Suicidal Confessions

Standing backstage I watched Escape The Fate play, it was the first time I had seen them and I knew my eyes were wide – watching everything they did. They ran around dodging each other and avoiding wires, they were in perfect sync. Constantly moving I had yet to see someone fall or smack into someone and to say I was jealous was an understatement. I couldn’t even count how many times Hayden and Beau had run into each other on this tour alone. I watched as TJ and Monte jumped around but always returned to a microphone just in time for their part – even if it wasn’t their microphone – I was lucky in Beau even screamed half of the song. Ok I admit it I am extremely jealous and I hope that one day my band will get in sync, but first Hayden and Beau need to get over themselves.

The stage turned black as the lights cut out, a spotlight highlighted Craigs sweaty, tired but all round ecstatic form. After throwing water all over the crowd he bought the microphone up to his lips and began to speak.

“During this tour we have made a bunch of good friends. Suicidal Confessions being one of them, turns out TJ is Draken’s bitch-“ Craig was cut off by TJ yelling about how he is no one’s bitch if anything I was his bitch which we all knew was a lie.

“As I was saying, Draken and I have gotten close and wrote a song together which will be on their next album and we are about to give you a sneak peak. Everyone give a warm welcome to DRAKEN!”

Running on stage I shoved TJ’s shoulder as I passed nearly making him lose his balance which cause me to laugh, I stopped next to Craig and smiled at the crowd. Craig swung his arm over my shoulders and I put my hand around his waist. I got a weird feeling in my stomach, kind of nauseous and my heart speed up like it does when I get nervous but why am I nervous? I got over stage right years ago before I could over think it Craig began singing.

‘You’ve got me shaking from the way you’re talking...”

The stage turned black as the music faded out before flicking back on lighting up the stage, even though I was panting and totally out of breath from running around I was ecstatic. I never thought I would be standing on stage with Escape the Fate, I wasn’t their biggest fan but in the last month I had come to love not only the guys but also their music but I would never admit that to them, I would never heard the end of it.

“SO DID YOU GUYS LIKE IT?!” that earned us a scream from the crowd.

“We are going back into the studio after this tour for a month and our album should be out around November and I want everyone to go out and buy it!” I said before walking off stage and handing my microphone to the guy.

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We didn’t have to be at the next location for two days so that meant we were having a party tonight and would start driving first thing in the morning, which gave the guys a day to get over their hang overs. I never had those problems. This was also one of the last times they could party because Phoebe is flying out when we get to the next location and she is staying for a week, which means no partying for us.

Looking over myself in the mirror I smiled. I wasn’t very confident in myself but for once I was happy with my appearance…well as happy as I could get with my appearance. I was wearing an oversized red and black blessthefall singlet which had slits down the side to my hips showing off my arm and stomach tattoos and you could see my cheetah print bra. My short legs were covered in tight black jeans and to finish it off I had bright red platform heels which matched my red lipstick and smokey eyes.

I walked to the front of the bus meeting up with the Motionless in White guys and offcourse my band; they had already started drinking and were just waiting for me before joining the rest of the tour outside. Hearing my heels click they all looked up and everyone was silent for a second.

“Who are you fucking tonight?!” Chris said loudly breaking the awkward silence but only causing a more awkward silence.

“What?”

“Why are you all dressed up?”

“I’m not?” I asked confused looking over myself; I thought I looked like I normally did.

“Your hair and makeup are perfect, your boobs are on show and those are you tightest jeans and highest heels. You’re trying to impress someone” Jaysin listed off looking me up and down.

“Shut up, can we just leave” after that everyone got up and left the bus me close behind locking the door behind us. As soon as I turned around I realised I had already lost everyone.

I couldn’t really see anyone I spoke to and I'm not very good at making friends so instead of approaching people I approached the coolers and grabbed a monster. Someone had a stereo going and it was blasting A Day to Remember causing me to slightly sway in place. I was already over this, I could see multiple band dude drunk as hell and dragging a couple of groupies into their buses… I think I saw someone from Asking Alexandria drag a girl into the bushes, now that’s class. Note the sarcasm.

My thoughts were interrupted by a pair of tattooed arms wrapping around my waist from behind, jumping I felt my heart speed up and my breath was caught in my throat before I heard a familiar chuckle, Craig. Pulling away I turned around and slapped his arm.

“You’re a dick” now I was laughing as well. I hated being scared but for some reason it was ok when Craig did it, it made me feel alive. Wait! What did I just say? It makes me feel alive? No I can’t think like that!

“You love me” he joked wrapping his arms around me again this time me facing him, I rested against his firm chest and for once I was totally and utterly at ease and it felt good.