Say Anything

The rest of the day went by quickly and I was already having a blazing headache from thinking too much. I tried convincing myself that Heather’s words had no effect on me, but they just... did, and I can’t deny it. It just adds up. Everything she said adds up. Maybe Alex is just trying to subsequently warn me about Derek by telling me to stay away from him. Or maybe Alex is gay and has a fattie crush on Derek and wants to keep him all to himself? Either one could be plausible.

I sighed and rested my forehead against my locker.

“Hey Ryan!” I heard a random boy yell. I perked my head up and looked over in the direction of a guy running up to Ryan and giving him one of those ‘man hugs’. I groaned and just watched them converse before Ryan nodded his head and walked away. He hasn’t talked to me ever since I turned him down, and I didn’t even technically turn him down, I kind of just stood there stammering. But still, he was nice to me and we got along, but apparently he couldn’t even stand having a friendship with me. Not that I care or anything, I don’t need a lot of friends, I guess it was just... nice having him as one, that’s all.

I opened the door to my locker and of course, the all knowing envelope fell out. I opened it up and smiled.

Bay,

I hope you liked your present and it wasn’t too dumb. I just have seen you draw in this small sketchbook and I always thought you needed a larger one. But yeah, once again, Happy Birthday. It’s crazy to think that we’ve been talking everyday for 3 ½ weeks now, don’t you think? We should have like a one month, uh, talkaversery or something.

Wow, that sounded so lame.

Anyways, I'm happy you're not getting sick of me yet :]

-MM

Sometimes you just want to walk alone in the rain, immensely denying the sun. You want to walk barefoot on the streets, until your feet throb numb. Nevermind the problems of the day or the racing deep thoughts in your head, all you want to do, is continue to walk, and scream in the downpour instead.

MM’s clue actually made sense to me this time. I knew what he was talking about, and what he was feeling.

I closed the envelope and quickly rushed down the steps to walk home from school. I remember my Dad telling me I needed to be home, right after school. I don’t know for what, but I’m sure it’s nothing too important. Maybe he just wants me home. Which is actually kind of lame because it is my birthday after all.

I pulled my jacket closer to my body and looked down at my shoes when I suddenly heard a loud honk to the left of me. I looked over and saw Derek driving slowly by me.

“Wanna ride?” He asked. I looked at him and realized that I hadn’t breathed at all and took a deep breath.

They’re wrong. Heather and Alex are wrong, Derek wouldn’t do something like that to me.

I nodded and opened the passenger door to hop in his car.

“Hey.” He said to me and I tried my best to smile back.

“Hey.” I replied and looked forward at the glove compartment.

“What’s wrong?” He asked while accelerating and driving down the street.

“Why would you think something is wrong?” I asked and looked down at the infamous ring on my finger. It’s crazy that whatever Derek gives me, soon enough has major sentimental value. I already knew I wouldn’t be taking off the locket he gave me for quite a long time.

“I can tell.” He replied quietly and I just shrugged and looked out of the window.

“Well, nothing’s wrong.” I muttered defensively and heard him sigh. How could he automatically know something was wasn't right with me? All I did was smile at him and it’s like he knew. Maybe he knew that I found out about him. That he’s actually some scheming, bastard guy that I knew him to be for the past 3 ½ years. Maybe he’s trying to think of a way to cover it up. Maybe he’s-

Okay I need to stop.

Derek pulled into the driveway of my house and I unbuckled my seatbelt, muttered a ‘thank you’ and was just about to open the door to leave when he reached out to grab my arm softly. I’m glad he doesn’t yank me around to get me to turn back to him like Alex does. Ugh, Alex, how I hate you so, especially for helping plant this stupid, stupid seed in my head.

“What?” I asked and saw Derek narrow his eyebrows and look me in the eyes, kind of like he was studying me. His long hair was now falling over both of his eyes but he quickly moved his head to the side, allowing his hair to do the same.

“I don’t like that you won’t tell me what’s wrong.” He finally said after a couple of seconds of us just staring at one another.

“Nothing is wrong!” I yelled angrily. “And you don’t even tell me anything anyways, why should I tell you anything about me?!” I added and saw his face drop. “Look, I’m sorry, I’m just going to go.” I stated and opened the car to leave. I quickly rushed into my house and didn’t look back, probably afraid to see what Derek’s expression was. I’ve never really raised my voice to anyone before and it even scared me. I’m usually very quiet when I speak, to the point where most of the time whenever I say something to someone they always follow with a ‘what?’, indicating that they didn’t hear me. That’s just how I am, I’m very soft spoken, if ever speaking at all. I have never really raised my voice before, and I just did, to Derek.

I groaned and opened the door to my house. My headache was getting bigger and I just wanted to go upstairs, lay on my stomach and sleep. It’s kind of upsetting that is what I want to do on my birthday.

“Baylin, you’re here!” I heard my father yell from the kitchen. He soon appeared at the stairway that I was groggily walking up on and cleared his throat. “Some people are here to see you.” He added.

I turned around and raised my eyebrow. Someone was here to see me? No one ever came to my house to visit besides well, Derek and Avery, but that's only sometimes.

“Who?” I asked.

“Barbara.” He replied and I widened my eyes in disbelief. My dad has been dating this Barbara character for quite a long time now and never mentioned anything as to me meeting her, but then all of a sudden she’s here, in my kitchen, getting ready to meet me?

“Oh.” Was all I could manage to say, but then spoke up again once I realized something. “Wait, you said people. Who else is here?” I asked. My dad fidgeted awkwardly and I suddenly realized I got my ‘fidgeting when I’m nervous’ attribute from him.

“Her son.” He replied. I raised my eyebrows and suddenly my head began to throb some more.

“Son?” I asked. “You never mentioned she had a son.”

“I know.” He replied and leaned his head towards the kitchen. “Now come and greet them right now.” He said sternly. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

Ugh, I just want to go upstairs, and SLEEP.

I followed my dad into the kitchen and was greeted by the back of some tall boy who looked like he was drinking something and reading a newspaper clipping on my kitchen wall. And a pretty blonde woman standing before me, smiling. She had a slight resemblance to my mother, and that is probably why my father liked her so much.

“Hi! You must be Baylin!” She said excitedly and I was taken aback by her enthusiasm and also at the fact that she knew who I was. I never thought of my father to be someone who would mention me in regular conversation, as bad as that sounds. “I’m Barbara.” She stated and stuck her hand out, I reached out and shook it, and quickly stepped back into place by my Dad. This wasn’t awkward at all...

“Come on, say hello.” My father said with a firm tone in his voice. I felt like I was a young child being forced to be sweet and say hello. Like parents did to their kids when they were younger. The kid would always look down shyly, give a small wave and say ‘Hi’ as quiet as they could. It’s kind of depressing how that is exactly what I’m about to do. So much for being an adult.

“Hi.” I replied and gave a small wave. I looked up and saw Barbara smiling hugely and then give herself a slight ‘smacking the forehead with palm of hand’ gesture. Obviously something dawned on her.

“Oh! And this is my son.” She replied. “Dear, stop chugging that water and turn around to greet Baylin.”

The boy turned around and I almost choked on air. I widened my eyes while looking at the boy in front of me.

“Ryan!?”