Rope

For a moment I just stared at him, the boy who had saved my life. I could feel butterflies in my stomach; butterflies and a million angry thoughts and questions flew through my mind, but I silenced them. I tried to silence the anger that had been brewing since I’d first woken up, the anger from not dying mixed with something else entirely, something softer and pained which right now was filling my eyes with water. I just stared and suddenly I didn’t know what to feel anymore.

I watched as he and the girl next to him stood up, her, clinging to his jacket and resting her head against his chest. She was so small and thin, her very pale violet hair was thick and ruffled down to her waist. She was beautiful, like a doll. And just like a doll, I remembered, were her eyes from that moment before, doe-like but empty, chilling me to the core and forcing me to avert my gaze. I wondered who she was. Who was she was to him? A friend? A lover? A sibling? Why did I even care about something so trivial?

She turned to face me and smiled an empty smile from behind his jacket. Her blank eyes were piercing, frightening. And then she was gone. I blinked several times, but she had just vanished, had I been dreaming?

“Hey.” My eyes looked up and suddenly he was right in front of me.

“Whoa,” I stepped back a little, in shock, “how did you…how did she-”

“Listen,” he said. I just stared at his face, orange from the glow of the setting sun, suddenly realising how beautiful he was.

“You probably have a lot of questions, and I can answer them for you,” he quickly glanced at the sky, it was almost dark now, “but not here, not now.”

“When then?” I was cautious but excited, I wanted to know everything about him, like how he got to me on that night and how did he do all those amazing things, but my excitement soon fizzled out as I realised that all those things had stopped me from leaving, permanently.

“I can take you someplace else, someplace safe…” he trailed off his eyes flickering to the darkening sky again. It was getting chilly out here, the sky full of dark and threatening clouds.

“Okay, so let me get this straight-” I asked hearing a sharp edge in my voice.

“We can talk later, and for as long as you want,” he interrupted his voice full of anxiety, “just not here.”

I was conflicted, angry over the fact that he had saved me and yet intrigued by how he’d done it. I was annoyed at the appearance of being in his debt and yet he was beautiful, how could I not want to do any favours for him? I wanted to get to know him, but something was holding me back.

“Do you want to come with me or not?” he asked, something dark and vicious entering his voice. I could see it in his eyes too, fear and panic and something darker. For a second I was a little scared and stepped back.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” I could see he wasn’t really listening. He had that spaced out look as if he was listening out only for the key words. Yes or no. It was then I noticed that he was shivering and jumping up and down as if he had to pee or something. And suddenly all that built up anger and frustration I had for him just came out as laughter.

I could see the pain in his eyes and is mouth formed a thin straight line, but I just couldn’t stop myself and ended up doubled over in agony, struggling to breathe.

“I have to go,” he hissed through clenched teeth. From the corner of my eyes and through tears of laughter I saw him jog under the bridge and out of sight.

“Yeah, just go,” I muttered, lowering myself onto my haunches all that laughter just disappearing. I picked at the dirt, now fully aware of the ache in my side. Nothing was funny anymore.

It was completely dark now, there were no streetlights here. That was a good thing I convinced myself. It meant that nobody would be able to see the great rivers of water which were now flowing down my face, flowing with no break.