A Step to Love

Alex reached my doorstep around five thirty in the morning. I was still working on my hair and my aunt and uncle were sleeping quietly. I had told them I was taking Alex to the airport along with his mom and Brit. They had thought it was nice of me, while inside my heart felt like breaking.

I asked Alex to meet me an hour before at my house, so I could spend some time alone with him before going with the rest.

I went downstairs and opened the door. He smiled warmly at me. I didn’t know if it was the fact that I was scared of completely losing him, more than I already had with him going away to London, but I found him completely breathtaking. His eyes looked darker than ever—a brilliant shade of dark sapphire with the shadowy background. I looked behind him and noticed that it was raining.

His jet black hair was beautifully situated in his head, where part of it, tried to cover his right eye. He was wearing a simple black shirt, along with some dark blue jeans that were holding themselves with a belt.

I led him upstairs to my room and as I closed the door, my lips attacked his.

It first started with a light peck that showed us once again how our lips perfectly fitted with one another. I separated giving some space and asking for approval. He smiled again, and then placed his soft, pale hands on the back of my hips. He held tightly while kissing me back.

Our lips pressed against each other and then separated. I looked into his eyes, he stared back into mine, taking me again.

His tongue entwined with mine, and our breathing getting a little more than heated, his hands slid down and found their way to my gluteus. He softly caressed them before grabbing them. I slid my hands against to his shoulders and pressed myself even more against his warm body.

He took a second to breath and kissed me again before moving his hands gently to my shoulders, making my hands go down to his pelvis, at the beginning of his hips. His bulge felt tight against my hip, his pants felt bigger than what they looked like. His hand roamed my neck, and followed my jaw line only the end on my shoulders again and with a breath, slid over them, pushing the straps of my green tank top away. You could still see the straps of my lacy blue bra.

With a hand, I pulled his shirt up, feeling between my fingers the curves of his stomach. I kept lifting it up as he tried to pull my shirt down my hips. We stopped for a mere second, and he pushed his shirt off, revealing his chest to me and then I proceeded to take mine out as he kissed me roughly again. I walked to my bed along with him and he pushed me gently with his lips, holding himself with his hands behind me. I laid on my back and his mouth moved from my own, to my neck, trailing sweet kisses down to between my breasts.

“I love you,” he whispered, taking his hand to my jeans and starting to eliminate that part of wardrobe.

I felt myself smile as I tilted my head back. “Don’t say that when you’re leaving me in almost four hours.”

He chuckled softly and moved to my mouth again, speaking between kisses. “Weren’t you—the—one that told me—to express—myself?”

I wrapped his head along my hands and kissed him next to his ear, sliding my right arm through his face and he fell on the right side on my neck. “That was your mom,” I said laughing.

“That would explain a lot,” he told me against my own ear. Before I could say anything else and before he started sliding my jeans down completely, his cell phone rang, making irritation rise up to me.

“Don’t,” I said, stopping his hand from reaching into his pocket, but it was too late, he had already gotten out and greeted into the receiver.

He grinned, and proceeded with the kissing as he heard whatever the other person had to say. He“mhm’d” when needed, he even “okay’ed” a few times before turning off the phone. He threw it over his shoulder and straddled me, putting his arms on both of my sides and resting his front against mine, making me smile tenderly.

“Mom,” he explained. “She’s asking where I am, but she only told me to hurry.”

I felt disappointed as he only kissed my forehead and pulled away, getting his shirt. I stayed there for a while, the jeans surrounding my knees. When, I got up, they fell down, making my underwear visible to Alex’s sight which seemed to widen as they turned to me. He was now fully clothed, saving his phone to his pocket.

“Beautiful,” he commented lowly. My smile reappeared along with a tight blush. I turned myself and started dressing up, starting with the jeans on the floor. I felt warm arms around my stomach. I hoped he wasn’t thinking that I hadn’t said “I love you” back. But I just couldn’t. Not when he was leaving, like I had just explained to him.

Did I truly love him? My senses thought so, but I wasn’t going to mention a word.

Alex meant to me more than anything else he could imagine in the world.

He grabbed my hand when I finished and we went outside right after grabbing my purse. I took my aunt’s car and Alex went in his mom’s car. I followed them to the airport. Pat had said she would’ve taken me if they weren’t going to her mom’s house afterwards. Of course I thanked her, I didn’t want to intrude.

We only took a couple of minutes to get to the Philadelphia International Airport. It all became too quickly. When I got out of the car, right after parking it, Brit greeted me. I saw her eyes were a little spongy and red. I smiled to her and she tried her best not to cry.

Pat followed closely behind, but Jake wasn’t there. I hoped the reason for his absence had nothing to do with what had happened between us. We hadn’t even spoken about it afterwards, but I bet he didn’t want to hear anything about it.

George wasn’t there either. Alex had explained he was on a business trip, but had called in this morning to wish Alex the best of luck. Nana on the other hand was close also.

We waited impatiently. Well, I wasn’t impatient about it, actually. I was dreading the moment. Maybe that was the reason why I found everything go by so quickly.

Around ten, they were calling in the passengers and Pat instantly attacked Alex in a hug.

“Oh, baby! I’m going to miss you so much. You’re the first to go away like this.” I remembered Jake did online-studying. “I love you so much,” she whispered. I heard Alex sniffle and when he looked up, I could see he started crying a little.

I don’t think I had ever seen Alex cry. I didn’t seem to remember.

He went to hug her sister and Nana next. My heart was sinking.

My chest was aching.

No, Lilly. I had to be strong. I couldn’t show any emotion toward this moment. I know I couldn’t handle it. I loved Alex a lot. I truly did love him.

He smiled to me as they parted and I shook my head involuntary. He laughed a sob and went to my waist to pull me up against him. He lifted me and breathed in my scent. I frowned. Don’t cry, I said to myself. I slid down carefully, still holding to him when he gave me a tight kiss.

“I can’t stand the sight of losing you,” I told him when he let go.

He kissed my forehead. “I won’t be gone long, you’ll see.”

But I couldn’t see it and that was the problem. He was slipping away after another deep kiss, behind the glass and onto the plane. He was leaving me forever, I knew. I didn’t know how many things could happen in six to seven years. And it hurt me more than I could bear.

His family left and I was still sitting on the floor in front of the crystal walls. The hours had passed and I only noticed when a security woman came toward me to ask me to leave, for I had been there more time than needed.

I walked to my aunt’s car, my body feeling numb. The parking ticket was high, but I paid with my own money. The money of my savings, that is.

I held on to the steering wheel before leaving.

I pressed my foot against the accelerator and drove. Surely, I felt slightly broken. Alex promised he would call, write and do whatever he had to, to stay in touch. I held on to that promise for quite a while.

My smile reappeared again as I remembered every gently kiss he had given me for the past five months. Every sweet touch, every tiny piece of memory that would probably make me say he was the best, despite of his faults and the stupid arguments in my past.

I was even proud to say he was better than Brody.

Water began to crawl away from my eyes. He was gone now. Just like that.

I opened my eyes quickly, as I noticed I had passed on the red light to turn my way towards home. I heard muffled horns surround me; I heard a scream in my ear thump loudly. I felt my body flinch, my head spin, my eyes close, my tears fall and I specially felt metal hit against my skin and the blood spread against my clothes.