A Step to Love
The Step
“Hey, Lilly.” I felt Alex follow me to my bedroom.
I nearly ran, ready to close the door when he put his foot in the way and I struggled. My feet slid carefully against the floor as Alex’s strength was bigger.
Eventually, he opened it and I fell back, landing on my bed somehow.
I sniffled and cleared my tears when he was busy closing the door.
He turned.
“Are you staying with a major?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, coming to me.
He held out his hand, I took it, feeling stupid around him tonight. Our fights were simply stupid, just like before when we weren’t even together.
“When are you leaving?” My frown felt heavier on my lips. It dried them away and I had to run my tongue along it to moisture some of the features.
“Em, in three months.”
“Only three months,” I muttered.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I just was—”
I wanted so deeply to tell him I had hated him.
“Does somebody else know?”
“Well, besides my family, no. I wasn’t sure I was going for it.”
“What made you so sure? Why did you have to go so far?”
“When I realized I had but one chance to make a difference. Annie, this has been my entire dream since I could remember. Not only a doctor, but graduating from London? That’s just the perfect fantasy for me, only I realized now that I can really do this.”
“So you decide to rip out a beautiful relationship in order to get that.”
I knew I sounded selfish. My mind raced as my heart felt confused. I knew what I had just said. It made perfect sense to in that moment.
“Lil—”
I sighed. “I know I shouldn’t be selfish. You didn’t say anything either when I told you about going to New York. I shouldn’t be asking for more, Alex, but…” I tried my hardest not to cry and I tried my hardest not to say the word from the tip of my tongue. It was hanging low and carefully. “I—I”
Alex showed me how his lips could curve easily without looking amused. His lips showed sympathy and understanding.
He held me, thankfully before my tears slipped off.
“Make me understand why I should be okay with this,” I whispered against his neck.
His head shifted, and he pressed his cheek to my hair. “You don’t really have to.”
Then make this easier. Simply turn back time and slip off again, but this time don’t come back. But of course I wanted him to come back and of course I was exaggerating.
“So, we’re supposed to do…what now?”
He separated a little. “We can continue it out until I have to go or we can agree on being friends and nothing more.”
I nearly ran, ready to close the door when he put his foot in the way and I struggled. My feet slid carefully against the floor as Alex’s strength was bigger.
Eventually, he opened it and I fell back, landing on my bed somehow.
I sniffled and cleared my tears when he was busy closing the door.
He turned.
“Are you staying with a major?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged, coming to me.
He held out his hand, I took it, feeling stupid around him tonight. Our fights were simply stupid, just like before when we weren’t even together.
“When are you leaving?” My frown felt heavier on my lips. It dried them away and I had to run my tongue along it to moisture some of the features.
“Em, in three months.”
“Only three months,” I muttered.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I just was—”
I wanted so deeply to tell him I had hated him.
“Does somebody else know?”
“Well, besides my family, no. I wasn’t sure I was going for it.”
“What made you so sure? Why did you have to go so far?”
“When I realized I had but one chance to make a difference. Annie, this has been my entire dream since I could remember. Not only a doctor, but graduating from London? That’s just the perfect fantasy for me, only I realized now that I can really do this.”
“So you decide to rip out a beautiful relationship in order to get that.”
I knew I sounded selfish. My mind raced as my heart felt confused. I knew what I had just said. It made perfect sense to in that moment.
“Lil—”
I sighed. “I know I shouldn’t be selfish. You didn’t say anything either when I told you about going to New York. I shouldn’t be asking for more, Alex, but…” I tried my hardest not to cry and I tried my hardest not to say the word from the tip of my tongue. It was hanging low and carefully. “I—I”
Alex showed me how his lips could curve easily without looking amused. His lips showed sympathy and understanding.
He held me, thankfully before my tears slipped off.
“Make me understand why I should be okay with this,” I whispered against his neck.
His head shifted, and he pressed his cheek to my hair. “You don’t really have to.”
Then make this easier. Simply turn back time and slip off again, but this time don’t come back. But of course I wanted him to come back and of course I was exaggerating.
“So, we’re supposed to do…what now?”
He separated a little. “We can continue it out until I have to go or we can agree on being friends and nothing more.”