Promises

Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through.

"So what you're saying is that I've been pregnant for two months and I haven't known?" 

Doctor Finn nodded. "It's common not to know. I mean, you've been so busy with your bakery and moving like you said, so it makes sense that you wouldn't realize it," he replied. 

"So like, what do I need to do? I don't...I don't know what to do."

I'm going to be a mum. I was a few months over nineteen. The last thing I need is a baby. I'm just opening my business. I'm engaged. I'm planning a wedding. I've cheated on my fiancé twice. I'm not ready for a baby. I can't even keep my own life straight, let alone trying to do it with a screaming baby. 

As of right now, I don't want the baby. I don't want to keep it. Seeley doesn't want kids right now. I don't want kids right now. I'm just a kid myself. I'm not saying I'm going to abort the baby, because I'm not. I would never do that. I just want the baby to have a good life, one that I know I wouldn't be able to give it. I have some more growing up to do. I need to live a little more. 

As I sat in my car with all the information I needed, I stared down at the small picture in my hand. I snapped a picture on my phone and opened a text to Harry. 



There's a BABY growing inside of me. 

As soon as I started the car my phone vibrated. I unlocked it and opened Harry's text. 

Who's baby is it?

Well of course it's... Shit. I can't believe I didn't even think of this. I want it to be Seeley's more then anything in this world, but there's that small chance that it could be Louis's. How could I be so stupid? I've slept with him twice -twice- and I'm with Seeley. That is what you call a slag. I was a slag. And I knew it. Harry, Louis, and I knew that.

I don't know.

Is there some test you can do now to see who's it is?

I don't know. I don't know anything, Harry! I don't want to be a parent! I don't want to have a baby growing inside of me!

Please tell me you aren't going to get an abortion. Please dear god, don't tell me that. 

I'm not. But I don't want this baby. I'm half tempted to just go away for seven months so no one will know. Please don't tell anyone Harry. Promise me.

I promise I won't tell anyone until you're ready.

I read his text and almost banged my head against the stearif wheel. I just made him promise me. I replayed my words over and over again in my mind. When Louis broke my heart and promises I vowed I would never promise anyone anything. I didn't like how it felt when someone broke promises they made to me, so I didn't want to put someone through that. I didn't like letting anyone down.

"I'm so fucked up."

 
These last few days had been crazy. I'd found out I was pregnant and almost had a breakdown. The news had sunk in and put me down in the dumps. Seeley was stuck in Paris with the flu. I wanted to go and take care of him but he told me to stay home and work, to not worry about him. Harry has been the only one I told and I'd like to keep it that way. For now at least. 

Is Louis at your place? I hit send and slipped on my boots, making sure they didn't mess up my leggings. 

No. He went out today. Want to come watch a movie or something?

Already on my way over. 

It took maybe twenty minutes but by the time I got there I was so ready to just lay on Harry's couch and be lazy. I entered without knocking, heading straight for the comfy couch. As I lay with my head shoved in a pillow, heavy footsteps sounded down the hall. Soon they were stopped right in front of me. I turned my head and opened my eyes to see Harry staring down at me with furrowed brows. 

"You weren't trying to suffocate yourself were you?" 

"It crossed my mind," I muttered. He rolled his eyes and pulled me up into a sitting position, then plopped down beside me. "I figured we could watch the Twilight series since I know you like it do much. I even went out and bought it on bluray just for you," he spoke.

That made me grin. He was so sweet! He reminded me of Daddy G in a way. We would sit and watch all our favorite movies like the Twilight series, Friends, Supernatural, and many more. We would pig out like no other and just lounge around in our pjs. It was nice. I haven't seen Daddy G in a while so I'm glad Harry was being here for me and helping me through all this. 

"Can we order take away?" 

"Already did babe." He grinned like he was so proud of himself. "Do you have any ice cream?" 

"Stocked up last night. Literally every Ben & Jerry's flavor you like is in the freezer." I hugged him tightly. He was a lifesaver. And I loved him for that. "Thank you so much Harry. You have no idea how much this means to me. You're the most amazing best mate ever," I rambled. 

He hugged me back just as tight. "There's no need to thank me. I'll always be here for you and I'll do anything for you too. You're like my big sister slash best mate."

I just grinned up at him. He placed a kiss on my temple before going and answering the door. A moment later he came back with a bag of Chinese take away. My face must have resembled a kids in a candy store because he chuckled. I dug into the box of lemon chicken like it was nobodys business. 

"Have I told you I love you lately?" I asked with a mouth full of food. He shook his head. "Well I do."

"You only love me because I got you lemon chicken. You just use me! I'm offended Scar!"

With a smirk, I rolled my eyes. "Piss off and start the movie. I want to see Bella almost get hit by a car." He hit play on the remote with his tongue sticking out at me.

A few hours later, Breaking Dawn Part 1 was playing. I was beyond tired so I leaned against Harry and closed my eyes. I heard a door open and close but I stayed asleep. 

"Harry?" A voice called out. 

"Shhh!" Harry shushed loudly. Footsteps echoed around the flat as I shifted to where I was snuggled into Harry more. "Harry--do you have a girl here? Did you screw her on our couch?" 

"Piss off Louis. I didn't screw anyone on our couch. I'm just hanging out with Scar," he replied. "I thought you were spending the night at Liam and Niall's?" 

"I changed my mind. Why are you hanging out with Letty? Why is she talking to you? She hasn't talked to me in a week." 

I slipped into a deep sleep before their conversation finished.


I woke up to sun hitting my face. Through cracked eyes, I noticed I wasn't in my room. I wasn't in my flat at all. When I tried to sit up something held me in place around my waist. Glancing down I saw a tan arm. Who in the world? I glanced over my shoulder and saw Louis's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful and innocent. He looked like a child when he slept. 

I don't know how I got in his room because the last thing I remember is watching movies with Harry in the living room. I'd like to think Harry wouldn't let Louis take me to his room but you never know with that kid. Once again I tried to get up with no avail. So I rolled over and settled for just laying there. My eyes scanned Louis's childlike features. Without thinking my hand came up and ran through his messy brown locks. He sighed in his sleep and pulled me closer. Our chests were touching and if I put my free hand on his I could feel his steady heartbeat. 

I know I shouldn't be doing this. But I didn't know how to stop. Louis was and always will be my first love. You could never get over your first love. Like they say, you never stop loving someone you just find someone new to love. And I believed that. Seeley would be the man I love, but Louis would forever be my first love. There was no changing that. And I think Louis knew that.

"Deep in thought, love?" Blinking, I stared at a now awake Louis. His eyes were halfway open still heavy with sleep. He had a five o'clock shadow that I loved, but I would never tell him that. I always told him when we were dating that I hated the way it felt against my skin. In reality I loved the way it tickled when he buried his head in my neck or when he kissed me. 

"What were you thinking about?"

"Everything," I murmured. "Just everything." 

He ran his hand up my side to my hair where he threaded his fingers in it. Before I could realize what he was doing he had my head pulled to his as our lips met. The kiss was soft. It was one of those weak in the knees, dizzy in the head kisses. The kind I loved more then anything.  

"Louis," I groaned, pulling away from him. He leaned his forehead on mine with his eyes closed. "Don't act like you don't want it, Letty," he mumbled. 

I was quiet for a while. "I don't know what I want anymore, Louis. I'm not even sure I want to marry Seeley anymore. He doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve to be cheated on and hurt like this." 

He sighed, finally opening his eyes. "He doesn't have to know."

"I love him. I don't think I can do that to him," I whispered.

"If you love me you'll do it," he spoke.