Everything You Want

“John, look!”

John didn’t have to look at the glittering ring on the fourth finger of Roxie’s outstretched left hand to know what she was talking about. Seeing the joy on her face alone was enough for him to know the truth. In fact he’d been waiting for this day for a while. He’d hoped it wouldn’t come but he knew he couldn’t stop it from happening.

John tried to tell her congratulations but he couldn’t form any words. Roxie didn’t seem to notice though. She just went right on with her celebration.

“Kale proposed last night and I honestly still can’t believe it. I’m just so excited. I always thought I’d end up the lonely old hag or the crazy cat lady but then Kale came along and he changed everything. He’s perfect John, just perfect.”

“That’s…” John paused to clear his throat before continuing. “That’s great Rox, I’m happy for you.”
Roxie smiled up at her best friend. “Thanks John, I’m glad. I mean you’re the first person I’ve told besides my parents and I’m glad you approve. I’d hate if my best friend hated my boyfriend…I mean my fiancé. Wow, that’s going to take some getting used to.”

John gave a forced chuckle. “Yeah, it will. I can’t really picture you in a wedding dress. To me you’ll always be twelve-year old Roxie yelling at me for cutting off her ponytail in seventh grade math class.”

“I’m still mad at you for that,” Roxie glared. “I looked like a boy for months until my hair grew out.”

“Well, you made a very cute boy.”

Roxie rolled her eyes before once again bringing up the subject of her wedding. “J, I know this is a weird question to ask but would you be my man of honor?”

“Man of honor?”

“Yeah, I know you’re a guy and the maid of honor is usually a girl but you’re my best friend and I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have standing up there with me.”

John closed his eyes as he thought about how hard it’d be to stand next to Roxie and watch her marry Kale but he knew there was no way he could let her down. She was one of the few people who’d always been there for him and who’d always believed in him. There was no way he was going to deny her request just because it would cause him pain.

“Of course Rox, I’d love to be your man of honor,” John forced a smile.

“Thank you so much, John. You have no clue how much this means to me,” Roxie said as she threw her arms around her best friend. John hugged her back as he tried to convince himself to be strong for Roxie and not let his true feelings show.



“Hey John, what are you doing?”

John heard Roxie’s voice come through from the other end of the phone. He could tell she was trying to be strong but he could hear the subtle shake in her voice. “I’m just hanging out with Jared. Why?”

“Oh, nothing… I mean it is something but since you’re hanging out with Jared it’s okay.”

“Roxie, seriously, what’s wrong?”

Roxie gave a sigh before finally saying, “My wedding dress. I’m having second thoughts about it and I’m not sure Kale will like it so I need a guy’s opinion.”

“Ok, I’ll leave Jared’s house and meet you at the dress shop in half an hour.”

“You can bring Jared if he wants to come. I’ll take as many opinions as possible.”

“Ok, we’ll see you soon. And Rox, it will be fine, I promise,” John said as he tried to reassure her.
Jared had heard the conversation and just gave John a look. “You are seriously a masochist.”

“She needs help Jare, and I’m her man of honor. What am I supposed to do? Just ditch her?”

“If it means saving yourself from heartbreak, then yes,” Jared argued.

“Well it’s too late now. I already promised Roxie we’d be there so let’s go.”

Jared didn’t say anything else and just followed John to his truck but John knew Jared’s opinion on the matter. All of John’s friends thought he was only hurting himself by being Roxie’s man of honor and constantly helping her with wedding plans but John just wanted her to be happy; and Kale obviously made her happy.

John and Jared parked the truck and walked into the bridal store. As soon as Roxie saw them she ran up to them and it was obvious that she’d been crying.

“Thank you guys so much for coming. I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do. I mean I woke up last night and started worrying that my dress was ugly or Kale wouldn’t like it. What am I going to do? I only have a month until my wedding. One month! I can’t get a new dress in that amount of time but I can’t wear an ugly dress either,” Roxie rambled.

“Roxie,” John said, finally getting her to stop talking. “It will be okay. Go try on your dress so Jared and I can tell you what we think.”

Roxie nodded before walking back towards the dressing rooms. A few minutes later she emerged in a white dress that was formfitting in the torso but then flowed out into an A-line at the hips. John felt as if all the air had left his lungs; he couldn’t breathe. The dress was perfect. It wasn’t too tight or too big. The dress was absolutely perfect and Roxie looked amazing in it.

“You guys hate it. That’s why you’re not saying anything,” Roxie said with tears in her eyes.

“No,” John quickly shook his head. “Rox, you look…you….ummm…you look stunning.”

“Do you think Kale will like it?”

“He’ll love it.”

Roxie breathed a sigh of relief and threw her arms around John. “Thank you so much for reassuring me that the dress is fine. I’m sorry that I had a mini panic attack.”

“Of course Roxie, I’ll always be here for you, you know that.”

“I’m going to go change then the three of us can go grab lunch, okay?”

John waited until Roxie was back in the dressing room and out of earshot before he turned to Jared and said, “I can’t be in here. I can’t standing seeing her in that dress and know she’s wearing it for someone else. I’m going outside.”

Jared nodded in understanding and gave John a sympathetic pat on the back.

Roxie came back a few minutes later and looked around the bridal salon with a confused look on her face.

“Where’s John?” she turned towards Jared and asked.

“Oh…he needed a smoke break,” Jared quickly said.

“Ok. Well let’s go, I’m starving,” Roxie said as she walked outside. As soon as she saw John she walked up to him. “Hey, are you alright?”

John quickly nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed a cigarette and figured they wouldn’t appreciate me smoking in there.”

“Ok, just checking,” Roxie smiled before reaching up and pulling the cigarette from his mouth. John gave her a weird look but she just smirked as she said, “I don’t want my best friend dying of lung cancer, do I? I’ll meet you guys at the diner.”

Roxie walked towards her car as Jared and John walked towards John’s. As soon as they were inside the truck John turned towards Jared and said, “Right now dying would be better than this.”



“Foxy Roxie!” Eric Halvorsen yelled as Roxie walked into John’s house. Tonight was her bachelorette party with the guys. John insisted she have two: one with her female bridesmaids and other girl friends and then one with the guys since she hung out with them a lot also. Roxie knew there wouldn’t be any strippers at this one but there would definitely be more alcohol.

“Hey Halvo. How are you?” Roxie chuckled at the hyper boy.

“Excited for tonight. We’re all going get so wasted. By the way, do you want your lap dance from me now or later?”

“How about never.”

“Didn’t you hear though? I’m your stripper for tonight.”

“Thanks but I think I’ll pass, Halvo.”

“Suit yourself,” Halvo shrugged.

Roxie rolled her eyes at the boy before turning around and finding herself face to face with John. As soon as she saw him she couldn’t help but smile. “Hey you.”

John smiled back. “Hey. So I think everyone’s here now. Are you ready to go?”

“Oh, I was born ready,” Roxie joked.

“Good because I plan on making sure you have the hangover from hell tomorrow.”

“Bring it.”

John kept good on his promise to make sure Roxie got very drunk. As much as John tired Roxie was still able to resist. She had to meet Kale for lunch the next day and didn’t want to show up hung-over. After her first couple drinks she gave the rest to the guys. Every time John would hand her a drink she would pass it off to Halvo or Kennedy which caused those two to become very drunk very fast.

Roxie smiled at John across the room as he tried to get a very drunk Halvo down from a table where he was currently dancing to “Bye Bye Bye” by NSYNC.

“You’re killing him, you know that, right?”

Roxie turned to see that Jared had sat down beside her. She gave him a confused look as his words sunk in. “What?”

“Come on, don’t tell me that you don’t know.”

“Don’t know what?”

Jared just gave a sarcastic laugh as he shook his head. “Never mind.”

“No Jared, tell me,” Roxie said as she started to get mad.

Jared sighed. “You’ve been so caught up in your wedding plans lately that you haven’t noticed some people are really hurting. Your best friend in particular.”

“John’s hurting? Why?”

“I’ve already said too much but maybe you should open your eyes once in a while, Roxanne.”

“Don’t use my full name,” Roxie snapped before continuing. “And why are you being so vague. I didn’t realize alcohol made you so deep and mysterious.”

“Just think about what I’ve said…really think about it,” Jared said before getting up and walking away.

Roxie groaned as she put her head in her hands.

“Hey Rox? I think we better go before Halvo gets kicked out,” John said as he came up behind her.

Roxie looked carefully at John as she tried to figure out what Jared meant. She didn’t notice anything different though so she just nodded. “Ok, let’s go.”

John and Roxie got everyone home safely before pulling up to Roxie’s house. They both got out of John’s truck and sat on the tailgate of it while talking, just like they used to throughout high school.

“So this is your last week as a single woman…” John started.

“Yeah, it’s kind of weird knowing this time next week I’ll be Mrs. Parker,” Roxie said. “Oh, I forgot to ask…who’s your plus one to the wedding?”

“My plus one? As in my date for the wedding? No one.”

“What? You always have a plus one. Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve always seemed to have someone.”

“Well, not this time.”

“Why not?” Roxie questioned.

John paused before finally sighing. “Because Roxie, I love you.”

“What? You’re…you’re in love with me? John, you’re drunk,” Roxie said as she tried to awkwardly laugh it off.

“I only had two beers Roxie, I’m not drunk. I’m serious when I say I love you and it’s killing me to just sit here and watch you marry Kale.”

“What the fuck?! Do you know how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words? Forever, John. I’ve been in love with you forever but you never saw me as more than a friend so I moved on.”

“Rox, I’ve been in love with you since high school.”

“So why didn’t you do anything about it?” Roxie screamed as her anger overtook her. “Instead you wait until one week before my wedding? One fucking week?”

“Do you love Kale?” John asked.

“Kale’s perfect, John. He’s everything I’ve always wanted.”

“That didn’t answer my question.”

“Fuck you, John. Of course I love him. I wouldn’t be marrying him if I didn’t.”

“Roxie,” John pleaded. “Please don’t marry him. You may love him but I know you love me more. We’d be better together. Please.”

Roxie stared at John as she just shook her head. “It’s too late, John, you had your chance. You had years to tell me you loved me and now it’s too late.”

“You’ll regret it if you marry him.”

“Fuck you, O’Callaghan. It’s time for you to go,” Roxie spat as she walked into her house and slammed the door. As soon as she was safely inside she sunk to the floor and cried, not nearly as excited for her wedding as she had been hours earlier.



Roxie took a deep breath as she looked in the mirror. It was her wedding day and everyone kept telling her how gorgeous she looked but she felt numb. She hadn’t talked to John all week and wasn’t even sure if he was going to show up for the wedding. Even though she hadn’t seen or talked to her best friend, his words had been running through her head nonstop.

It was finally time for Roxie to walk down the aisle and she grabbed onto her father for support. She saw Kale smiling at the end of the aisle and she smiled back but it was forced. She also saw John standing at his place for man of honor. He only looked at her for a second but it was enough for her to see the hurt and heartbreak in his eyes.

Roxie made it to Kale’s side and heard him whisper that she looked beautiful and he loved her but she couldn’t respond.

The preacher began the ceremony but Roxie barely heard a word he said, she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts.

“If anyone has any reasons this man and woman should not get married speak now or forever hold your peace,” the preacher said and Roxie jolted to attention. She prayed John would say something but he stayed silent so the preacher continued. “Since there are no objections it is time for the vows…”

“Wait!” Roxie suddenly called out surprising everyone, including herself. Everyone in the church turned to look at her and she blushed but forged ahead. “Kale…I’m so sorry but I…I can’t do this. You’re perfect and everything I thought I wanted but honestly I’m not in love with you. I don’t need perfection. I’m so sorry. Someday you’ll find the girl for you.”

Roxie didn’t wait to hear his response or see anyone’s reaction. She ran out of the church as fast as she could and out into the parking lot.

“Roxie! Wait up!”

Roxie stopped as soon as she heard John’s voice and turned around to wait on him.

“What was that in there?” John asked.

“What do you mean what was that? I couldn’t do it, John. I couldn’t marry Kale because I’m in love with you.”

“You are?” John asked hopefully.

“Of course I am! I wouldn’t fuck up my own wedding for no reason.”

John smiled and wrapped Roxie in his arms. “I know you said that Kale was perfect and everything you wanted but I promise to be everything you need for the rest of our lives because there is no way I’m ever letting you go.”

Roxie knew John would keep that promise.