Forbidden

I frowned as I heard someone sobbing quietly through the door. I hesitated for a second before I turned the handle and swung the door open.
Louis was sitting on the edge of his double bed, head in his hands as he cried. He didn't look up until I spoke.

"Louis..." I began, before trailing off. I had no idea what to say. He continued to cry, gulping as he struggled to catch his breath. Finally, he lifted his head.
"I'm sorry, okay? I was a prick to you in Barcelona. And I've been stupid this whole summer. I don't know why I couldn't commit. Maybe I was scared that our friendship would be ruined, and if we broke up I'd lose you. But now I've been a prick and done that anyway." he sighed, before sighing.
"I'm sorry about everything." He paused for a second, and his eyes were burning into mine.

"But do you have any idea how much it hurt me to see you go off with that guy? And to see you, in bed, with my best friend. And then some police officers, who've never even met you before know more about what's going on in your life than I do. I'm in love with you, and you just - you hate me. That kills me." He told me. He'd stopped crying now, and he wiped away the stray tears on his face roughly.

"I don't hate you."I whispered.
"Maybe I hate the way you've treated me, but I could never, ever hate you." I told him, taking a few steps forward and sitting next to him on the bed.
"Which is why nothing will ever happen between Harry and I. And those police officers don't know anything about me." I paused for a second as tears began to well up in my eyes.
"I'm so sorry about that guy. I don't know what I was thinking, leaving the club with him. I was so stupid. And that's why the police were there." I admitted. Louis looked at me in confusion.

"They said it was about an attack." He frowned. I didn't say anything for a second, instead nodding in regret.
"I went outside with him. I mean, you've seen the pictures, you know what happened. But then, I changed my mind, I didn't want anything to go any further." I paused for a second, trying to stop myself from crying. It was so embarrassing that I fell apart every time I told the story.
By now, Louis had moved closer, clasping onto my free hand as I wiped my eyes with the other.

"Long story short - he made sure that it did." I told him, trying to appear jokey and lighthearted, although the fact was that I was crying hysterically by now.

Louis pulled me in for a hug, and I didn't think he was really reacting for a second, until I pulled away and realized that there were tears in his eyes.
"Millie.....I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I should never have let you leave with him. And then I was such a twat about it afterwards. I.....can you even forgive me after that?" he asked quietly. I nodded, quickly wiping my nose.

"Louis it's fine, I'm fine. The police came to say that they found him and he's admitted to it. We can all just move on." I told him, attempting to smile, but I was still crying so my forced laugh came out as a strangled cough.
"It's not okay. I'm going to kill the tosser." he told me, suddenly standing up with a fierce look on his face. This time I actually laughed.

"Lou, no one's killing anyone. What he did was disgusting, and awful. But I just want to forget about it. That's why I didn't want to tell anyone. I didn't want people to treat me differently. I only told people because Liam, Niall and Zayn walked in on me and saw the bruises." I admitted.
"They all know?" he asked, and for a moment I was worried that he was angry at me for telling them instead of him.
I nodded anyway, knowing that there was no point in lying, he'd find out eventually. This time, Louis groaned, putting his head in his hands.

"Oh God, no matter Liam hates me so much. They must all think I'm such a prick." he exclaimed. I pulled his head out of his hands to look at him properly.
"You didn't know. Besides, it's over now. Everyone knows, it's out in the open." I told him, and I found that I was slightly relieved that I wouldn't have to carry on lying to everybody all the time.
We were silent for a second before Louis spoke.

"Did it hurt?" he asked me. I didn't answer, instead just pulling up my top to reveal the bruises that were still there two weeks later. Louis breathed in sharply, cringing at the site of the black crescent moons etched into my sides.

"Can I...?" he asked softly. I nodded, surprising myself. I hadn't let anyone aside from the doctor touch the bruises, even my Mum.

"Louis?" I asked him after a few moments.
"Yeah?" he asked, looking up at me, as he stopped tracing the marks.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this." I told him.

He didn't reply, instead hugging me.

We walked outside about an hour later to find a note from Harry left on the table.

I thought I should leave you guys for a bit, so I've gone to Niall's to give you some privacy.

I smiled at the note. Harry had been so sweet about the whole thing.
"Anyway, that's the reason I stayed here last night. I completely freaked out, thinking there was someone in the flat with me, got a knife out to defend myself, before realizing that there was no one there. I came here, Harry made me tell him everything because I was completely hysterical, and let me stay the night. I think he got in the bed because he was worried about me." I told Louis with a smile. He grinned at the thought of his best friend. We sat on the sofa in silence for a second before Louis spoke.

"So where does this leave us?" he asked me. I looked at him, slightly surprised. I hadn't even thought about it, presuming that he just wanted to be friends, like he'd said before.
"I thought you anted to be just friends." I told him, pausing for a second.

"And to be honest, I feel like that's right for us right now. I'm not ready to....you know, just yet, and I don't want to lead you on. I need some time by myself to figure out what I want." I told Louis softly as he grabbed my hand and began playing with my fingers. After a second he nodded.

"As much as I hate to admit it, that's probably for the best. Everything between us has been so intense, maybe it will be good for us to have some time to cool off." he admitted. We were silent for a second before Louis smiled.

"Are you excited for your birthday next week?" he asked me. I smiled excitedly.
"Very!" I squealed. Louis laughed, still holding onto my hand.

"I'm so glad that things aren't awkward between us."