Say Anything

“I still can’t believe you got a scholarship there.” Avery said while dangling her head off of the end of my bed. I decided I’d skip school today, knowing that I’d just get continuous glares from students, just like I did at the art show. So, Avery came over after school to see me instead, and now here we were, lying on my bed in comfortable silence.

I crawled over and joined her at the end of my bed and the blood immediately rushed to my face.

“I know,” I replied. “But, you got accepted there. So we’re basically going to go to the same school, except I won’t be paying for it.” I added and she laughed.

“You’re right.” She remarked.

We stayed like that for about five minutes. Just sitting in silence with our heads pounding because we were basically upside down. I saw Avery open her mouth several times to speak, but she would quickly close it. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow, telling her to ‘spill it out already!’.

“I think you should go to him.” She finally said. I sat up and held my head due to the dizziness, but quickly recovered and looked down at her.

“What?” I asked. She sat up also and soon enough we were facing one another.

“I think you should go see Derek.” She replied. I looked down at my hands and she sighed, “Baylin, we both know that you care for him. I’ve known forever.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Every time I hinted about liking him, you would tense up and get all hostile. Yeah, I liked him, but I knew he only had eyes for you. I would see the way he looked at you, and it wasn’t a ‘we’re buddy buddy’ look.” She stated.

“Wait, if you knew he had feelings for me, why did you continue to tell me you liked him?” I asked curiously.

“To make you jealous so you would realize you were in love with him,” She replied and shrugged. “I know I made you jealous, but you were still so oblivious. Baylin, I know you feel the same way about him, just like you told me you did for MM. Derek is MM. It’s like a monster love package all rolled into one!” She added. I just laughed, placed my elbow on my knee, and my head on my hand. “Well, what are you still doing here?!” Avery exclaimed, “Go, go!”

I just sat where I was and fidgeted nervously. “I don’t know.” I replied.

“Oh come on.” Avery said and pushed me with her hands. I fell off of my bed and landed on my back with a loud thump.

“What was that?!” I asked while getting up angrily.

“Did I knock any sense into you yet?” Avery asked and gave out a small smile. She then got up and led me out of my room and down the stairs.

“I caann'tt.” I whined and stopped in front of the couch of my living room.

“Yes, you can.” Avery pleaded. I shook my head no and sat down stubbornly on the couch.

“Avery, he lied to me, so much. I can’t just go act like everything is fine.” I replied. Just then my father walked into the room and stopped in between us.

“What are you girls up to?” He asked.

“Oh nothing, just arguing.” Avery said and smiled.

“Well, that’s... nice.” He said and stepped over by me. He then placed a small brown box in my lap. “This was crashed all over the living room floor. I picked it up, but decided against throwing it away because I saw the box it came in and realized it was a gift. It wasn’t for me, so it’s obviously for you.”

I stared down at the frame and remembered throwing it on the ground in anger.

“Well, I’m going out. Be careful alright?” He said and I nodded. “Bye, sweetie.” He added and left the house.

“It seems like you two are getting along better now.” Avery said and sat down on the couch by me.

“Yeah, ever since I did what I did, he’s been more of a father to me now, I guess.” I replied. I looked down at the frame that was still broken, but saw that one white paper I ignored before. I grabbed it and realized there was writing on it.

‘Bay,

Fear holds a disguise for those who choose it to, and soon enough when they want to overcome that fear, they realize that the mask of disguise is harder to take off than expected.

D.A.W'

I just stared at the piece of paper.

D.A.W.

Derek Andrew Woods.

He was trying to tell me. He was trying to hint to me that it was him. He wanted me to know but was afraid of completely revealing himself. Afraid that I’d deny him.

“I-I’ve got to go.” I stated and with that, slipped on my shoes and bolted out of the door. I heard Avery yell after me but I just ignored her and sprinted down my street and onto Derek’s. I couldn’t even feel anything, it was like my body was taking over and was forcing me to run to his house at full speed.

When I got there I was out of breath. I knocked on the door, but no one answered. I looked in the driveway and saw that his car was there, so he was obviously here, unless his friends picked him up to go somewhere. But he had majorly indicated that he pretty much hated all of his friends, so I doubted it.

I suddenly knew where he was, and once again my legs were taking over and leading me through the woods at the back of his house. I could feel a pain in my ribs from running too fast and too quickly, but tried my best to ignore it. I finally reached the tree house and began to climb up the ladder. I stopped and took a deep breath before making it to the top. I looked in and saw Derek sitting there with the back of his head against the wall. One of his knees was propped up and the other was just laying there limp. He looked completely deep in thought, but immediately snapped out of his daze when he saw me standing there.

“Hi.” I said quietly and hunched over to walk in and sit down.

“Hi.” He replied and looked down at his fingers. He glanced at me a few times before sighing. “Listen, Baylin-“

“Don’t say anything.” I replied. “Can you just do one thing for me?” I asked. He looked over at me and raised his eyebrows.

“What?” He asked.

“Play me the song you wrote for me.” I replied. He gave me a faint smile before grabbing my hand and leading me out of the tree house. I felt a jolt inside of me when he touched my hand, and immediately knew what it meant.

Derek interlaced his fingers with mine while leading me back to his house. Once we were inside he led me up the stairs and into a room that I remember being in a lot when we were little.

“I remember this.” I stated while looking at the room. Inside was a drum set that Derek obviously moved inside, a large gorgeous black piano, and pictures of him and his mother. “Me, you and your mom would come in here and she’d always play us the piano.” I stated and looked around. “But I don’t remember you ever knowing how to play.”

“I taught myself after she died.” He replied quietly and sat down at the stool in front of the piano. I stood where I was at and just stared at his back. He turned around and looked at me before cracking a small smile. “Aren’t you coming?” He asked.

I smiled and sat down by him before he glanced at me and then turned back to the piano to play. His fingers swiftly moved over the keys, and I immediately saw his mother in him. The song involved no words, but I don’t think it needed them. It was beautiful, swift and melodic.

He continued to play it and tears welled in my eyes. I finally realized why he loves piano so much. It’s because it reminds him of his mother. It was a way he could subconsciously hold on to her.

He finally stopped and looked at me.

“Sorry if it wasn’t very go-“

Before he could finish, I leaned forward and placed my lips onto his. He raised his eyebrows in surprise but immediately cupped the side of my face with his hands and kissed me back. I never realized how much I had loved Derek until just that moment. That is why I felt so alone when he stopped being friends with me because it was like a huge chunk of me had been stolen. I loved everything about MM and I love everything about Derek. I love the way he smiles whenever I crack a joke at him and how he always walks around with such confidence, when I’m the only one who can see that he’s not as confident as he’s letting on. I love how he pushes my bangs back with his hands because he hates seeing my hair in my eyes. I love how when he’s deep in thought, he scrunches his eyebrows together. I love him. I love him.

We pulled apart and I rested my forehead against his. He leaned forward and kissed me once more before pulling me on his lap. I laughed and rested my hands around his neck.

“I think I’ve wanted to do that for years.” He said and I smiled. I placed my head against his again and looked him in the eyes.

“Derek?”

“Mm?” He asked and kissed my forehead.

“I love you.”

He stopped and looked at me before breaking out into a complete grin and wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me close. I knew that I didn’t want to be anywhere at that moment besides where I was with him.

It’s crazy how I could learn so much in such a short matter of time. If anyone had told me just a mere two months ago that I would be sitting on top of Derek’s lap on a piano bench kissing him and telling him I loved him, I would have laughed in their face and told them ‘no way’. I would say that Derek and I would never be friends again and that I think he’s despicable, even though I knew I’d be lying and I was secretly dying to just have him look at me. Or I could have just possibly not even spoken at all.

I would have never expected my life to change so much.

Derek pulled away and stood up while my legs were still wrapped around his waist. I clamped my arms around his neck to make sure I wouldn’t fall as he began to walk out of the room and down the stairs all while holding onto me.

“Where are we going?” I asked while resting my head on his shoulder.

“Back to the tree house.” He replied.

I laughed as he led me back to the tree house where all of our childhood memories were in. The place where we would sit and just laugh at each other while doing funny faces. The place where we would both cry, laugh and argue in. The place that we both knew to be our haven.

He let me down at the foot of the ladder and I immediately climbed upwards towards the tree house but stopped once I realized he wasn’t following me.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked. “Or are you just checking out my ass?” I added and saw him grin.

“I’ll be back.” He replied while raising his finger into a ‘one minute’ sign. He began to walk away but stopped and looked back up to me. “And yes, I was checking out your ass.” He stated and jogged away back towards his house. I laughed and walked inside to sit down. I turned on the television and once again saw the little cartoon playing. I smiled as I watched the chicken and pig walking around the barn and then realized that it wasn't too much of a bad cartoon after all.

Ten minutes had passed and Derek still wasn’t there and as lame as this sounds, I was missing every minute he was gone.

I suddenly heard a loud thump and an ‘ow’ and looked over to see Derek rubbing his head with one of his hands. The other one was behind his back.

“You alright?” I asked. He nodded and walked over to sit by me. “What’s in your hand?” I asked. He just smiled, leaned down, kissed me quickly and then pulled his arm out to reveal a bowl of nachos. I laughed as he placed it down in front of us.

“I told you I liked nachos.” He remarked and grabbed a chip. I smiled while taking one myself and eating it. I then sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

“You know,” He began. “Fellerton is only 45 minutes from Freemont.”

“I know.” I replied and turned up to look at him. “You’re not going to go drive off to college and forget about me, are you?” I asked. He turned to me and lifted my chin up to meet me eye to eye.

“I’ve already let you slip through my fingers once. I’m never going to let it happen again.” He replied and kissed me once more.

Right then and there, I knew that he was telling me the truth. That no matter what, and no matter who, our friendship will be back like it used to be, except more so. Derek’s mother always told us that we’d be together one day, but we’d just laugh at her and shrug it off. But now we knew that she was right. She saw something in us, something special. And I see something in Derek. Something that I think I had always been capable of seeing, but was too blind to truly realize.