to take me to when she actually cared), and I sat on the swing, pushing myself back and forth, slowly. I let my mind wander as I watched he moonlight reflect off my zipper and illuminate my sun kissed skin.

'Ila Melene Pratt,' I thought to myself, lighting a smoke, 'Little Miss Perfect, that's me. The girl that never does anything wrong'.

It isn't fair, was the only conclusion I got out of that.

I isn't fair!