You End, I Begin

“Hey J, I’m just leaving work, I’ll see in about 20,” I said into my iPhone as I walked out of my office to my car.

“OK, babe, see you in a bit,” he said back.

The phone call was short but it was just how we were.

I met Jason almost a month ago. I had come back from Phoenix, where I had been visiting my mother and trying to keep a low profile there, and saw him in my apartment building. We didn’t speak, but something about him caught my eye. It may have been the fact that he was insanely tall, standing at a height of 6’ 5”, but I was drawn to him.

He was tall, he had light brown hair, striking blue eyes. He was beautiful.

The first time I saw him, I was tired and all I wanted to do was fall into my own bed, so I dragged my suitcase through the door and pressed the button for the lift. He was stood collecting his mail a few feet away, we glanced at each other and he threw me a small smile but that was it. Then over the next few days, we saw each other more times. We shared the lift together, he held the door for me and we started speaking, at first just ‘hello’ or ‘have a good day’ and then we introduced ourselves. It took a week and a half for him to ask me out on a date and I said yes straight away.

I was happy with him. He didn’t know about any of my past, he had never been there to see me when I was extremely shy and he also never met the wild and reckless version of me. He only knew the present me, and I liked that.

It had now been three weeks and I liked spending time with him. We hadn’t really decided if we were in a relationship, but I was fine with that and as far as I could tell Jason was too. He’d met my friends, I’d met his. I’d told him about losing my dad, but we weren’t at a stage where we were meeting family yet. There was one thing about this relationship that was missing, something that I never normally cared about. Sex. Usually, I’d sleep with a guy quite soon after meeting them, not because I was easy, just because to me sex wasn’t a big deal. But in this case, for some reason, I just wasn’t bothered about sleeping with Jason.

Roxy didn’t understand what happened between me and Joel for it to be over, but knew not to ask me about it too much, and I just didn’t really talk about it either. That was just how I was dealing with it.

I drove home and parked in my usual space and made my way into the building. Even though we lived in the same building, his apartment was far nicer than mine and he lived alone so we’d spend most our time together there. Once I got to his apartment, I knocked on the door and within a few seconds, he opened the door with a grin on his face.

“Hey babe,” he said, as I stepped closer and kissed his lips briefly, my lips breaking into a smile as I pulled away.

I walked further into his apartment and crashed out on his couch, which had already become a standard move for me here.

“Long day?” he asked.

“You could say,” I sighed. “Too much to do and not enough time to do it,” I told him.

“Want a drink to relax?” he asked, his voice soft and understanding. Jason worked in media as well, but he worked backstage at production studio so knew about dealing with people in the industry and I would admit he had it worse than I did.

He came back from the kitchen with two beers in his hand and passed one to me before sitting down next to me and throwing an arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his body.

“It’s your day off tomorrow, how about you come down to the studio? You can hang out, I get to see you and you can relax away from work for a bit,” he suggested.

“That sounds really good, thanks J,” I smiled, taking a sip of my drink.

“No worries, any excuse to see you more,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

We spend the rest of the night at his, drinking more, ordering take out and watching crappy TV. That was mine and Jason’s relationship so far. Even I would admit we were more like friends and a couple.

The next day, I woke up to an empty bed and the sound of a running shower and realised Jason had already got up. I left his bed, pulled on my skirt and top after sleeping in my underwear, grabbed my bag and walked out of his apartment. As I made my way to my own, I pulled out my phone and send Jason a quick text.

Morning babe, I’ve got to my place to shower and get ready, I’ll meet you back at yours once I’m ready. x

I knew he normally left for work about 8.30am and it was currently 7.20 so I had just over an hour to get ready.

I showered and quickly dried my long blonde hair, letting it fall naturally down my back. I did my usual make up routine and found some clothes to wear to the studio. I wasn’t sure what was going on today, so I thought I’d best look at least slightly smart but not like I worked there.

Within 40 minutes, I was back at Jason’s flat where he was cooking breakfast.

“Sit down, I’ve made enough for both of us,” he smiled.

“Thanks, you didn’t need to do that,” I said, taking a seat at his kitchen table. “So what’s going on at the studio today?”

“I’m not too sure really, I know there’s a few things going on, but I’m not sure which one I’m working on,” he told me, as he flipped pancakes.

“Any big stars coming in?” I asked, sarcastically, as we both knew ‘big stars’ were harder to work with.

“Not that I’m aware of!” he laughed.

A few minutes later, he put a plate in front of me filled with pancakes, bacon and egg.

“This looks amazing, thank you,” I told Jason.

“You’re welcome, need to start the day properly!”

Once we’d eaten and loaded the dishwasher, we walked out to his car and made our way to the studio.

“Right, once we get there, I’ll probably disappear for a bit but you can chill out in one of the rooms and help yourself to whatever, everyone else does,” he explained

“Really?”

“Yeah, the people that come in quite often bring others along, normally girlfriends or boyfriends and they end up eating and drinking more than the people that are supposed to be there that stuff actually for,” he said. “Bit cheeky but what can you do, huh?”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure I eat as much as I can so there’s less for them then!” I laughed.

“Why not, I don’t see why we have to put that stuff out for them anyway, you know?”

I knew he was only making small talk as we drove, but it was nice. I knew I could relax with Jason and it was always taken completely seriously.

On arriving at the studios, Jason parked the car and as we walked into the building, took my hand and led me in the right direction. I’d never been to his studios before and didn’t expect them to be this big. There were several building, each numbered, we walked into Studio 4, where there were already many people hanging around with clipboards and headsets.

“There’s a sort of green room down there, third door on the left, if you want to go chill for a bit,” Jason said. “I’ll come find you once I know what’s going on.”

“OK cool,” I nodded, as he bent down to kiss my cheek before striding off in the direction of someone with a headset.

I made my way to the room he had pointed out and walking inside, I could see what he meant about the food they had for the guests. I didn’t know how many people were due to be here, but there were endless snacks and drinks, whether it was healthy food or candy, it was all here. I began picking at a couple of things before crashing out on a sofa and pulling my phone out. I knew I was going to be bored quite a bit today if I was watching what was being filmed, so immediately began checking social websites, although nothing exciting was happening. Minutes passed and Jason hadn’t come to find me, so I got up and picked at some more food. I wasn’t really paying anything else in the room much attention, but when I heard the door open, I presumed it was Jason.

“I don’t think that food’s for you,” a familiar voice said.

Turning round with a frown on my face, I was greeted with the person I least expected to be here.

“Or you can carry on eating it anyway,” he said, a slight smile on his face.

“Joel? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” he shrugged. “I’m filming a new music video here with the guys today. You?”

“My boyfriend works at these studios, I’m here to watch really,” I explained.

“Ah, boyfriend,” he nodded.

“Yes,” I nodded back. “Is it going to bother you? I mean I can-”

“Abby?!” Alex shouted as he walked into the room, followed by his brother Sean. “Joel, you didn’t say you’d invited her!”

“That’s because I didn’t,” he stated flatly.

“OH,” Alex said, his mouth dropping open. “Then what are you doing here?” he asked, coming to give me a hug.

“I, erm, I’m here with my boyfriend, he works at these studios,” I explained again.

“Oh right,” Alex said, suddenly acting like he didn’t know what to do. Joel had already walked off and sat down on the couch as I made small talk with Sean and Alex, catching up on the last couple of months. I could see Joel in the corner of my eye, sat on the couch, with his phone in his hand, trying to ignore the rest of us.

“Abs,” Jason called, as he swung the door open and walked in the room. “I need to tell you who- Oh I guess you already know.”

“Yeah,” I looked at him with wide eyes to make sure he didn’t say another word. “Can we go outside and talk?” I asked and Jason nodded.

Once safely outside the room with the door shut behind us, I began to speak quietly so the guys inside couldn’t hear.

“So I guess that’s your ex in there then,” Jason stated. “I’m really sorry, I honestly didn’t know they were coming here today, otherwise I would never suggested it, seriously babe.”

“No, don’t worry, Jason, I’m not blaming you,” I told him. “I trust you. It’s just my dumb luck. I just don’t know how awkward it’s going to be.”

“OK, well if you want to leave, you can take my car, I don’t mind.”

“I’m hoping it’s not that bad!” I laughed, nervously. “I guess I’m just gonna have to speak to him. Do you mind?”

“Of course not.”

When I met Jason, although I had tried to hide my past, I had actually told him a lot about myself. Including my history with Joel. Jason was well aware of who he was and who his band was so was obviously aware of what could happen once he found out who was at the studio today.

“Joel? Can we have a work please?” I asked, putting my head in the door while Jason went back to the main studio room. Joel nodded at me and stood up.

“So, I’m guessing I would be correct in saying that your new boyfriend?” Joel said.

“Yes, that’s Jason,” I confirmed.

“Do you love him?”

“What?”

“I said, do you love him?”

“What kind of question is that, you can’t just ask me that!” I said, raising my voice.

“Why don’t you just answer me?” he asked.

“Because, it’s quite frankly none of your business,” I told him. “I brought you out here to be polite and considerate and see if you minded me being here, not to be interrogated about my love life.”

“I don’t mind you being here, I do mind you being with him though,” he said.

“Why? Why does it matter?”

“Because you left me with no reason, no excuse. You just got up and left. And now you’re with some other guy, and I don’t know if you’re happy, I don’t know if you’ve opened yourself to him more than you did with me,” he explained. “Because if you have, I hope he treats you properly.”

“Well, like I said, it’s none of your business now,” I told him again.

“Judging by the fact you won’t tell me yes or no, I’m going to take that as a no,” he said, sounding smug.

“Oh fuck off Joel!” I shouted. “I came here for a stress free day and I’m obviously not going to get that with you on my back about whether I love my boyfriend. Want me to be honest? No I don’t love him, I’ve only been with him a few weeks, like hell am I going to start thinking about love yet.”

“I loved you,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“Well that was stupid wasn’t it,” I said, reopening the door to the green room and grabbing my bag quickly before walking back out.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going home. You film your video, leave me and my boyfriend alone and go home,” I told him.