Four Corners and Two Sides

I didn't take the chance to watch SWS perform. I wasn't exactly feeling another live show after today's encounter with most of the band. In fact, I was more open to meeting fans and signing stuff. Since that was the productive thing to do. Eddie, our wise Buddha. He snapped at me for my girly behavior.
"It's about what we're doing for the kids. I don't want to see you caught up in some mess, especially this early in the tour."
"What kind of mess exactly?" Our signing was less than forty five minutes away, but Eddie and I escaped the heat while the others were outside preparing materials. Which probably included five pens and posters, but they always made themselves seem more busy than they actually were.
We were seated comfortably on the bus, and the couch was not leather! I was so happy when I bounced on the cotton. The thing about leather couches... there are people out there who think they're great for warmer weather. Sure, the material keeps cool, but if you have even an ounce of sweat on your legs, you will stick to the couch like you both were made for each other.
So as I was basking in the glory of this great find, Eddie wanted to lecture me on proper etiquette for Warped. I thought of a dozen other things I'd rather be doing with my time... like Kellin, but that was besides the point.
He opened up a can of Budweiser and settled himself in. "What do you mean what kind of mess? What do you think I'm talking about?" He took a sip and closed his eyes.
I wasn't sure if he wanted me to answer that or not, since he sounded tense. That short temper was always my worst enemy. I tried my best to not sound clueless, or stupid, but of course, I was having trouble.
"Erm, does this have anything to do with Sleeping with Sirens?"
"No, not the band as a whole. Take another guess."
"No, Eddie. This is ridiculous."
"You're right. This is ridiculous," he clapped his hands as best he could with a can in one, and even his hands sounded sarcastic to me. "You don't even know anything about this Kellin Quinn. What I know is that he's in his mid-twenties. And you're only nineteen. Getting involved with someone that much older than you can really fuck shit up, Liz."
What a hypocrite, I thought.
I stood up and mustered the dirtiest glare I could. "Yeah, and getting involved in someone else's business can fuck shit up too, Ed. Who do you think you are?"
"Your friend whose just trying to look out for someone he cares about."
"I don't need anyone to look out for me. I'm a big girl, I know what I'm doing."
Eddie had the decency to laugh at me and shake his head, as if I really was so naive. But I knew I was right, no matter how difficult he was making this turn out to be.
"I'm tired of you guys bringing down any boy I find as a good match for me," I sat back down and took a giant breath. "Am I supposed to stay single to satisfy all of you or something?"
Eddie stared at me for what seemed like forever. Time was moving like molasses, and then he blinked out of his coma-like state.
He took a big gulp of the beer and crunched the empty can. "I won't say I told you so. But when something happens, promise me you won't come running to me, Elizabeth."
I cringed when he used my full name. But he was the only one who could use it without things getting weird between us. As if they weren't weird at the moment anyway, right?
"Oh, I won't," I assured, and then made my way off of the bus into the sunlight. I made a point to slam the door and I took my seat at the plastic table. Sanders and Eric were both looking at my face, and all of a sudden, Mitchell grabbed it.
"Tears? Sweat that is fake because you were crying out of your eyes?" I swatted his hand away.
"Get away from me, Mitchell."
He stuck his finger on my cheek, and licked the tip.
"No salt, nothing. Damn. We were sure that Eddie was gonna give you a verbal assassination."
"Do you know how to respect personal space or is it a defect of your gender?"
"Whoa there," Eric began. "Whatever happened with old man Eddie, please try not to take it out on us."
I threw my arms up in the air, astonished.
"Mitchell totally just grabbed my face, and then felt it was necessary to lick his own finger to see if I was crying." I grabbed a permanent marker and snapped the cap off and on as a side hobby. "I don't see the problem with asking people if they're crying before you touch them."
"Hey," Sanders' head appeared around Mitchell from the very end of the table. "It's only the first day, guys. Let's just chill out, motherfuckers."
"Yes, I agree. And let's stay out of my personal business, while we're at it." Being on this tour was going to be harder than I thought.
Sanders spoke up again. "As long as Quinn doesn't break up our band, I'm good."
"Just shut up. We're not even romantically involved. What is everyone's issue?"
"But you like him," Eric declared. "Which means you'll be pursuing him through out the tour. That is if you guys don't get together as soon as possible anyways."
They were all afraid of a man who had his own band to worry about. I couldn't help myself. I grinned at Eric, and started to laugh.
"You're intimidated by him, admit it."
"Are you on crack?" Mitchell asked. "We're not intimidated by some wuss singer. It's just that he's capable of taking you away from us. That's shitty, Eliza. We've worked so fucking hard to be here."
"I get it!" I yelled, gaining attention from passerby's. They didn't talk much after that. In fact, we all faked our happiness as the signing began. Eddie eventually joined us, holding another can of alcohol. He sat down near Sanders, thank God. I had a splitting headache, and Sanders was right. It was only day one and I was worried I wouldn't survive the rest of this shit.
I thought about how selfish the boys were being. My happiness was a sacrifice for the band to keep afloat. I just wanted something to call my own for once, even if it was just going to be for the next three months. A fling that I didn't have to share with anyone else. It had always been like this, though. We started The Story of How in 2007, and since then, it had been about the group collectively, as a whole. They were forgetting that I wasn't a simple minded boy. I was a complex girl, who required affection and attention. Who required my own piece of mind sometimes. Kellin was the perfect distraction from the same crap I saw every day. From Mitchell's digs to Eddie's advice, my string was close to snapping. I immediately blamed Eddie for my bad mood and promised myself I wouldn't speak to him for the rest of the day. Or until he apologized, said something useful, said something constructive, said something not involving my love life, etc.
It was a bit ridiculous for Eric to assume that I was going to pursue Kellin. Eddie was totally right about me not knowing Kellin very well. I couldn't make up my feelings, they were all jumbled. Was it lust or something else that drove me to thinking about him? Whenever someone said his name, I immediately thought to his face. Big, blue-green eyes, tiny moles across his skin. The bright smile where a perfect set of teeth slept. How the shape of his nose complimented the rest of his features. How serene he looked when he laughed. And then it hit me. Kellin's looks derailed me from actually knowing who the guy was about.
A great way to get to know someone is to just talk to them about their interests. And if you didn't know their interests, you talked about their band. A tip, I wouldn't use that after you've gotten past step one.
So after the signing, I didn't tell the boys where I was going. Instead, I got up and I started walking through the flock of bodies to Sleeping with Sirens' bus, receiving hugs and kind words along the way.
Jesse and Jack Fowler were tanning in lawn chairs, and I overheard Jesse talking about wanting to paint his toenails before we all hit California.
"Yeah, man, I want hot pink. They can match the seashells on the seashore," he said.
I giggled as I walked closer to them. "I can do that for you later, if you want."
They both used their hands as visors to look up at me. Jesse smiled, and shook my hand.
"You're too kind."
"I try. So is uh, Kellin around?"
"Yeah, he's on the bus, probably playing with himself," he made a motion with his thumb pointing to the door. "You're free to go in."
"Okay..." I was hesitant. I didn't know whether to believe him or not. I wasn't totally sure on what boys did during Warped Tour.
Jesse noticed the shocked expression on my face and howled with laughter. "I'm joking. You're fine."
I placed a hand over my heart, my face heating up with embarrassment. "Whew, I wasn't too sure about you."
"Kellin makes himself out to be too innocent for that. We really have no idea what he's doing, but my guess is he's writing new music. You should go... inspire him." Jack enunciated the word in a way that made me actually feel extremely awkward. I wasn't trying for sexual contact this early, or any kind of contact that could "inspire" Kellin to write a new song, but I wouldn't expect much from these guys. I was sure they had their fair share of women on the bus.
I headed on over and opened up the door slowly. I planned on creeping in quietly, to show respect to space, but I would be a verbal disturbance. I didn't want to catch anyone off guard, no thank you. People do some weird things in their private time.
"Kellin?"