Screaming in Silence

I awoke in my crack den of a house to several loud, angry bangs on my bedroom door. The three locks rattled loosely with each bang and threatened to fall off. I made a mental note to fix those. A deep voice called my name angrily from the other side of the door, so I rolled over and went back to sleep with my ear plugs in. That man threatening obscene things on the other side of the door, that was Tony. Tony was my mother's latest boyfriend and he was not a nice man. Tony would scream, shout and stamp his big feet when he was angry and demanded things to be done his way. Tony was a very impatient man and, on occasion, he could get very violent. I'd had several bruises before and a few trips down the stairs, but nothing a little heavy duty stage make-up can't hide. As I rolled onto my left side and closed my eyes again, I winced in pain as I remembered the most recent argument I'd had with this man who was currently residing in my house.

I'd just come home from work and I dumped my bag at the bottom of the stairs before jogging up the staircase and dashing straight towards my safe. Without a second to spare I locked away my day's earnings, safe from Tony's thieving hands.

"Bethany!" his booming voice called down the hallway, his footsteps becoming louder and heavier the closer he trudged towards my room. I jumped and dashed to shut my bedroom door, but fell over myself in the process. "Beth, your mum needs some money," he growled. I shook my head confidently, picking myself off the floor and searching my wardrobe casually for some clean clothes to change into. My work clothes were dull and drab, and after a long day at work I wanted to relax in something comfortable. "Don't you shake your head at me you deaf bitch," he growled. After almost a year, the dumb hick still couldn't grasp the idea that I can hear, I just can't talk. Idiot. "I know you have money, I saw you runnin' up with with a wad of crash in your hand,"

I simply shook my head again. There was no way this man was getting any of my money, I was saving it to put a deposit on a place of my own and finally get away from this crack house.

I turned away from Tony. That was my first mistake. Always keep an eye on your opponent. He grabbed a handful of my hair and slammed my face into my wardrobe. He grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, twisting and twisting until a weak whimper slipped past my lips.

"Look kid, your mum needs some money so you're gonna fuckin' give me some," he growled into my ear. I shook my head again. It was my money and he was never getting a penny. He pulled my back by my hair and threw me to the ground, my head hitting the door frame with a loud crack. I quickly got on my hands and knees and attempted to crawl away. I got just outside of my bedroom when his foot came crashing down my back, pinning me to the floor with his steel toed Doc Martins. "When I ask you for something, you're gonna fuckin' do it you little bitch!" he yelled, I could hear his anger rising and rising, and I could feel it too. His foot pressed down harder and harder on my back, to the point where I found it hard to breath. I gasped for air and my arms flailed uselessly to attempt to push his big foot off my back. With one final struggle, I managed to make Tony's heavy boot wobble slightly, but enough to push myself off the ground. I staggered to my feet like Bambi taking his first steps and stumbled towards the stairs. I could hear his angry curses under his breath and the loud stomp, stomp, stomp of his boots on the creaky wooden floors as he trudged after me. Just as I reached the top of the stairs I felt a pair of strong, rough hands on my back, pushing me down the stairs. I tumbled and turned, splinters of the rotting wood sticking into my arms as I tried to protect my face from anymore beatings that the stairs offered up. The sharp wooden edges cut several gashes in my skin, tearing my clothes as I continued to fall. I landed on the floor on my left arm and winced in pain, but I had no time to stop. I quickly picked my tired body off the floor and grabbed my bag as I hobbled out the door. He didn't come after me, but I still tried to run as best as I could.
That's why I have the three locks on my door.

Tony still banged away on my bedroom door, but I continued to ignore him. I didn't want to face him again so soon, I needed to let my bruises and cuts have time to heal first before we started on round two. I reluctantly opened my eyes to inspect the damage done to my arm. I stretched my fingers easily, with only slight discomfort and I was able to move my arm without too much pain so I deemed it perfectly fine.

Despite Tony's violent and angry ways, he still wasn't the worst boyfriend my mother had ever taken home. Back when Zach was still with us she had this boyfriend called Nick. He was a nasty piece of work. Thanks to him, Zach wasn't around much longer after Nick arrived on the scene.

"Fuckin' open this fuckin' door you fuckin' slag!" Tony demanded, showing off his extensive vocabulary. Sarcasm, how I loved to use it. It was a shame no one ever heard it. I groaned wearily and tried to sleep on through the noise, but despite the earplugs squashed tightly into my ears, I couldn't block him out. I checked my clock and saw that I need to be up soon for school anyway, so I reluctantly rolled out of bed and landed precariously on my unbalanced feet. I yawned slightly and stretched my arms and legs, wandering over to my beat-up dressing table. It was a wonder that thing was still standing. the dressing table was so old that it may have even been around before Henry the 8th. The wood was chipped and splintered and the draws were practically hanging off, or literally in some cases. The mirror sat balancing dangerously in between a few piles of books also had a huge smash in the middle. That particular one was courtesy of Tony's predecessor, Andrew. He was such a nice guy. Yet another example of my witty sarcasm.

I carefully plucked out a face wipe from the pack and scrubbed away and remnants of the last night's make-up or dried blood, wincing slightly when the alcohol from the wipe seeped into any cuts on my hands or face. My clothes were already laid out from before the previous night's arguments when I had attempted to act casual. I carefully dressed, avoiding putting too much pressure on my sore ankle, and sat down behind the ancient dressing table. I sighed when I looked into the pot of foundation and saw that it was quickly running out, I needed that foundation to keep my secret. I lathered a thick layer of the tanned cream onto my face and felt satisfied with the result. My previously bruised and battered face was now a complete even skin colour.

"Bethany! Give me that goddamn money you deaf whore!" I just snorted at the irony of the fact that he thought I was deaf, yet he was shouting louder and louder to get my attention. Maybe I should play deaf? No, that didn't seem like a good idea. I grabbed my school bag, already packed full of books, and began to climb out of my bedroom window. Sneaking out my window was really the only way to get out without Tony knowing, to this day he still doesn't know how I managed to get out every day. He really was thick. I landed roughly on my sore ankle and winced at the sharp pain. I mentally cursed at Tony for being such a nuisance.

I never really cared much about what Tony did, all he was to me was a nuisance and a pain in the backside, literally. He could hit and punch, kick and scream, slap and break things as much as he liked, but I really couldn't care less about his lack of human emotion other than rage. He was just a fad for my mum and soon enough he'd be out on his ass just like the rest of them. Not all of my mom's boyfriends had been abusive, but funnily enough the nice ones always left quicker. My theory for that was that they were nice and all, but they were too nice for a life like mine. The abusive ones? Well, they'd been used to my life and worse, so in a way I felt a little sorry for them because they'd never known the true love of a family and the warmth of a child's affection. And if they had, then they're just dicks.

I walked along the concrete pavement on my way to school and thought back. I tried to remember a time when I was truly happy with my life, when I'd smile and laugh with everyone else. I tried to remember what my voice sounded like, but that disappeared along with Zach. I used to be somewhat normal, considering my home life anyway. My mother hadn't been normal since the death of my father apparently so I'd never known her any different, but at least with Zach around it was bearable. It was normal for me. I missed Zach. God, did I miss him but I knew that there was no way I'd ever see his grinning face again. Never again would my weeping soul be comforted by his strong arms wrapped safely around me.

I looked around me and saw mothers and fathers taking their children to school. The siblings would fight and tease each other and I would laugh to myself. Zach and I were never like that. My eyes then moved on to an older version of the two naughty children and saw Nathan and Lucy Jameson. They were the same age as me and they fought like cat and dog. The two were constantly complaining to and about each other and it drove me to the brink of insanity. Didn't these two realise that blood was thicker than water? Didn't they realise what I would give to even be able to argue with my big brother? Their constant arguments made me so angry my teeth would grind and my fingernails would dig deep into my palms. But I knew I couldn't say anything, even if I wanted to.

"Beth!" called a sweet voice from behind me. I turned to see little angel Alice running to catch up with me. I smiled a cheery smile and waved at her. "Hey," she breathed, catching her breath as she slowed down to walk beside me. "You seen any of them yet?" she asked, referring to our little group of misfits. I just shook my head in response. "Are you limping?" she asked, a slight frown appearing on her pixie-like face. I quickly dropped the limp and attempted to walk normally. Alice didn't know about Tony. No one did. But he wouldn't last much longer in our dysfunctional little family, so I didn't see the importance of worrying my friends about such an unimportant matter such as this.

We continued walking to school with Alice nattering away mindlessly like she always did, and me just listening and nodding at every important moment, like I always did.