I Don't Love You

"Shit it's cold out there." I complained hugging my chest extremely tight.

"Andie we live in fucking Maine, of course it's cold." Jasper's arms wrapped around me from behind. It surprised me that they weren't cold like mine, even though he'd been outside just as long as I had.

"Yeah, well, I'm not the one who had to pee this time." I defended.

"Would you have rathered go to that store again?" He asked, knowning my answer.

"No." There wouldn't have been time for that. "But you could have used that ugly green shit box." I could feel the atmostphere getting thicker as it got closer for My Chem to come out. Suddenly I wasn't so cold.

"Aw, come on." Jasper let me go, almost as if he'd read my mind, and held my hand, leading me closer to teh stage. "You have to admit watching that guard chase me was funny." Jasper smiled back at me before pulling me in front of him. I busted out laughing, replaying the scene in my head. After not being able to find a decent bathroom Jasper had decided to pee on the tiny patch of grass out front. One of the guards had spotted us just as Jasper finished adn had chased him up adn down the parking asiles.

"Lucky for you he was out of shape." I giggled adn felt something hard against my middle section. Jasper rolled his eyes and then every light went out. I screamed out of shcok and then screamed loud as I realized what that meant. I felt the cold, firm thing that I was pressed up against in the dark. Only one thing that felt like that. No. Fucking. Way.

"Andover!!!" My breath caught in my throat. It was really him. I wished the lights were on so I could see him. "How is everybody tonight?" His Jersey accent had butterfiles in my stomach. Jasper screamed behind me, but I hardly heard him over my own. His laugh came clearly from the speakers. "I feel the same way." He chuckled and then the lights came on. The stage was empty. I spied Bob sitting at his drums and elbowed Jasper, pointing him out on the drum rise. The screaming picked up as Ray walked out on the right and Frank and Mikey on the left. They were all in their Black Parade outfits and I was so close I could see the huge smirk on Frank's face. I gripped the bar in front of me tightly for support as Gerard cam skipping out next to Ray. That's when the intro to 'This Is How I Disapear' blared in my ears and Gerard's amazing voice screamed "Go!" My heart beat in time with the drums and the steel bar pressed against my abdomen as the mosh pit started somewhere behind me adn pushed the crowd further. Jasper's arms were on either side of me, holding onto the bar and guarding me like usual. Not that I couldn't handle a good moshpit, but I was way to distracted by the spectacular band infront of me to get a good punch in. "To unexplain the unforgivable, drain all the blood and give the kids a show." I sang along with every line, well shouted really. Gerard ran around the stage waving his brilliant red bandanna everywhere. Frank was closest to us and acted like his crazy self, throwing his body all over adn taking his guitar with him. Mikey tended to stay in teh back, near the drums, but came to teh front, next to his brother, a few times. Ray zoned with his guitar and seemed to not notice the millions of fans, but when he did he had a gleeful smile on. Bob's riser was higher then I would have liked adn made it a little difficult to see him unless I stood on my tiptoes. After they played 'House of Wolves' it started to feel like they were closing the show up. The familiar begining of the song that hit me the most from The Black Parade had tears brimming my eyes. I felt Jasper let go of the bar and hug me to him. He knew what this song meant to me, and what it did to me. The salty water left trails down my cheeks as Gerard started with the first line.

"Well when you go, don't ever think I'll make you try to stay. And maybe when you get back, I'll be off to find another way." His voice was just as harmonious as it had been when he first came out. I didn't sing with him this time, I just closed my eyes and listened. It was all I could do. "I don't love you, like I loved you, yesterday!" My eyes opened wide at the last line, he had sounded so close. And there he was, on his knees right infront of me. I expected his eyes to be closed as he san gout this heartfelt line, but they weren't. Gerard Way was starting at me. His eyes sad and concerned adn they bored into mine. I thought I imagined the tiny smile he gave me before he had to get up to introduce the next song, 'Mama. I returned to my thrashing adn screaming self for the rest of the show. After 'Famous Last Words', the three guys with guitars slowly exited the stage. My heart dipped as the thought of it being over sunk in.

"I've got one more song for you guys." Gerard sat in the middle of the stage, indian style. A scream errupted from the next to me and I glared at her, ready to punch her out so Gerard could finish. Jasper wrapped the arm that wasn't between the girl and I around my waist to stop me from thinking my plan out. "Cancer kills one out of four people so I want you guys to find the person next to you and give them a huge hug, even if you don't know them." Jasper squeezed me and I smiled. "And I want every one to sing along to this one." I had a hard time breathing again as Gerard's eyes locked with mine and the notes for 'Cancer' started. "Turn away. If you could get a drink of water cause my lips are chapped and faded." Gerard didn't look away once during the whole song while I managed to sing with him through my troubled breathing. "Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you." The emotion he put into it surpassed anything I thought possible. Gerard stood up and gave me that tiny smile again before breaking eye contact so he could bow. As he straightened up he looked over the crowd. "Good night Andover." he grinned and then turned, jogging off the stage. The shouts and yells were ear splitting and I leaned heavily on Jasper. He bent his head down to my ear.

"Ready?" He asked me and I nodded, getting a sickening feel in my stomach. Jasper unwrapped his arms from around me and took my hand, pulling me toward the left side of the stage. There were huge body guards standing at the small gap in between the restraining bars. I thought about the bruise that was surely forming just above my belly button from it as Jasper showed the guards our passes and pulled me in between them and back stage.

I was surprised by how many poeple could fit in the small corriders. It seemed no better then the huge crowd infront of the stage. I scanned my surroundings and my eyes widened as I saw the stage. It looked so different from this side, so much more closer. The conversation around me blurred together as I stared in awe. I vaguely recognized Jasper's voice but I couldn't make the words out.

Jasper pulled me through the halls and people until he paused at a door. I felt my heart jump into my throat as the many possibilites of what was behind the door until he opened it. The room was empty of people and held a simple couch and chair. There was a mirror that lined one wall that started mid-way and went a few inches above my head. Jasper let go of my hand and sat on the couch.

"Andie." He pulled me from my thoughts. "You okay?" I swallowed [strike]loudly[/strike] and nodded. "Come sit down." He patted the spot next to him. I complied and rested my head on his shoulder. "We'll look for those boys after you're able to walk and talk conciously."