Kiss Me Again

Hi, I'm Alex Gaskarth, and I'm officially hung up on my love for my friend, Tay Jardine. She doesn't know, and I couldn't find the balls to tell her that I like her. Sure, I've been this guy who, when on tour, could get a lot of girls, one night stands and whatnot, but I changed, big time. I finally got over heartbreak and that was the only thing keeping me on doing my old ways.

Today is the last night of our Tour with We Are The In Crowd and The Maine, and here I am overthinking things and more anxious than ever. I promised myself that I'd be telling her tonight. I hope I don't screw up this time.

Of course, my morning had to start with Jack screaming in the bus, like the lebanese man that he is. It does get annoying sometimes, but through the course of time I've been friends with him, I grew into it. I slid out of my bunk, hair tousled, and spoke to the whole bus, "Good morning!" I earned a few groans and some mornings back

Everyone seemed to be busy with their own little worlds; some on the phone or laptop, some looking hangover like shit. I guess, the latter, I'm surely not. I couldn't drink even a sip of alcohol last night. I was thinking a lot. I've been planning how I'd fess up, in my head. I was that kind of guy who wants everything to be perfect. I haven't found the right words, though.

I went on to brush my teeth and grab a sandwich that someone prepared for everyone. I plopped down on the couch next to Rian. He's the only I've been asking advice from. It was different with him, than it was with Jack and Zack. Jack, it was hard to tell if he would be serious when you tell him everything. Zack, that guy is weird. He cares but he's just so quiet and you wouldn't know if he's even listening. He keeps to himself most of the time, and I let him be that way.

"Tonight's the night, man." I said, rubbing my eye with my free hand, and he replied, "Well, have you decided how you'd do it, exactly?"

I simply shrugged and again he spoke, "Figure it out, Alex, or you'll be a nervous wreck later. Are you expecting something of her? I mean, I hope you don't get your hopes up too high."

"I'm kind of expecting and not expecting at the same time. Like 50/50. I don't know. I'm starting to think that I should not do it at all."

"It's all on you. I have no say about what you should do, but I'm gonna tell you that you should not waste this chance, Alex. I know you've been aching to tell her that you like her, ever since the first time we toured with them. It's that now or never thing. It's either you get it out or you wait for the regret that it might bring."

And Rian was right. It was that "now or never thing". Right that moment, it hit me. I thought, screw what will happen after. I'll tell her straight up, tonight. Yes, there's a big possibility of her not having the same feelings I have for her, and it will be hard to get over it, but I like Tay so much, and I can't keep it in anymore. Besides, she's worth taking the risk for.

--

I stepped into the big backstage area, and the party was on full swing. All of the bands and their crews were here. I quickly searched the room for Tay. I glanced to my left and found John from The Maine initiating a beer pong match, but she was not there. I looked to my right, and found some people dancing. I figured she couldn't be there. Tay wasn't much of a dance person. She'd rather waste herself on alcohol, alone in a quiet place not making any kind of ruckus. I decided to get myself a bottle of beer, before I do what I needed to.

To my luck, Tay was there, sitting next to the cooler where they kept all the beer. Seeing her, butterflies fluttered in my stomach. She smiled at me, and I gave her one back. "Let's get wasted tonight, Alex." She laughed, taking a short sip from her bottle.

I mimicked her actions, as I sat down next to her on the beaten up couch. "Maybe we could make another song, like the last time?" I whispered to her ear.

"Oh, my god! That was so embarrassing. We didn't even make a song. We just mixed up lyrics from Lights Out and Dear Maria," she laughed, again, and I soon joined her.

We continued talking about things that happened on this tour. It felt like we were the only ones in the room.

When we somehow ran out of things to talk about, some comfortable silence ensued. We just sat there, attached to the hip. I looked around and figured the party was not dying down anytime soon, as everything was the same when I walked in. I decided this was the right time.

"Taylor, let's go out in the quiet. I need to tell you something." I stood up, but she tugged on my hand.

"I'm lazy. Let's stay here. Come on." She yanked my hand more. She gave me no choice but to carry her out. I did, bridal style.

--

The cold wind brushed on us, as we sat against the brick wall of the building we were just in. I was nervous.

"Alex, let's go back inside!" She complained, and I turned to her, "No, this will be quick. I'll just have to tell you..."

"Tell me what? That you like me?" She laughed. I didn't know what to do. Did she really know it and was I that obvious?

She inched her body closer to me and stood on both of her knees. My eyes in level with hers. I looked straight in her eyes. still not finding any words to say. Damn it, Alex, just tell her what you need to. Get it over with and tell her.

"What? What did you want to tell me?" She drunkenly chuckled. "If you're not telling me then..." She patted her finger on her chin, like she was thinking.

I shut my eyes tight, and thought, tell her now. Now! "Tay, uh, I," I didn't get to finish. I felt her lips on mine, and it more than surprised me. My insides were going haywire. My mind was starting not to think straight, and I almost deepened it. I don't know how to describe what I was feeling. I have been waiting to do this for a long time.

But, I reminded myself, maybe this was nothing to her. She was drunk, and this was Tay. She's the little girl who looked innocent but liked to get drunk.

She pulled away, after what seemed like forever. She was still lingering on my lips. Then, she plopped down next to me on the bare concrete and rested her head on the wall.

"What did you want to tell me, Alex?" She asked, sounding a bit sober that how she was before. I turned to her, still in shock of what she did. She flashed her infamous smile.

That kiss gave me the kick I needed. I was confident now. "Taylor Jardine, I like-like you. There I said it!"

"What took you so long? Damn it, Alex, I like-like you too. From the very first time we talked," she said. It seemed like she was getting sober by the minute.

"Tay, how many bottles have you had?" I asked.

She laughed, "I only had two, Alex. I'm not too far down there, you know."

Silence ensued and my brain was racked with questions. I decided to just ask out loud, than suffer in curiosity. "Was it obvious that I like you? Oh and why didn't you tell me that you liked me? Why didn't you come to me and tell me?"

"Oh, please, stop with the questions. The feeling has been mutual for so long," she chuckled and paused, getting closer to me. I leaned down a bit, looking at her beautiful brown eyes, and she spoke again, "What are you waiting for? Won't you kiss me again, under this beautiful moonlight?"