Not Worth Your Tears

Kyle didn't come out onto the porch for six days, day or night, like he did every day. In fact, I didn't see him at all. Nothing much happened after our argument. Except that I got a call from Starbucks, the one Kyle and I had gone to that night, and they hired me without many questions. I took it Kyle had still spoken to them on my behalf. I tried to remain indifferent about that, but slowly I couldn't help but think that he must still care about me, even if it was just slightly. I hoped that was the case.

Having to give back my rented truck, I was stuck with walking to work every day. Today was my third day of work and I picked up quickly. I was in charge of the cash for part of the day, and in charge of Chapters shelf stocking and such there. Apparently the owner of this Starbucks bought Chapters and combined the shop. I smiled at Tara as I walked in, and she smiled and waved. Tara was another one of the three workers on shift tonight.

"Morning Kaybree! How are you? More importantly, how's you know... Kyle?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Don't know. Still haven't seen him since..." I said, tying a bow in the tie strings of my green smock. Tara and I had quickly become friends, which surprised me. I was never the open, outgoing type, but something about being around Kyle opened up the real, happier me. I had told Tara about the fight my second day of work and she showered me with sympathy, which for once I didn't mind receiving.

"Oh what a boy. And really though, he'd be much better off without her. Have you met her? She's such a slooty patootie!" Tara shook her head and gave a sour smile at a costumer who had just walked in the door.

The lady scowled at her and flipped her long liquid chocolate hair over her shoulder. She strutted over to the book section and glared in the mirror, looking me in the eyes. I blinked and stared back, waiting for her to look away, but she didn't.

"That's her, Kaybree." Tara mumbled quietly, nudging me with her elbow before she turned to serve another costumer.

Kennedy. This was Kennedy? She did look like a bitch, but I was expecting at least a friendlier face. She was thin and tiny, her eyes were dull and cold, and full of hatred. Her skin was pale, but her face was tanned, artificially no doubt, and her chest looked too wide in certain places, making me assume that her bra had been stuffed or her plastic surgeon was one off the streets. She wore painful looking flats on her overly large feet, and bright red lipstick on her thin lips.

Kennedy strutted up to my cash register and nearly slammed two books on the desk. Thirst one and Thirst two. I smirked and rung them in. I looked up to see her glare at the two books. "He talked about them." I blinked at her, and she looked away and threw two twenties on the counter. "He said you liked them." I gawked at her and she looked me over in disgust. "Stop trying to impress him. He's not worth your precious little time darling." A look of acted sympathy crossed her face. "He's in the big leagues. Leave men to me, and you should go back to middle school, dear."

I raised an eyebrow and Tara had stopped listening to her costumer and shared the stare of shock we were both giving at her. Kennedy grabbed the books off the counter, and I went to give her her two - fifty back when she laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "Keep the change sweetheart, you need it more than I do." My arms shook and the temperature in the room soared. I had to remind myself I was at work and counted to five in my mind, calming myself.

Kennedy smiled at me viciously, as if she had won a hard fought battle, but it wavered when I smiled back and laughed. "Thank you! Have a good day! Tell Trixybaby she forgot her blankie at my house." I giggled and set the change in my tip jar. She stood frozen, ridged.

"You leave my daughter out of this, you whore. And keep your hairy hands off my fiancé!" She snarled, slamming her hand down on the counter. By now the entire line-up stared at her, their faces surprised and alert.

A small diamond sat snug in the middle of a gold ring, and she smiled at me. "He asked me yesterday. And I said yes!" Kennedy's smile fell and she glared. "So back off."

Kennedy turned on her heel and swung her hips, triumphant, out the front door leaving me speechless. I stared down at the counter where I had seen the ring on her ring finger that was definitely on her left hand. I placed a hand over my mouth, and I felt nauseous. He was going to marry her? My vision of Kennedy was at least a little more pleasant than what she turned out to be. In my head I saw them at the altar, her in a tight, short white dress, Kyle in a dashing black suit and Trix in a mini dress, red like blood, throwing petals.

I choked on my breath and tears clouded my vision. I threw a glance at Tara and she waved me to the bathroom. I stumbled towards the staff bathroom and opened the door, locking myself inside. I cried and banged lightly on the side of a stall. My entire body trembled and I felt my anger rising. I'd finish this shift, go home, then-? Then what? What could I do?

I worked hard through work. Always being the first at the cash, always stocking, cleaning and all in all working 110% to forget about Kyle. I clocked out at three thirty and walked home, the anger that drove me all day, faded, leaving me weak and tired.

I came into the kitchen and poured a glass of water when a loud knock sounded on my door. I peeked into the peep hole to find Kyle standing here, his clothes wrinkled slightly and his hair messy. I frowned, knowing he had been with Kennedy. I ignore the acid coming up my throat and opened the door. Kyle smiled at me and threw his arms around me, and hugged me tightly.

My eyes bulged out of my head and my face turned red immediately. I patted him on the back, and stared up awkwardly at the ceiling. “Kyle?”

He pulled back from me but kept his hands on my shoulders. “She said she’d marry me Kaybree! It’s been five years, and finally she said yes to me.”

I choked slightly, and closed my eyes. Kyle was so happy, and I felt terrible. I should feel excited, happy for him even, but I just couldn't. But I would make the best of the moment. Kyle's long warm arms calmed my constant chill, and made my heart race. I wrapped my arms around him, and pulled him close. "Good job."

We stood quiet for a moment, holding each other tightly. If Kyle was getting married, I'd never get this chance again. I savored it. "I'm sorry Kaybree. For walking out on you like that. I was just... I was upset, that's all." I laid my head on his collar bone and sighed. He froze as my breath tickled his skin, and then relaxed.

"I survived." I laughed, smiling against his skin.

I felt the skin of his cheeks tighten, and I knew he was smiling. "I missed your laugh, Kaybree. I missed you, you know that right?" I let my grin fall, and instead of answering, closed my eyes. "I kept thinking that I left you, knowing you might try and... and hurt yourself... and I.. I was so upset..."

"Just because you left doesn't mean I'm going to kill myself, Kyle." I laughed half-heartedly. I pulled away from him, but kept my arms around him. "I've been left alone before, Kyle. In times and places I haven't wanted to be left alone. But I'm okay now."

His eyes widened and his hands tightened on the back of my sweater. "Kaybree, I'm such a horrible friend. You told me you're life story and how he always left you, and everything and I flip out and can't even handle you saying a few words. I'm so sorry Kaybree. I won't leave you like that again, okay?" I felt my lips tremble and his eyes searched mine, concerned. I burst into tears and snuggled myself into his arms and wept into his shirt. "Sh, Kaybree, please don't cry. I'm here... I'm here."

Kyle stayed in my apartment all afternoon, and we talked deeply about our lives as we sat snuggled up on the couch like we had been friends for decades. We talked of wedding invitations and wedding arrangements.

"Kyle, you know...you know that I.. I am in love with you.." I started being cut off.

"You think you love me." Kyle said, raising an eyebrow.

"Kyle, I do. I do love you, and I wish you weren't marrying her. But I want you to be happy. So if there's anything I can do to help you out with your wedding, I'd be glad to help. As long as, you know, you ask me and not...her." I smirked and he smiled back.

"Kay, you can't act like you hate her. You've never even met her." He said, shoving me lightly with his shoulder.

I looked up at him and let my frown flop sideways. "That's what you think. She came into Starbucks today, and freaked at me in front of everyone."

Kyle brought his eyebrows together and shook his head. "That doesn't sound like her Kay. She's really sweet. Maybe it wasn't her?"

I looked down at my hands. "She said you weren't worth my time, because you were a man, and to leave the men to her. Then, she slammed her hand down on the desk, showed me her ring, and told me to keep away from you and Trixy...."

Kyle set his hand on my head and petted my hair. "I'm sorry Kaybree...that you had to find out...like that."

I choked back resurrecting tears and shook my head, clearing my thoughts. It's alright Kyle. At least you're happy..."

Kyle smiled lightly and nodded. "Right." Kyle's eyes widened and he smiled. "I forgot to tell you! I have a bar show out in Germany next week! A company wants to see me live, and then they might sign me!"

I threw my arms around his neck and squeezed him. "Thats wonderful Kyle! I'm so proud of you! I'm sure you'll do wonderful!"

"Thanks Kay. Anyway I better go to bed, okay?" He said, kissing my forehead and ruffling my hair. For a man whos getting married and doesn't want me to love him, he's making it pretty damn hard.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow Ky!" I waved as he left and fell onto the couch.