Four Corners and Two Sides

Kellin held my hand tightly as we drove all the way back to Warped, his thumb slowly working over mine. I stared out the window, my eyes stalling on trees and shrubs, the infamous view of a highway.
My smile could almost reach my ears as I thought back to the kiss. His touch on my hips, that look in his eyes. I had never felt this way before, and the innocence brought a chill up my spine. I wanted to tell someone what happened, girl talk, giggle and have those little moments where I would squeak in between words. But I didn't have anyone, and that sucked. The closer I got to Kellin, the farther I went from Eric, who was the only one I could think of that I'd talk to about it. But there was no way in Hell he was going to listen to me. The thought of telling Eric about the kiss produced a quick flush of vomit in my mouth. I swallowed hard and pushed the bad thoughts into the back of my mind.
My hormones were bursting through the seams, almost wishing I'd act on my impulses, make Kellin pull Jeff's car over, and we'd end up in a heap on the backseat. But I was a respectable girl, and patience was a virtue. I was hoping patience would get me through this. Was two months a lot of time with someone? A lot of time to like them enough to... love them? Maybe Kellin knew a thing or two about love, but I was as lost in love as I would be in a giant maze. Which direction did someone take in a situation like this?
"Today's been interesting so far, huh?" I said, breaking the silence around us.
I saw Kellin nod out of the corner of my eye, his hand slipping from my grip and back onto the steering wheel. I frowned.
"It's only gonna get more interesting from here on out." He turned on the radio and gave me a quick smile, which helped regain my composure for a second. I thought about how he did that on purpose, seeing me falter when he took his hand away. Like the smile was forced. My mood turned sour.
"What do you mean by that?" I inquired over Lady GaGa's "Pokerface", facing the window again, trying my best to focus on the green blurring my vision. The small talk and the speed we were going made me feel queasy.
"Do you not remember what just happened in Walmart?" He laughed, only making me feel worse.
I snuck a look back toward him, narrowing my eyes. "Well, yeah. That's what I meant by interesting. But what do you mean by it?"
"Things are going to change," he answered. "Kissing someone can be a pretty big deal, Eliza."
"You think it was a big deal?" I asked. It was an honest question that made my heartbeat flutter, waiting for the right words to come from his soft lips.
Kellin hesitated, and I closely watched his expression change as he thought it over. His eyebrows furrowing, those wide eyes blinking more often than usual, the way he bit his lip for more than a few seconds. I leaned back and tapped my knee with my fingers.
"I said can," he acknowledged. My stomach lost it's flip and dropped instead. I knew what he was going to say before he even said it. "I'm not sure if what we have right now is anything big, but I do know things will change, at least."
I nodded, making sure he noticed so we no longer had to talk about it. The one thing I worried about most was being led on, because I had been down that route dozens of times, and each time made me feel worse about myself. Like there were words written on my forehead that told every boy to "fuck around with me". If Kellin decided that that was the path to take, I had my brothers to back me up. Two of them, anyway. I wasn't too positive about Eric being there for me, or Eddie actually, who told me not to come to him when things blew up in my face. No one knew what was going to happen, except for Kellin. He was the one who controlled whatever we had going. His dominance was proven in the aisle when he backed me up. Sure, he asked for my permission to kiss me, but he hypnotized me first. Not literally, because that would've been totally awkward, but you get the picture. How to tell an attractive man who is partially your best friend, that he's not allowed to kiss you when he just dug his fingers into the most sensitive parts of your body, turning you on within seconds? How to go against what the human body intended?
It was clear to see that Kellin did want some part of me, but I was hoping my heart more than anything else. It was a bit early to tell, but I had gotten to know him so well over the past month that I knew there could be a big chance he had some feelings.
We pulled into Warped a few minutes later, dust and sand circling the Jeep. Scranton was packed, possibly the biggest crowd we had yet. My nerves were all jumbled as the car came to a stop next to Jeff's trailer. I threw open the door to hop out until a pull on my arm held me back.
I looked over at Kellin with raised brows.
"I'm sorry if I upset you. Let's have a good time tonight," he grinned and kissed the back of my hand, setting off goosebumps along my skin. "I'm so getting Jesse with the super soaker 300. Most badass and most likely to make the dude cry."
"You're so awful," I snorted and finally made it out into the boiling sun. It was good like this, I liked this. The car conversation was too stuffy for my taste, and now we were back to the goofy talk. We could make this work, I told myself. We could have a cute relationship. If only Kellin would let us.