Say Anything

I sluggishly woke up the next morning with a major headache. I don’t know why, I usually don’t get much headaches, but I think it’s because of the fact that I’m insanely stressed out and annoyed with everyone around me. I flipped my blanket off of me and sat up in my bed and was just about to get up and get ready when my door swung open.

“Where the hell were you after school yesterday!?” My father yelled. I closed my eyes and raised my hand to my head. This is definitely not something I wanted to wake up to.

“I had to go over to Derek’s house to do a project.” I muttered. “I left a message on your voice mail.”

“You know I don’t check my phone very often.” He remarked.

“Well it was the only way I knew how to contact you.” I replied and shrugged. He stepped closer to my bed and stood above me with his hands in his fists.

“Haven’t seen Derek in years.” He muttered.

“Yeah.” Was all I could manage to say.

“Were you really with him and not some other boy?” He asked.

“No, Dad, I was with him, I promise. You can call his Dad, he saw me there.” I replied.

“I think I just might.” He muttered. “I don’t trust you.”

“I haven’t done one thing wrong, ever!” I yelled out but immediately regretted it. I saw his face get redder and was expected him to say something along the lines of ‘You made your mother die’, but he remained quiet. Finally he opened his mouth to speak.

“Just don’t ever do that again, alright?” He said loudly. I just closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair.

“Alright, I promise, Dad.” I replied and heard him huff, and leave my room.

That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Usually he freaks out more, but I know that he and Derek got along great back in the day, so the fact that I was with Derek probably made the situation much lighter. My father was like that, he needed everything to be planned out like a week before. I could never act on impulse, without getting screamed at about it later.

I stepped off my bed and sighed once I looked at my appearance in the bathroom mirror. Alex’s comment came into mind. ‘You’re kind of pretty in a weird looking way’. I looked at my dull blonde hair, my boring dark blue eyes, and skinny body. I was weird looking in my eyes, not pretty. I sighed, tried my best to push his comment to the back of my head, and got ready for school.

-x-

I walked up the steps to my school in an almost complete shiver. It seems that no matter what I do, or how warmly I dress, I will always be cold. At least today was Friday, and I wouldn’t have to worry about walking to and from school for a couple of days. I then realized it has been a week. A whole week I had been talking to MM. Still not knowing who he is or anything.

I pulled the envelope out of my backpack and placed it in the nurse’s box and sighed. Hopefully he wouldn’t mind my venting. I was just about to turn around to go to class when I bumped into someone, again.

“Oh, sorry.” I heard a boy say. This time I looked up and saw a boy around my age with shaggy light brown hair.

“It’s okay.” I muttered and picked my backpack off of the ground.

“What were you stuffing in the nurse’s box?” He asked curiously. “Aren’t teachers the only ones who put things in there?”

I shrugged nonchalantly and tried my best to think up a lie. “I had to write her a note.” I said quickly which made him raise his eyebrows.

“Okay...” He remarked and flashed me a quick smile. “I’m Ryan.” He added and stuck his hand out. I just stood there and stared at it, no one had bothered to introduce themselves to me before, well, besides Avery, so I was a little taken back, “You’re supposed to shake it you know.” He stated while laughing a little. I reached out and shook it lightly.

“I-I’m Baylin.” I said quietly.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Baylin.” He replied and smiled again, before walking away into the crowd of high school students.

-x-

I sat in Mr. Roger’s class and almost banged my head against the desk. We all turned our projects in and he was now lecturing about how amazing this writer’s workshop that he taught went. Honestly, none of us were interested. Even the kids that loved writing and reading weren’t interested. He was probably the most boring, lame teacher I’ve ever had.

Suddenly my phone buzzed in my pocket. I shot up in surprise and slowly took it out. No one and I mean no one knew my cell phone number besides my father. I’ve had the same, ghetto cell phone since I was in seventh grade. My father made sure I had it on me all the time in case of emergency, or in case he just wanted to make sure where I was 24/7.

I quickly looked around the classroom and flipped it open.

How was the ride home with Alex? It said.

I looked up to see Derek staring at me inventively.

I then realized what I was doing. I was making eye contact with him. I haven’t looked into anyone’s eyes in as long as I could remember. Once I realized this, I quickly looked back down at my phone. His eyes were a dark chocolate brown, which gave him more a mysterious factor to him. I quickly shook off the thought and stared down at my phone, not really knowing what to do. Alex seemed pretty serious when he told me to stay away from Derek. I don’t know why he wants me to, but I know he does, so I think texting Derek wouldn’t make Alex very happy.

I sighed as my fingers shook while I pressed the buttons on my cell phone.

It was fine.

I sat back in my chair and breathed in heavily. I wasn’t going to tell Derek about Alex. I just knew that Derek wouldn’t even do anything about it; I bet if Alex decided he wanted to physically take me and throw me off a cliff, Derek wouldn’t protest. Derek was just a weak person, who just looked like the opposite.

My phone buzzed again.

Fine?

I looked up at him again and he was running his fingers through his long brown hair nervously. Maybe he knew?

Yes, fine. How did you get my number? I asked, trying my best to change the subject.

I saw him flip open his phone and began to write his message back to me.

You’ve had the same number since 7th grade.

I tilted my head back in surprise. Why did he save my number after all of this time? Before I could even contemplate on that, my phone buzzed again and I opened it slowly.

Can we talk after school, please?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Part of me wanted to talk to him. That part of me wanted to run up to him and give him a hug, tell him how much I missed him and how much I needed him to be there with me. How I missed how he used to sneak outside to my house late at night after my father punished me for no reason, just to give me a packet of gummy bears. But the other part of me didn’t want to see him. This part of me would flash in front of my eyes the times where Derek and his friends made fun of me in front of my face. How they would talk about how stupid my clothes were, write me horrible notes and toss them to me in class. Part of me wanted to strangle him and ask ‘Why!? Why did you do these things to me?!’. Derek was my world, my scapegoat, and when he abandoned me, I felt that my world had come crashing down. I was just getting used to the fact that I didn’t have anyone to confide in when he had to come waltzing in on my life again.

I angrily pressed down on the keys to my phone.

No. Was all I could manage to get out, but I knew that it would say everything.