Forbidden

I regretted it the moment the words left my mouth. I sat, frozen in place, watching Louis who was as still as a statue. "What?" he asked, his voice slightly coarse.
"I - I don't know" I told him, still shocked at myself.
"Did you just say you loved me?" he asked, yet to move from the position he'd been standing in when I'd first spoken.
"I - I don't know. Yes, maybe." I said, hanging my head instead of looking at him.

"What does this mean?" he asked, his bright eyes burning holes in the side of my head.

"I don't know what it means. We're friends, I don't want things to be awkward like they were before. Plus you have a girlfriend and I only just got out of a relationship." I told him, finally looking him in the face. That beautiful face of his...
"What if I loved you too?" he asked, taking a step closer to the bed.
I gulped, "Are you saying you do?" I asked, trying not to get my hopes up too much.

"I don't know, what would happen if I did say that?" he asked and I sighed.
"You don't love me Louis, you can't say it to me right now and you probably never will be able to." I told him, turning over on my side to face the wall before I let any tears fall. It was a full minute before I heard him move and the door closed.

I woke up the next morning to a knock at the door. "Who is it?" I croaked, praying that it wouldn't be Louis.
"It's Liam" a voice came from outside.
"Urghh, it's too early." I told him, resisting the urge to wrap my pillow round my head and drown out the noise.
"It's midday and I'm taking you out for lunch" he said. I could tell from his tone of voice that he was smirking.
"Piss off." I muttered, listening as he chuckled to himself.

"If I say yes will you stop annoying me?" I asked after a moments silence.
"OK." Liam said from outside as I jumped out of bed and attempted to get ready.
I felt humiliated. I'd completely embarrassed myself last night. I severely doubted that Louis would ever come near me again, despite what he'd said last night.
He'd attempted to say he liked me too, but when it came down to it, he could never bring himself to fight for me.

I arrived downstairs to find Liam waiting by the door, checking his watch impatiently. "Ready?" he asked once he'd seen me and I nodded, quickly making my way out of the door in an effort to avoid the boys' stares.
The ride to the restaurant had been extremely awkward. I was pretty sure that Liam hadn't heard anything about last night, but nevertheless spent my time worrying that he had, and was waiting to blow up on me. Meanwhile, Liam seemed unsure of what to say to me, as months of time apart had taken it's toll, and I wasn't sure what we had in common any more, besides a surname and DNA.

"So..." he said slowly once we'd been seated at the small restaurant. "Have you been here before?" he asked me as I tapped my fingers on the table as we waited for our orders to be taken.
"Nope, I've been busy studying recently so I haven't had the chance." I told him.
"Oh, that's right. How did the exams go?" he asked, and I smiled lightly.

"Not that great. I don't know if I'm going to get in anywhere." I told him unhappily. I'd had my heart set on Sussex university since I was little, but the grades I needed to get in were extremely high, so until I got my results I had no way of knowing whether I'd been accepted.
"Well you can always come on tour with me." he laughed and I gave a small smile.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked bluntly and he sighed.
"I wanted to know what happened with you and James. Mum's really worried that he did something to you, and I don't know what he's capable of. I just wanted to know if you're okay." he told me quietly.

"Liam, he didn't hit me, if that's what you mean. He cheated on me, with Jessica Taylor from the year below." I told him, forcing myself not to get upset and cry. Telling him seemed to bring it all back to me and it was almost as bad as when I found out.
"Millie, oh my god. Are you okay?" he asked after a moments silence in which he looked shocked.
"No, but feel free to say I told you so. You warned me that he wasn't right but I thought I was smarter than you. I guess it's karma or something." I said bitterly, waiting for someone to laugh in my face for being so stupid.

"I'm not going to say I told you so. You haven't done anything wrong and I probably haven't helped things by telling you not to go out with him, which made you want to prove me wrong. Just listen next time when I say someone isn't good enough for you." he laughed and I tried to smile along with him as something he'd said to me before rang in my ears.

"Don't fall for any of the guys." Liam's voice said, circling my brain before settling uncomfortably in my stomach.
"So we're friends again?" he asked, watching as I gulped my drink down. "Of course." I told him, trying to forget about the whole thing.
Technically, I had broken Liam's promise, but I hadn't acted on my feelings. At least, not as much as I would have liked to.

I brushed the thought away, instead trying - and eventually succeeding- in enjoying the lunch spent with my brother. In fact, Liam and I were contemplating extending our bonding time and going shopping together when his phone rang. "It's mum." he told me once he'd pulled his phone out of his pocket.

I watched in confusion as Liam's calm expression quickly turned to one of horror, and I heard muffled shouting from the other end of the phone.
"What is it?" I mouthed to Liam who held up his finger as a signal for me to wait for a minute.
"Mum, it wasn't planned. Yes, everything has been cleaned up.There isn't any damage anyway, but I would pay for it if there was."" he said as I wondered what it was about. Eventually he hung up, putting the phone in his pocket and turning to me with a murderous expression on his face.

"Harry tweeted a picture of the party last night." he told me, grabbing his keys and walking out of the restaurant whilst I struggled to keep up.
"Oh my god, what did she say?" I asked and Liam turned in his seat to face me.
"She's gone ballistic, the picture is of you downing shots as you stand up on the kitchen counter." he told me and I began to seethe.
How stupid could that curly haired boy be?

"Is it just one photo? How much trouble am I in?" I asked quickly, waiting for him to speak as he pulled out of the parking space.
"Only one photo, but mum is really angry. She said she'll tell you your punishment when she gets home tomorrow." he told me.

The moment Liam pulled up in front of my house I ran to the door, storming inside and charging around the house in an effort to find him.
"HARRY STYLES I'M GOING TO KILL YOU." I shouted, throwing open the doors to everybody's bedrooms to look for him.

Eventually I found him cowering at the end of Niall's bed, "I didn't mean to do it." he squeaked as I walked towards him threateningly.
"You didn't mean to tweet a picture of me downing shots when you know I'm under-age and my mum would hit the roof?" I asked him, my voice low.

"What? Oh, that. Yeah, I just thought that would be fun." he told me, frowning in confusion before he realized what I was talking about.
"Wait, what are you talking about then?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I dunno what you're talking about." he told me simply before turning back to Niall who had a clearly guilty expression on his face.
"Harry Styles, tell me what you have done, or I will quite simply end you." I threatened him, but again he smirked, offering a shrug.
Knowing I couldn't break him, I turned to the weaker of the two, placing my face right by Niall's and whispering sweetly.

"Niall, beautiful little Niall, are you going to tell me what the pair of you have done, or am I going to have to force you?" I asked him, making sure to keep my voice sugar sweet. The terrified look on his face almost made me laugh and stop what I was doing but I wanted to know exactly what they had done, and why they were so worried that I'd found out.

"Um..." he began, and I sensed his hesitation as Harry glared daggers at him. "Niall, it's me, Millie. I promise I won't get angry. At least at you." I added, glancing over at the more mischievous of the two with furtive eyes.

"Fine." Niall gave in, seeming relieved that he had the chance to get his secret off of his chest. "Louis told us what happened last night, but he didn't believe that you love him. He thought it was just because you were drunk. So we told him what we thought." Niall said quickly, rushing his words in an effort to get it over with.

"You did what?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice as I knew Liam was downstairs. "What did you tell him?" I asked them furiously.
"We just said about how you're insanely jealous of Eleanor, and you almost confessed to us that you like him." Harry said, trying to join in with being honest, in the hope that I wouldn't be angry at him.

"You are such an idiot. Although, thankfully, I already told him all that last night and he didn't care then so why would he now." I told the pair, sitting down heavily on the edge of the bed.
"I wouldn't say he didn't care" Niall said quietly, looking at me with a pained expression on his face.

"He didn't say he loved me back, and then he left. It doesn't take a genius to work out that he doesn't give a shit." I said bitterly as Harry moved forward to wrap an awkward arm around me.
"He probably just didn't want to upset you any more than you already are. He knows that you just broke up with a guy, and he wouldn't want to take advantage of you." he said comfortingly.

"Well that pile of bullshit roughly translates to: he has a girlfriend who is insanely hot and infinitely better than you." I said quietly.
"Hey, I would marry you, if Liam ever let me, which is unlikely. You're so much fun, and you're pretty." Harry said and Niall joined in.
"And you eat loads." he added which made me laugh lightly. "Thank you guys." I told them before standing up and walking outside.

"I'm just going out for a bit, I'll see you later." I told them before making my way to my bedroom.