Status: finished
Stead fast to razor blade symphony
stead fast to razor blade symphony
stead fast to razor blade symphony
Andy—
"andy why are you cutting yourself?" Ashley screams at me.
We are in my bedroom, at my house. my parents weren't here. Hell if they ever were.
"because, ash it's my fault..." I trail off.
"GOD DAMN IT ANDY! it's not your fault! how many times do I have to repeat this?!" he yells.
"I'm sorry." I say. he sighs. a tear skids down his cheek. In my 13 years of knowing Ashley, he never cryed. Not even once. and now that he is it's my fault.
he walks away. he's mad. he probably won't love me. I mean I don't blame him. I wouldn't love me either. who can? I sit and cry. I go back to texting sammi.
"what happened?" she asks.
"my heartbreak, that's what happened."
"OMG WHAT HAPPENED?!" she asks again.
"he's mad. hes cried." I explain the whole crying bit to her.
"look I got to go but talk to you tomorrow. open up to ash, do as I say. fix it." she tells me.
"goodnight andy."
"night"
I knock on the washroom door lightly. No answer.
"Ashley please let me talk to you." I plead.
"no. I'm sure you have some cutting to do though." he says.
that hurt. ok, it did more than hurt. It pretty much, stabbed me 37 times in the chest, tore out my heart, and left me there to bleed. A single tear falls down my eye.
"fine if you want me to, I'll go do that right now." I say. honestly shocked at how strong my voice was. I almost expected him to open the door and tell me not to do it. but he didn't.
Where does this put us though? I guess it means we're broken up. I mean if he doesn't care about me anymore. I guess he didn't love me as much as I thought he did. That's not really shocking, though it did really hurt.
at this point I can hardly breathe. I pull out an envelope, some paper and a pen. on the paper I wrote;
dear Ashley,
I know you don't love me anymore. I mean, can I blame you? I wouldn't love me either. but weather you like it or not, I'll always love you. you'll always hold my heart. and I'm just assuming, we're broken up now. it kills but if it's what you want then so be it.
Also ash, this means it is yet another person I lost and it is all my fault. I'm sorry I didnt talk to you about it. I just felt needy and stupid. Plus, I felt like I deserved to be punished for it. hell, I still do. but this is the ultimate punishment. losing you. my life, my heart, my Ashley. well not my Ashley anymore but oh well.
Love always Andrew
I then place the promise ring into the envelope. sending with it the last promise I had in my life. I now have no idea what I'm doing in this world.
Andy—
"andy why are you cutting yourself?" Ashley screams at me.
We are in my bedroom, at my house. my parents weren't here. Hell if they ever were.
"because, ash it's my fault..." I trail off.
"GOD DAMN IT ANDY! it's not your fault! how many times do I have to repeat this?!" he yells.
"I'm sorry." I say. he sighs. a tear skids down his cheek. In my 13 years of knowing Ashley, he never cryed. Not even once. and now that he is it's my fault.
he walks away. he's mad. he probably won't love me. I mean I don't blame him. I wouldn't love me either. who can? I sit and cry. I go back to texting sammi.
"what happened?" she asks.
"my heartbreak, that's what happened."
"OMG WHAT HAPPENED?!" she asks again.
"he's mad. hes cried." I explain the whole crying bit to her.
"look I got to go but talk to you tomorrow. open up to ash, do as I say. fix it." she tells me.
"goodnight andy."
"night"
I knock on the washroom door lightly. No answer.
"Ashley please let me talk to you." I plead.
"no. I'm sure you have some cutting to do though." he says.
that hurt. ok, it did more than hurt. It pretty much, stabbed me 37 times in the chest, tore out my heart, and left me there to bleed. A single tear falls down my eye.
"fine if you want me to, I'll go do that right now." I say. honestly shocked at how strong my voice was. I almost expected him to open the door and tell me not to do it. but he didn't.
Where does this put us though? I guess it means we're broken up. I mean if he doesn't care about me anymore. I guess he didn't love me as much as I thought he did. That's not really shocking, though it did really hurt.
at this point I can hardly breathe. I pull out an envelope, some paper and a pen. on the paper I wrote;
dear Ashley,
I know you don't love me anymore. I mean, can I blame you? I wouldn't love me either. but weather you like it or not, I'll always love you. you'll always hold my heart. and I'm just assuming, we're broken up now. it kills but if it's what you want then so be it.
Also ash, this means it is yet another person I lost and it is all my fault. I'm sorry I didnt talk to you about it. I just felt needy and stupid. Plus, I felt like I deserved to be punished for it. hell, I still do. but this is the ultimate punishment. losing you. my life, my heart, my Ashley. well not my Ashley anymore but oh well.
Love always Andrew
I then place the promise ring into the envelope. sending with it the last promise I had in my life. I now have no idea what I'm doing in this world.
♠ ♠ ♠
this is based I a true story, what happened tonight. it is 100%true, Except the named are different. it's like I'm andy and ash is ash. being human sucks in the worst ways.