Four Corners and Two Sides

Over the next month, Sleeping With Sirens and The Story Of How had slowly been simmering in all things, friendship mostly. It was just... too awkward to be around them.
The last time I had really talked to Kellin was the confrontation. Suggesting that I take in Eric while I still had feelings for Kellin, really bummed me out. But it was an important decision I had to make. Either be a fling and feel guilty about the things that had happened in the past, or see if time would make me develop feelings for someone who could really be great for me. I knew which one was the best answer, obviously, but following my heart was turning out to be difficult for me. As shown by the choices I made on Warped.
With the tour nearing an end, I had tried to sign off with one of our toughest experiences, by writing new lyrics. The only problem was, they all ended up fucking awful. I mean, depressive, emotional, babble bullshit about teen angst. That was not what I had in mind for new songs. There was no one in the world who could convince me to show the lyrics to my boys. I could imagine, very clearly, Mitchell taking the worst ones and yelling them out to our next crowd. It would be my ultimate downfall. It would be the moment where he'd lose his favorite accessory... and I would put my victory in a trophy case back at home.
It was dusk as I stomped down the steps of our bus, which had been so kind to us over the whole tour. I patted her side, with my yellow notebook tight in my other hand.
"Hey girly," Eric appeared to my left, holding up a bottle of water. "Brought this for you. We ran out of water this morning, if you didn't notice."
"Oh yeah." I nodded and smiled as I took the dripping plastic. "Thank you."
Eric watched me, in a non-creepy way, take a few gulps of the most refreshing drink since earth was created. And it wasn't weird that he came over by himself. It wasn't weird that he had thought about me to get the bottle of water in the first place. The fact that I was even in his thoughts made me feel better about myself. After all this time, tugging him along in the friend zone, making him watch Kellin and I open up to each other and become best friends... Eric was still there for me. Doing nice things for me. My heart was close to bursting out of my chest as I stared at my good friend. His smile was so goofy, and he just shrugged casually, as if he knew that I was so appreciative for the drink, for everything. I really was, and it happened to be the most honest thing I had felt in weeks.
"So," he broke the silence and crossed his arms. "How are the lyrics coming?"
I took a deep breath and looked down at my notebook, ashamed at how bad my writing had become over the summer. I wasn't writing for our fans or for our band. I was just writing to have something to do. I was writing for a simple, selfish purpose: to satisfy my own emotional problems. That's why people have blogs or a separate notebook, duh.
Frustrated, I threw my notebook on the ground and stomped on it, as a response to Eric's question. He lifted his eyebrows in amusement, as that goofy smile made it's way back onto his face.
"Oh, oh yes," he laughed, "it's going very well I can see."
"Not enough attitude," I groaned.
"Not enough... of what we already have?" He asked as he walked over to me, slowly. "Eliza, just remember, we're not done with what we have going right now."
My notebook lost all of my attention as I glanced up at him. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. Was he talking about us or...?
"I--I mean, the band. You know. We're not done growing at this stage. I don't know," Eric stumbled on his words, his face turning a deep red in the glow of the field lights. "We're all meeting at Of Mice & Men's tent, okay? See you over there, yeah?"
He didn't wait for me to reply, but instead, turned on his heel and quickly vanished into the shadows. I heard someone yell his name in the distance, guessing by the growl that followed, it had to be Mitchell.
I swooped down and picked up what was left of my scribbled pages, and flipped open to the first page. Our original lyrics, in red ink, for "Hit and Miss", the first single The Story Of How had released. A bunch of words stripped of their honor to be on the page, as they were covered by an over usage of the wasted ink. I bit my lip as I got struck with an overwhelming urge to cry. It was so long ago that we were so small. I felt so small, standing alone outside of our bus, holding onto the one thing I had complete control over. I lost myself over the past, few months, and I was going to redeem the old Eliza. I had just the right amount of time to bring myself back from the holes I had put myself into.