You End, I Begin

2006

“So, what’s new in your musical world?” Carlie asked, bouncing down on my bed.

“Er, Boys Like Girls just released an album, New Found Glory have got a new one, I kinda like Beyonce’s new album too,” I told her.

“Your music taste is all over the place,” she laughed as I shrugged in return as I continued to look at my laptop screen. Carlie stood up and walked over to what she had named my ‘music wall’. I had a lot of CDs, on my last count it was well over 300 and I added to it almost every week. My Saturdays were spilt between my local record store and the book store and once I came home, my mom would just roll her eyes at the sight of my latest purchases. The ‘music wall’ was basically one wall of my bedroom partly covered in shelves for all the CDs, plus a few vinyl records I had accumulated over the years and as well as a few other bits and pieces I’d put up, a few posters, gig tickets, that sort of thing. “So, what’s our plan for tonight?” Carlie asked as she pulled out random CDs.

“I was thinking I’d just stick on a movie or get lost in a book,” I said, turning to face her.

“Urgh, really? It’s Friday night Abby, why don’t we go somewhere or do something?!”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, but we’re 17, we’re in our senior year, we’re never going to be here again, there must something you want to do,” she moaned.

As if on queue, her phone beeped and she threw herself back down on my bed. Reading the message, her face broke out into a smile.

“Looks like I found us a plan for tonight!” she grinned at me.

“Carlie, I told you, movie, book, that’s my Friday night.”

“Not now it’s not,” she told me. “Get ready, we’re going to a gig tonight.”

“Oh, Carlie,” I whined as I was actually looking forward to staying in.

“‘Oh Carlie’ nothing, you know you’ll enjoy it once you’re there, so let’s go!”

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As we walked into the venue, one I’d been in so many times before, I saw many faces I recognised. This was not the way I wanted to spend my Friday night.

“So, do you know who’s playing tonight?” I asked, as we walked in further and Carlie waved at a few people.

“Oh, uh, I can’t remember their name, everyone said it was going to be a good night though,” she said.

Carlie Sanders was my best friend. She was kind of my only proper friend too. When I walked round school, I tried to keep my head down as much as possible and keep to myself, trying not to get in anyone’s way. This resulted in not really speaking to a lot of people at school. Carlie had been there for me since we were young and she was the only one I really trusted. Sometimes our opinions were different, but I enjoyed her company and I hoped that was enough. Carlie, on the other hand, differed from me, in that she loved being the centre of attention and being surrounded by people. With her long dark brown hair, mesmerizing blue eyes and never ending slim legs, she looked like a model and that definitely helped attract everyone to her. There was no surprise that tonight was just like any other time, as Carlie already had a group of people around her and we’d only been her ten minutes, as I stood in the shadows behind.

After a while, a band took to the stage and I separated myself from the group that had formed around Carlie so I could watch them. I looked around, but there was no one else nearby that I felt comfortable enough to stand with. Folding my arms across my body, I looked around at the other people in the venue, all watching the band performing on stage. Some were obviously couples, arms wrapped around shoulders and waists, whilst others were friends, enjoying the music whilst singing the lyrics at each other. There was one person who caught my eye.

Stood a few meters away from me was a tall, skinny boy, whose blonde hair was much longer than most the other guys in here. There was nothing particularly special about him. He wore regular blue jeans, a band shirt that only empathized his skinny body and a pair of slip on Vans were on his feet. I recognized him from school but couldn’t put a name to his face and I’d never spoken to him before. Seeing him stood there alone, I wondered why we’d never interacted before.

As the band finished playing and left the stage, I managed to work my way through the group to Carlie’s side.

“Hey Abby! Having fun?” she asked, excitedly.

“Not really, when can we leave?” I asked, trying to keep her attention. She glanced at me and then took my hand, leading me away from where she’d been stood with her other friends.

“Can we leave? You cannot be serious, Abby, we only just got here,” she sighed. “You love live music, aren’t you enjoying yourself?”

“Yes I like live music, but usually when I know who it is or I’m enjoying it with someone,” I told her.

“Then talk to some people! Seriously, Abby, just talk to someone new, please,” she reasoned. “What about blonde haired cutie?”

“What?”

“Come on, I might not be stood with you, but doesn’t mean I don’t watch out for you. I saw you eyeing up Joel,” she smiled.

“OK, slightly creepy,” I frowned. Of course she knew him.“And I wasn’t eyeing him up,” I said, as his name went round my head. Joel...Joel... Yeah, that was nice enough, I thought to myself.

“Yes, you were. I’m your best friend, I see everything,” she told me, still smiling. “Now, go, talk to him,” she instructed, giving me a small push as she walked back to her group.

I stepped forward slightly, towards where I was before. There was no point in even going near him, he would never be interested in me. Before long, Joel had a group of guys stood with him and a smile on his face and once again, I felt alone in the room. The next band started playing and I walked over to the bar, asking for some water as I didn’t have a fake ID like a lot of the girls here.

“Hey,” I heard a voice say next to me. As I looked up, I found Joel looking down at me.

“Hi?” I said, although it came out as more of a question.

“You’re Carlie’s friend, right?” he asked.

“Yeah, I am. Abby,” I said, by way of introduction.

“Joel,” he nodded. “Erm, I hope you don’t think this is weird or anything, considering we’ve never spoken before...”

Wait, what was happening right?, I thought to myself as I stared into Joel’s green eyes.

“...But, is Carlie dating anyone right now?” he asked. In that moment, I felt my heart sink and I had no idea why. I didn’t even know the boy, but I didn’t want Carlie to have him. I wanted to get to know him. But once again, he wanted to know my best friend, just like everyone else.

“No,” I sighed. “No, she’s not.”

“OK cool,” he smiled. “Thanks, Ally,” he said, walking away.

“IT’S ABBY!” I called after him, but he was already too far to hear.

I looked over at Carlie as she laughed, smiled and chatted with everyone around. I wondered to myself how it was so easy for her to socialize while I stood around on my own. And once again, I wondered why I’d let talk me into going out when I would have been far happier at home.