A Step to Love

A few weeks passed or so. I had even lost count with the numerous attempts at breathtaking histories. I was resting in the sofa, on a weekend, with Alex next to me. He was completely focused on his assignment which consisted on sorting out the different types of symptoms for a cardiac arrest. I helped him up by going to the library and reaching on some old books. The assignment seemed simple, but the hard part was explaining it in more expanded content, along with examples and theories.

Alex’s frame was determined, sharp. He was on his work and on his work only. I laughed aloud when a tickle coming from a butterfly’s wings touched me. I was proudly content for him.

He turned to me, smiled and turned back to his research.

I stared at his structured jaw line, followed by his vivid neck and arms that reached miles.

I had told Alex about Brody. He had shrugged. I had not, though, told him about…the issues passed along. After a while of waiting for him to come up with his own theory and receiving heavy kisses after it, he ran to his house to greet his mother and came back here.

As he entered, he kissed my cheek and nuzzled his nose against it. “How about we go upstairs?” he prompted. I felt once again uneasy.

“No, let’s talk.” I handed him my hand and he took it and I led him to the kitchen table. I had that feeling. That weird gut-wrenching feeling that helped me to know when something needed fixing. Just like when I went to see Brody.

Alex looked majorly confused, but followed me anyway.

“I have to tell you something that happened a while back, which I didn’t think was that important until it kept avoiding my thoughts—just promise me you’ll stay relaxed, calm and collected.”

He waited, but nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

As I spoke, as I told him what had happened with Mr. Roberts and told him about what Jake admitted to me, I saw his expression switch from hesitant, to surprised, to confused, to frightened, to angry—all in a matter of seconds. “I don’t know whether I should call it an accident because I wasn’t exactly part of his idea. Well, I had my thoughts, but he simply caught me surprise. I instantly came running home. Then I refused to speak to my aunt for almost a week because I figured I couldn’t tell anyone about it.” I paused.

Alex had his eyebrows jointed together.

“You could’ve told me.”

He was right, but… “I was trying to figure it out by myself.”

“Figuring what? I’m not around school this year and you’re already making out with somebody else, more than that: a teacher?”

What? No! He had completely misinterpreted my intentions. He wasn’t supposed to be against me. “Alex, didn’t you hear what I just said?”

“Clearly.”

“Well if you had, you wouldn’t be arguing with the facts. I said he caught me by surprise. I didn’t even kiss him back!” I tried to explain as he only shook his head in disapproval. Fuck it.

He was setting his jaw tight. That was not a good sign.

I tried again. “Listen to me, Co—Al, ugh! You’re confusing me!” Fuck it. Fuck it.

“So you even call him by his name?” he stood up.

“No! Alex, you promised to stay calm and collected,” I whined.

“How can I with the show you’re throwing?” He went to the living room, he picked up his stuff as I tried to stop him and tried effortlessly again to explain the real version.

“My show. Ale—Alexander!” He pushed me aside, settled in the door and closed it on my face. I opened it quickly and threw a shriek along with a scream behind his back. “Call me when you understand the context of your actions!”

Irritated. That’s all I had to say.