Four Corners and Two Sides

He dropped me back off to my bus shortly after, feeling a bit like a garbage bag. I didn't know how else to describe it, but for Kellin, it must have been refreshing.
I solemnly walked up the steps to the bus, until his voice made me turn back around.
"Hey, listen," he softly grabbed my arm. "Tomorrow, your band and my band. We should hang out, see each other off. No hard feelings between any of us."
"Oh yeah, yeah. That sounds great." I gave him a heart warming smile, and he let go of my arm. The missing warmth made my stomach burn. No hard feelings, that was something I'd need to work on.
He gave me one last nod, and began to walk back toward his own bus, which was pretty close to us.
I slammed the door and whipped off my flannel, taking a moment for myself to let out everything I held in. I screamed. They were all in the living room.
"Whoa there! You're gonna make it sound like we're molesting you or something," Mitchell yelled over me.
I shut up immediately, and took a deep, heavy breath. It helped, but only a little.
"I'm sorry, but this is just so damn stressful." I flopped down next to Eddie on the couch, who didn't dare look at me. He knew who I saw, and he didn't want to hear about it. "Am I annoying?"
"No."
"Yes, duh."
"Well, sometimes. But you're a girl."
"I know you too well that I can't say no."
I stared up at the ceiling, cracking each of the joints in my fingers, one by one.
"Tell me I didn't waste my summer. Tell me I didn't, and mean it."
But it was silent. No boy on this bus said a word, and I just quietly laughed to myself, hating where I was and what this turned into. I needed one night to myself, just to watch my favorite films in my bunk. Air conditioner full blast, smothered by my fuzzy blankets. It sounded so perfect.
I just couldn't understand though... did Kellin not see how his words had affected me? Or maybe he did see, and was ignoring them, so he wouldn't go back on his word. So he wouldn't have to see some lame, teenage girl freak out or whatever. I wasn't going to freak out with him around, but he had no sympathy at all for me? Ouch.
"Well gentlemen, there's always a tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. I'm hitting the bunks. Please don't bother me unless you have food or something nice to say," I yawned and stretched. "I'm serious, Mitchell. I don't even have to look at you to know you're planning something."
"No..."
"Shush."
"But I love you!"
"I love you too, but this grandma needs some rest."
Their eyes followed me as I walked into the bunk hallway, gently closing the divider behind me. I fell asleep a half hour into Across the Universe when I woke up from a light knock on the divider.
"Yep?"
"It's Eric." Hmm.
"Come in," I said in a high pitched voice.
He came in quickly, shut the divider, and sat down on the bottom of my bed. I smiled at him, waiting for what he had to say, patiently and sleepy.
"We all know who was with you." He fiddled around with his fingers.
"I figured. Especially by the way I came back in," I giggled.
Eric nodded, taking a share of the laughter. "Anyways, although what happened really pissed me off, I'm always going to be your best friend. And now that you know I like you more than a friend, I really don't want any awkwardness between us. I can't help my feelings, but I won't lose you. Even if that means I'll have to pretend I don't like you in that way."
I bit my lip, stifling my nervous laugh. My stomach felt like it was being tickled, "butterflies" I assumed, but it felt new to me. Maybe because it had been so long since I actually felt them.
"I have a question," I said.
"Yes?"
"What happened to your clipboard?"
Eric keeled over and chuckled, closing his eyes and my face turned red. What was going on? What was happening felt so... geeky.
"I think it's in my bag," he said.
"I have another thing to say."
"Yes."
"An apology. For flirting with you and leading you on that day," I stopped and waited for a reaction, but he just sat there, no expression on his face. "For forgetting about you, because you have always been my best mate. For thinking Kellin was the greatest thing to happen to me, but I did not let him effect our music! Ha, so you and Mitchell were totally wrong about that... hmm, let's see..."
"All right, that's enough. I forgive you for being a biatch this whole tour, and making me think, for one day, that you were going to fall in love with me." He locked eyes with mine and smirked. I turned away, red once again, back to the television. "And Eddie told me you are having lyric trouble. So he did affect the music, actually."
"Hey!" I shouted. "That's just the writing. I was talking about the actual music. Like, sounds. On stage. Performing. You ding dong."
"Dear Eliza, it's all part of one big group."
"You can blow me, then. You guys are so stupid," I snorted.
"Welcome back, we missed you," Eric said, and he knelt down... to tickle me. And everything was going to be okay. I instantly felt better, and I knew tomorrow was going to be awesome.

Portland, Oregon. It was dark out for the whole morning, but when it was our time to play, the sun peeked through the clouds, raising the temperature of course. By the time our set was over, I was soaked, not just from sweat, but in the middle of "Blast from the Past", Mitchell decided to pour ice cold water all over me. It was nice, but not at first...
"I can't believe it. Even on stage, you can be a total dick," I slapped him across the back with my free hand. My other hand was holding onto Sanders' symbol. That was my part time job. All through out tour, I carried Sanders' symbol basically every day.
"It's the final date, don't be such a pussy. Live a little."
"Says you. What have you even done all summer?"
"I let Vic Fuentes cut my hair. That shit was gold."
I stopped walking. "While he was drunk?"
Mitchell joined me as the rest of the guys moved along, snickering.
"Yeah. I know! He didn't fuck up or anything. It was a miracle."
"But you... were also drunk?"
"Yeah."
Mitchell's hair was always long, past his ears, super shaggy and unkept (but that never stopped girls from talking it up with him, for some odd reason). Being on Warped Tour, you didn't get a lot of showers. Imagine a greasy end of a mop head.
"It doesn't look different. I think you're lying."
"No!" Mitchell frowned. "I am not. You accuse me of lying, of all people, Eliza?"
"I'm going to ask Vic." He perked up. "If it was the highlight of your summer."
"I fucked his younger sister. That was the highlight." He looked off into the sky, daydreaming. And Sanders' symbol dropped into the dirt with a clang.
"Oh my god, where is Vic? I'm telling him."
"If you fucking tell him..."
"Why'd you tell me then?!"
"I--I wasn't thinking, god damn it. It just slipped out! You are almost one of the guys!"
"Wow," I said. "Wow..." I laughed so hard, I could barely lean over and pick up the instrument. I promised Mitchell that I wouldn't tell Vic, but if I passed Vic by some chance, I'd let it be known about Mitchell's endeavors.
I purposely acted like a pain in the ass, and it was revenge. For all the crap he did to all of us over the summer, he was getting slammed with it in one day. It was a beautiful final day after all.

"Hey," Eddie opened up the bus door, peeking his head in. "We're almost finished packing, but Sleeping with Sirens wanted to give us a farewell. Are you joining in?"
I had debated, notebook in hand, all afternoon whether or not it would be appropriate for me to join. I wasn't getting along much with SWS, so I figured it'd just make things weird if I said goodbye. Then again, they were an important stepping stone in my life.
"Yeah, coming." I threw off my blanket and followed Eddie, who had his celebratory beer can in his hand. I smiled at his consistency.
I placed my hand up in front of my eyes, to cover the beaming sunlight, and saw all of SWS standing around. Including Katelynne. She looked different from the last time I saw her. Her face was strained, wouldn't make eye contact with any of us. Maybe Kellin told her? But it didn't matter now anyway.
"So, The Story Of How, it's been fun. You guys put on a great show, we'd definitely be psyched to have you open for us sometime," Jesse said as he shook hands with Eddie.
Ugh, please don't prod that idea into their heads.
"Seriously? We'd love to!" Sanders nodded.
"Yeah, not your next tour, but maybe the one after?" I was a killjoy. "We gotta get a record out sometime."
Silence. This always happened whenever I spoke.
"Oh, uh huh. Selling records is more important nowadays," Kellin winked at me. That wasn't... what I meant, but okay.
I furrowed my eyebrows, and he no longer kept up his amusing attitude. He faltered, noticing I was offended.
"Sorry, I was just joking. We know how it is. It's not more important, but definitely important when you're hitting it big."
"Yep, it sure is," I snapped.
"So," Eric broke the tension. "We'll see you guys around. It's been fun. Thanks for partying with us and showing us a good time."
"A real good time," I nodded. Sanders nudged me, Mitchell gave me a dirty look. Eddie couldn't give two shits, and Eric knew why I was being so sour. He didn't hold it against me. I loved having my best friend back.
We exhanged goodbyes, and I gave Kellin one last look as he walked away. I had a feeling, deep in my gut, it wasn't going to be the last time I saw him. We took one last walk together as group, around the venue. I met up with Alan and rubbed through that gingery hair of his. We hung out for a bit with Four Year Strong, Mayday Parade and Senses Fail. I never saw Vic, but I made a mental note to tell him, next time.
And we were back in our van by sunset. Making our way down to California, and I would see my mom, and my dog.
Most importantly, my bed. Yes!