You Leave Me Breathless

James held me in the parking lot.

“Come on Ben, I don’t like it when you cry. Cheer up for me.” We sat down on the sidewalk. He kept trying to boost my spirit, it didn’t work.

“Why?” I said through my tears.

“Why what?”

“Why does he do that to me?” My scream echo down the alley. This is frustrating. So frustrating! “He acts like he likes me. That he cares for me but then goes off to fuck scummy ass hoe!” James sigh. He took out a cigarette and lit it for me. I didn’t even hesitated to smoke it.

“Ben. It’s Danny. He flirts with anyone and anything that moves. I used to be in that same position as you. He pulls you in with his flirting and acts like he care.” I glaze over at him. At what he said earlier.

“Same position?” He gave me a weak smile. I inhale some smoke.

“Yeah. I had feelings for Danny too. Had sex with him once, but only during a threesome. Doesn’t really count. Listen, the emotions you are feeling right now, will pass. There is no point of fall for him if all he’s going to do is use you.”

I couldn’t believe anything he was saying to me. My mind and heart is set for Danny and Danny only. I remember how my other relationships went. I was always getting used. Sex wise and personal reasons. When I’m around Danny. I feel better instantly. He make me feel like I’m something at times. The days he’s not plowing a girl. I didn’t even know James rolled that way. I didn’t even know I roll that way.

**

When I got on the bus, the first thing I look at was the Fuck Chart. Looks like Danny went up to 17 a week. My number 2. I’m at the bottom of this chart. Danny walk out to the front where I was. Sam, James, and Cam was out. He sat next to me. I tried to remember what James told me yesterday. I couldn’t think. Danny lean on me.

“Ben, I have a problem.” Damn straight you do, but I knew that’s not what he meant.

“What’s that?” I had my eyes lock on the tv screen, watching some weird cartoon show. He took my wrist and lay my hand on his lap. Well, what I thought was his lap until it moved. I snatch my hand away from his crotch.

“Jesus Danny!” He move closer to me.

“Ben, come on. I have a boner and I am too lazy to fish out a girl this late.” I made it seem like I was disgusted with his idea. “The bus is ours. I’m not asking you to fuck me or anything. Just, wank it.” This is weird, because his breath was clean. Alchool free.

“Wank it your damn self!” He kiss my neck like he did last time. He said please. He was making this situation harder on me.

Maybe if I do this, he will like me. He will start open his eyes. I place my hand back on his bulge. My mind, off.

“I’ll do something better.” I said. I slowly got on my knees in front of him. I unbutton his pants and pull them down along with his underwear. I’ve seen naked before but when I did this, I felt like I never had. I wrap my hand around him. He moan with a evil grin on his face. I dared myself. I would do anything to get him to love me back.

I lick the top of his head as I pump him. I began to blow him. I wanted to make this last, but Danny on the other hand wanted it done and over with. Grabbing a handful of my hair, he force me to swallow all of him. I take back for saying he’s 4 inches. I moan, making vibrations. It send chills up to him.

He pulled on my hair as he push his hips back and forth, fucking my face in. He’s so mean and forceful with it. He pull my head all the way down as he came in my mouth. He yank my head away. I was about to spit it out. He grab my arm.

“It’s rude to spit. Swallow. All of it.” I didn’t want to. I got in his face and swallowed.

“Good boy.” I kiss me on my lips before going to the bathroom.

Ew. Oh, god. My mouth was on his dick. I thought about all the girls he had brought on this bus. I found mouthwash in James kit under the table. Then it hit me.

Shit. James told me not to fall for him. But I’m not. I’m trying to have him fall for me. There’s a difference. Right? I smile at my own fuck up thoughts. He will be mine. Someday. I just have to work for it.