A Step to Love

“What are you going to do with the house back in Florida?” It was the first thing that popped out of my head when I sat with my aunt to have our breakfast together. She set a big plate of fried eggs with bacon in front of me. There was even a cup of grape juice standing next to it. She said I had to eat in order to gain strength for The Recital.

Cero days left. She and I spent some quality time together which helped me to open up. I told her everything from my point of view. To my surprise, she did not joke about it. She simply nodded while her hands petted over Rainbow’s fur.

Rainbow was a small white kitty that for some reason had a pink strip right in the middle of her fur. Aunt Delilah said she had found her in front of her doorstep and took her in ever since. Rainbow would gladly come to me every once in a while, especially during the nights just to jump on my new bed. She liked sleeping between my toes.

Aunt Delilah shrugged a bit before setting another plate beside me, for herself. “Laurey and I decided to keep it. We decided to put it out, so people can rent it and stuff.”

“Cool.”

She smiled, setting some fried eggs on her plate with a spatula. “How much time do you need?”

I took a piece of my breakfast, and swallowed it quickly. “For?”

“To get ready, silly.” She sat next to me and rested her elbows over the table. He had one fork in one of her hands and a knife in the other.

I shrugged. “The make-up and stuff is kind of simple. We usually just get ready minutes later before it starts.”

She was coming in to see me tonight. I had bought a ticket for my mother, thinking she would be out during this time, but since she wasn’t, I gave it to my aunt.

After that, we ate quietly and right around four o’ clock or so, Aunt Delilah took me toward her car and drove me to the theater. Her head tight against her scalp hence she had just started getting ready. I made sure I had everything: my costume, my shoe-box (with the shoes in it) and my bag. In my bag I had the make-up, things I would use to get my hair ready, some snacks, hygiene products, a small wallet and the present. The perfect present for him.

I was not going to explain further about my thoughts towards him. I knew what I had to do. It was a decision he made me do, and if he didn’t like it, well…he said he would leave me alone.

The first eyes I spotted as soon as I got there were a pair of light blue ones. I gave my aunt a kiss on the cheek before I saw her leave. I turned. “Hey, Benny,” I said, hugging him.

“Hey, Gorgeous,” he greeted in his manly voice. He gave me a pat in the head, before anything else. “Is that her?”

I nodded. “That’s my auntie. She’s coming later,” I told him. “You can meet her properly if you want.”

He smiled. “I’d be delighted.”

Benny took me by the elbow leading me towards Jay who was already dressed in his costume. He gave me a tight hug. “Heard you were leaving,” he said, hugging me tighter. “’Gonna miss you.”

“Yeah, I need a break from dancing.”

“Nobody needs a break from it,” he replied, smiling and petting my head like Benny did. “But, well, college comes and stuff. You need to be concentrated. Extra concentrated.” He didn’t know what he was talking about, and yet, he was explicitly correct. I needed to concentrate badly and get Brody off of me. This was going to be my senior year, after all.

The minutes passed, and then the hours. I lifted part of my tight aqua trousers and pressed my head tightly against my knee, attempting to stretch even more than what I already was. I looked up and noticed everyone else doing the same. I felt butterflies hit my stomach. It happened every time I was in this position. I was always a nervous wreck before these events and then I felt like I wanted to do them over, and over again.

Not this time, though. This was my last, so I can be sure to say I was extremely nervous. I did not want to mess this up, and for me, Mr. Luck never seemed to be around when I most needed him.

I sighed and tried my other leg, pressing my mouth to my knee and my hand reaching up to my toe, when I felt some hands connect with mine, obviously making me look up. “Hey,” I breathed, seeing Brit.

“Thought I was Alex, eh?” she winked.

“Shut up,” I muttered, getting up for a hug. Right then, the intercom sounded, telling us to start getting ready. Brit linked her arm with mine and we walked up to Jay’s room where his class stood. He started saying how he was proud and all of that cheesy momentarily speeches people use whenever they’re about to finish off the year. We did then this psychotic thing where we would put our hands in the center and yell the academy’s name. Every group did this, even Mrs. Grinchwill…

Anyway, I stretched a little bit more before putting on some black tights and a white polo. I looked around.

Alex was nowhere to be seen.

While trying unsuccessfully to put some black shorts over the tights, I jumped toward Brit, whispering to her, “where’s Alex?”

She shrugged as she worked with her hair. “In the boy’s room…?” Of course he would be. Intelligent Lillian, he’s a boy. He doesn’t dress in front of women. Not that he would mind, I guessed.

I muttered a “thanks” before finishing with the shorts. I focused on getting ready before heading towards him. We had to talk.

I did my hair and make-up the same way every one from the jazz class was doing theirs; high ponytails and exaggerated purple and gray make-up. I stood in front of the mirror, trying to decide whether to apply the red lipstick before or after talking to Alex… I decided on after. I put on my black jumper before heading out, returning when I noticed I had my shoes missing, so I went in, browsed through my stuff, found my black slippers and headed out.

On the way towards where the boy’s room stood, I bumped several times with the stuff coming towards me. Some were people, some were racks, etc. I felt my black skirt pull in and out before reaching in front of a door. I knocked on it twice and Jay’s head popped out.

From the background you could see there were shirtless guys—lots of shirtless guys. I bit my lip. “Yes?”

“Is Alex in there?” I asked, taking my fingers behind my back. They were holding onto a squared box.

He chuckled before nodding and closing the door in front of my face. Seconds later, Alex came out already dressed in his white shirt, black pants and black vest. “Lilly? What are you doing here?”

I smiled. “We have to talk.”

“Now? The Show’s about to start,” he replied, widening his eyes.

I scoffed, taking a hand out and pushing him softly. “You know we never start on time—plus, we’re last to go,” I reminded him. I pulled out the box and handed to him. His eyes were glistening at me. “Happy Birthday.”

He looked surprised, but smiled, anyway. I pulled him into a hug. “You remembered.”

I shrugged. Of course I did; his last birthday he threw an egg at me just because he thought it would make his day. I made sure to put that out in my diary.

He took the green box into his hands and shook it. He gave me a weird look before opening it. “There’s nothing in here.”

No, there wasn’t. “Of course there is.” I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. “You just have to close your eyes in order to see it.”

“Clo—m—are you tripping me?”

I laughed out loud. He said “tripping”, I thought. I was so immature. Nevertheless, I shook my head. Then, he closed his eyes. I licked my lips before carefully taking the box from his hands. He smiled as I did this. I stepped in closer. Carefully, not to startle him, I touched his chest and pressed my full lips against his. He waited patiently until I started moving my lips. It looked like he was waiting to see if I was sure of my actions. After a moment, he started kissing back and his hands were holding onto my back, bringing us closer.

I was sure of this. I was sure I wanted all of this.

The thought of wanting him made my arms go behind his neck, pulling myself onto my tiptoes. I still had the box in my hands when he ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I let him in, tasting his sweet mouth completely and caressing my tongue against his. I felt his hands rub my back softly, but then parted, taking one of them to my face, holding my chin as we continued in our kiss.

My aunt was right. Alex was right. I had to move on and, what better to start than this? His lips moving gently with mine in a cute embrace.

“Best gift I’ve ever received,” he joked when we stopped, still holding my chin.

“Better than the car?” Brit made sure to fill me on that one this afternoon before coming here. Even though I was not living there anymore, I was still making sure I knew the details going on.

He chuckled, letting go and taking the box from me. “Most definitely.”

I smiled at him. He was too beautiful. “Actually, the real present it’s in my bag, so we can ju—”

Alex cut me off my pulling me by the arm and kissing me again. “How about we talk?”

I nodded.

He led me through some people, until we got to the back door and then we walked towards a small room that held some inventory. I looked around through the low lighting before I heard him lock the door. I turned, and he flexed his fingers through mine, getting closer. “We’re giving this a try,” he stated.

“We are.” I reached for his lips and pressed my own. I parted, but then his eyes went for my lips and back to my eyes. He leaned his head and captured me once again. He kissed me, and kissed me until I ended up holding onto his head. He swayed carefully and sweetly, playing with the curves my lips held. He moved his between mine and put mine between his. I shifted, getting closer and ended up standing with him locking lips with my neck. He took me against a part of the wall and ran his lips around my collarbone, trailing soft kisses. His hand moved to my waist, playing with the straps of my jumper.

I bit my lip as I felt a hot sting of pleasure running up. He had found my weak spot.

I frowned as I remembered Brody.

Still, Alex didn’t notice and I shifted below him, pushing Brody and his nonchalant actions away from me.

Alex’s head lifted, and stared down at me. He pressed his nose adorably against mine, his blue and piercing gaze savoring me also. I rubbed my small nose against his and went to kiss him. He breathed when we parted. He waited for a response, and without getting one, he went for my neck again.

He must’ve known I liked that. My hands circled around his back and one of them actually got to reach part of his straight hair, feeling the softness surround my fingers.

“How far have you gotten with ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’?” The question cut me off guard. My movement stopped suddenly, but his didn’t. I took my hands and pushed him off gently, making my neck relax.

“Up to this,” I whispered. I thought Alex knew better than that. The disappointed that hit his face was not unseen.

For a second he took some time, but then he realized what I truly meant. Brody and I made out, sure, but I had told him before. I did not believe in sex before marriage. For me, virginity was a sacred subject. It wasn’t because of religion, but it was a more personal object. I did not want to be like the rest of the girls my age. I wanted to wait, for the right person, and I knew the way I could find it was for somebody accepting me for me and not for sex. After a while, he stepped away covering his mouth thoughtfully. “I’m sorry, Lilly. I didn’t mean to.”

I smiled at him. I took his cheek in my hand for a moment and let go. “It’s totally okay.”

He shook his head. “No, we just started and I’m already going too far.” He paused, before shooting a glance that took my pupils. “Are you a virgin?” he whispered.

I stared. “Well you don’t have to whisper it…”

“Are you a virgin?!” he yelled jokingly and I slapped his arm, causing both of us to silently crackle.

When we stopped, I simply nodded holding onto my lip.

When we didn’t say anything else, I felt the atmosphere get quite awkward. My vision went to my feet, while trying to avoid his understanding gaze. I knew he somehow understood how I felt about this. I really did not want to explain further. I heard his steps and then I felt something that lifted my head up to meet his face. “Why do you look embarrassed?”

It was obvious. Why did I have to say it out loud, too? “You used to date girls like Jenny.” I shifted my gaze away from him as I said that. I think he understood perfectly in that sentence. I did not want to be pressured into doing things, especially when it came from someone who had seen it all. I mean, if he dated Jenny, he had indeed, seen all of the tricks and so much more.

It was the main reason why I doubted being with him on the first place.

“She has nothing on you, Annie, and I’m not just saying that.”