Cherub

I’ve always believed that most things happen for a reason. There was a reason I was born the way I was and there was a reason that I slipped and fell that day in the grocery store. It had all led to that day, to that single moment and that single moment I knew would lead to another. I looked upon the stack of suitcases I fondly thought of as my makeshift dresser. It seemed so symbolic now that for a decade I had kept my entire wardrobe in suitcases. I guess it was predestined for me to leave someday. Kristofferson sat crossed legged on my bed looking over a large map of the U.S. that I had found in our library. “So, have you thought about where you’re wantin’ to end up?” I realized that I had not. “You know, I haven’t thought about it. I suppose wherever I end up is where I’m supposed to be at that point in time.”

I took my slightly rusted alarm clock and glass lamp off of the top of the stack and began to separate the cases. “ I do know that I’d like to get west, maybe see the desert.” I put my task to the side for a moment and lazily walked over to sit next to Kristofferson on my bed. I was awful surprised when I opened the door to see him standing there. My mother had left only a short while ago in our rusted old covered pickup and I thought she might have left something. I don’t think Kristofferson and I necessarily started off on the right foot but I felt that we were friends now. I was glad to finally have a friend who wasn’t a cat or my mother. “What about you Kristofferson?“ He continued to look at the map laid out in front of him. “Well, I suppose I’m not partial to no place, what matters iiiis that I’ll finally be able to move on with my long term goals really.” I laid on my stomach with my legs bent and my head propped up on my fists. “ Goals, huh? You mean like dreams and stuff.” He turned his gaze from the map to me. “ That’s one way of putting it. I want to open up my own record store someday. What about you? Don’t you have any aspirations?” I looked up his face. The light cast a dramatic shadow over the bridge of his straight nose and made his green eyes look like sea glass. “I’ve always wanted to be a writer, ever since I was little but my mother says that fine literature isn’t appreciated like it used to be.” He snorted and looked back to the map, “Well, what was that for, huh?” I smiled. “He turned back to me, a serious look painted on his face. “ I just don’t think she should have shot you down like that. Shouldn’t parents encourage their children when it comes to things like dreamin’?” I laid my head over my arms. “Well, she has been alive a lot longer than you and me… I suppose she would know better than you or I.” He leaned back on his hands and the bed creaked. “Say, how old are you anyways little gal?” I raised an eyebrow in response to the title he had given me. “Eighteen, what about you?” He let out a sigh. It was almost as if he was relieved. He ran a hand through his long brown hair. “Turned twenty just a few weeks ago.” I sat up, the bed creaked again. “You’re too young to be so sad you know!” He turned to me with a surprised look and let out a tangerine laugh that echoed throughout the room. “You’re a trip little gal, you know that?” I frowned, “Heeey, you’re only two years older than-“ He interrupted, “Yeah, yeah, let’s get this show on the road, come on, I’ll help you with your things.”

We began trips back and forth, loading various suitcases and all the things I’d hidden under my bed along with some things we found around the house that might have been helpful such as a box of matches and some cookware. Before I left I made sure to write mother a note. It read. “I know you want what’s best for me but sometimes what’s best for you isn’t what’s going to keep you happy. I’m not sure if I’m coming back but I’ll keep in touch. Love always, Cherub.” It may have not been the longest goodbye note but I thought it best that I keep it short, concise, and from the heart. Erwin meowed and rubbed against my legs. “I’m sorry buddy, I can’t take you with me… You have to stay okay. Someone has to make sure mom’s okay.” I was glad he was just as comfortable hunting outside as he was lazing on top of the furniture. I made sure to leave a faucet on for him. I was able to leave knowing he wouldn’t starve or die of thirst during the week that my mother would be in New York. I turned off all the lights of my childhood home and headed towards the shed. I opened the door. The moonlight cast a single beam of light into the wide room. Sitting on the table right where my mother left it was my little lifeless replica. I wrapped her in a small sheet and placed her in a spare carrying case and closed the door for the last time. As I lead myself through the long grass of the front yard, I saw Kristofferson leaning against the passenger door of his black Challenger, arms crossed. I couldn’t read his expression. I silently walked over and wrapped my arms around his stomach seeing as he was around a foot or so taller than me. He stiffened and then slowly wrapped his arms around my shoulders. We shared an embrace under the stars and the moon. “Now, come on little gal,” He whispered. “It’ll all be alright.” He proceeded to open the car door for me. After we both got it in and I gazed at my home for the last time, we rode off into the night.