Screaming in Silence

"I have something I need to tell you," Zacky admitted quietly once we were on our own. He got up from his seat and perched on the side of my hospital bed. "I know I should have told you this a long time ago-" he started, but was cut off by someone storming into my room.

"Beth you promised us you wouldn't do this... again..." an angry India stormed in ready to yell at me for trying to kill myself, but once she saw what a state I was in, she realised that wasn't the case. "What happened?" she gasped, frozen to her spot.

"I-" I paused, my throat still sore but I was determined to keep talking for good. "I didn't... quite... tell you... everything," I spluttered.

"Oh my god. Beth, you're talking?" she squealed with delight and almost forgot about my current hospitalised situation and bounded towards me with her arms wide open. She probably would have landed on me if Zacky hadn't intercepted her.

"Whoa, watch it bouncy. Careful with her," he laughed slightly at India's childishness.

"Sorry, I just, I can't believe that you're talking again. I haven't heard you speak since... well," she glanced at Zacky, getting across her awkward point. "But, I'm going to have to curb my enthusiasm and ask you again. What happened?" I sometimes believed that India was slightly bipolar the way she'd switch from one emotion to the other in a matter of milliseconds. I took a deep breath and tried to speak again, promising myself that I'd be honest this time.

"When we did the... truth circle... I didn't tell... everything," I paused. My throat felt as if it were on fire. "My mother's boyfriend... he's been hitting... me for a while. Last night... it got bad. Zacky and his friends... they saved me," I said, finally relieved that my secret was out.

"Oh my baby!" she cried, wrapping her arms around me and making me wince in pain, she didn't notice but Zacky did and attempted to get her off of me, but I just waved him away. "Why didn't you tell any of us? We could have done something, or at least taken you into our homes," she cried, tears falling down her make-up free cheeks.

"I didn't want... to-"

"Don't you dare say you didn't want to burden us again," she warned me. "Something this big comes above anything else. Is there anything else you haven't been telling us?" I knew that on some level everyone knew about me beating up Mr Foster, but I thought I owed it to India to tell her the whole truth for once.

"Mr Foster," I spluttered.

"Mr Foster?" she echoed.

"He tried... to rape me... so I defended myself... beat him up," I croaked and felt each of my hands be squeezed by both India and Zacky, in an attempt to comfort me and encourage me.

"There were rumours going around that you did it... but I just assumed that that's all they were. I can't believe you've been through half of what you have without saying a single word. That just shows how strong, but how stupid you are too," I just nodded as she spoke.

"Speaking of the truth circle..." Zacky started, staring down at our entwined hands. "I was going to tell you something the other day when you guys all expected me to but I didn't have the nerve. Then I started to tell you again just now, before you came in, India,"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you were talking. I'll leave," she offered, but Zacky placed a hand on her arm.

"No, if it's alright with Beth I'd like you to stay. She'll need a friend," I nodded. "Beth, when dad died, Serena offered to take care of us and treat us like her own, but she's not our mother," I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The person I'd lived with for all these years, the woman who'd treated me like her daughter up until recently, the woman who raised me, albeit badly, wasn't my mother? "Our mum died in a car accident a few days after you were born and for the first year and a half, dad raised us by himself. But then he met Serena," he paused. "Back then she was lovely, she was absolutely wonderful to both me and you and things were just about getting serious with Dad and Serena when dad was taken from us as well,"

"Why didn't... anyone tell me?" I gasped, my mouth hanging wide open with shock.

"Because it was already decided way before I understood, that you'd never know. I suppose Serena was worried that you wouldn't love her like a mother if you knew that you weren't really hers. But after seeing the way she'd turned out... how negligent she'd been and what a druggie she'd become, I knew that I had to tell you. At least now, maybe, you could come back to Huntington Beach and live with me," he offered.

I needed a moment to digest everything. I didn't know how to react, how to feel. Serena was the only mother I'd ever known but lately, she'd been acting less and less like a mother and more like I was just an inconvenient piece of trash. I knew deep down that it was Tony's doing, he was the one who had turned her against me but that wasn't the point. A mother never gives up on her daughter. All these years she'd told me that her drinking and her drugs were just her way of grieving for Zacky's disappearance but really, she didn't care about him or me. I'd made up my mind.

"Good," I said clearly and boldly. "Good," I said again. India seemed to be frozen with shock.

"Is that a yes?"

"Damn straight it's a yes. She's never once acted like a good, loving mother, especially since you left. She hasn't come to visit me at all the last time I was in hospital and the time before that she only came to scream at me. She doesn't care about me and there's no way I'm putting up with any of her abusive, perverted boyfriends again. I want to live with you, where I know I'll always be safe,"

As I spoke the last few words I could see Zacky's face light up with sheer happiness. It was the happiest I think I'd ever seen him. We both knew that I'd finally, completely forgiven him for anything and everything.

"Thank you," he whispered as he wrapped his arms safely around my beaten and battered frame. When he pulled away I saw a stray tear fall down him cheek, but he wiped it away quickly.

"You... she... what?" India stuttered, not able to make sense of everything that had been revealed.

"Your friends are all more than welcome to come over absolutely any time, the house is big enough for all of them. I'll call the girls straight away and let them get started on decorating your new room, they've been dying to since I told them all about you. I can't believe this. You're going to live like a princess Beth, you can anything you want, anything!" he rattled on excitedly. It was adorable. "You're gonna love all the guys' girlfriends, they're dying to meet you. Your schedule is already booked full of shopping trips and spa days and parties with the girls. I'd best go tell them all the good news," he practically skipped out of the room with his phone already in his hand. It really was the happiest I'd ever seen him. That made me happy too.

"So..." India started, pulling my attention back towards my best friend. "I'm going to miss you?" she said sadly, pouting a little.

"I'm going to miss you too."

"I'm really happy for you. But, how're you feeling about your mum?" she asked.

"Honestly, I think I'm relieved. Almost everything I've had to put up with over the years was because of her, I mean, well Zacky would have never left me if it wasn't for her boyfriends being abusive towards him," I realised. After all these years I'd never come to the conclusion that it was Serena's fault that Zacky left, but I suppose after the rose tinted glasses were lifted, I could really see all the drama, hurt and trouble she leaves in her wake.

"But is it going to be that easy? To just up and leave with him? Surely there are some legal stuff to do first?" I knew that India was happy for me but I think she wanted to cling on to the hope that there may be some way to keep me around.

"I'm sure there probably is, but he'll take care of everything. He's my big brother and I know that he'd die to protect me."