Rope

Meeting with Katie and the others had been exactly what I had predicted. I had recounted the accident and what had happened (obviously missing out him) and they had marvelled at my miraculous recovery and my scars and then they had carried on talking about mundane things that normal satisfied people talk about.

I decided to leave early because it just became too painful to sit and listen and I had nothing else really to say to any of them. I also didn’t feel like splitting from the group and walking with Katie. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts.

And funnily enough, all of my thoughts were about him. The fact that I still didn’t know his name, why was he so anxious about talking where we were, and why oh why did I refuse to follow him.

My wanderings took me around the block, twice, a part of me hoping that I would bump into him again, a part of me afraid of what I’d say if I did, but the opportunity never came; the streets were eerily quiet.

Once the cold got to me, I decided to head back home. Just as I pushed the door open, I caught Sis walking past carrying her dinner before heading upstairs; she didn’t even acknowledge me. Ever since the accident, it’s been like I don’t exist to her. Once I came out of hospital I tried to talk to her but she just ignored me. The only reason I know she found the note was because I saw it in her drawer when I was putting her laundry away. We used to be very close, but not anymore.

I closed the door and headed to the kitchen to see if there was anything to eat. I opened the fridge door but it was mostly empty; some just off milk, vegetables, old leftovers and some mouldy cheese. I closed it, feeling the hunger in my stomach grow. Recently we’d been eating take-out or kind donations from the neighbours. Looking at the empty casserole dish on the side my guess was that Sis had just finished the last of the cottage pie from our neighbour two doors down.

Most of the cupboards were empty except for some condiments, cup-a-soups and some expired rice so I just decided to go back to bed and sleep the hunger away.

When I reached my room I let myself fall onto the bottom bed, where Sis used to sleep before she got her own bed. Sinking into the soft mattress, I suddenly realised just how exhausted I was. My entire body suddenly felt relaxed but immobile at the same time. Sleeping down here was starting to look more appealing than attempting to climb the ladder to the loft bed. And so I started to dream.

I dreamed mostly of him, of his face with those stormy brown eyes. And dreaming of a memory my mind went back to the time when we were plummeting from the sky, the way he’d just appeared startling me and that sad smile he gave me; the feeling of his fingers woven between mine; the gentle sound of laughter that came from him; and the way that for the smallest of moments, falling with him had made me feel more complete than I’d ever been.

And so as I lay there, the biggest question out of all of them rose to the forefront of my thoughts. Why. Why did he save me? Who am I to him? What am I to him? How did he even know that I was going to die and not just pull the cord for the parachute? My mind wrestled with these thoughts for what seemed to be a very long time, the image of his sad face always in my mind’s eye.

I was woken up by the sound of banging on the wall from next door. Opening my eyes, I heard more banging and laughter followed by a loud shushing sound. I looked at the clock on my desk; it was a couple minutes past 4am. I had left my curtains open and could see that it was still dark outside.

Getting up was slow and painful, my legs sore from all that walking before. Once I’d stretched I felt more awake and went to the wall to listen more closely. I could hear hushed voices coming from Sis’ room. Did she have friends round?

A part of me wanted to go round and be nosey, but I also knew that she needed her space; what business did I have in knowing everything she got up to with her friends? I wouldn’t like it if she nosied in on what my friends and I did. So I lay back down on the bed and closed my eyes.

Suddenly, there was more thumping against the wall and I could hear voices, voices I recognised. Listening more closely, I realised that those were my friend’s voices, friends I hadn’t seen in a long time. An anger that I didn’t even know about had me leaping off the bed and storming out of my room towards Sis’.

I flung the door open and stood in the doorway shocked at what I saw. Sis was nearly naked straddling my ex-boyfriend Clint, her best friend Meg lying on the ground in her underwear in between some guy I didn’t know and my second closest friend Hal.