Say Anything

That whole night I had stayed up, completely engulfed in thoughts of that letter. It just baffled me that someone would even be remotely interested in me. I didn’t even think that anyone chose to know who I was.

I turned over on my bed to lie on my stomach and continued to eye the paper, as if staring at it would give me more incentive on who wrote it.

Yeah, didn’t happen.

Of course, me actually being a part of the girl species, my mind began to wander into the physical prosperities of this boy. I slowly stopped and frowned at the thought of him actually being a complete nerd who sits in the corner and watches people. But then again, that could very well be me. So I guess we would fit together like glue.

Sad, really.

I sighed, sat up on my bed and turned to my left to see that one bottle of pills haunting me. They had been sitting in the same spot for about three days now. Three days I hadn’t taken them. I was trying my best to quit swallowing pills unless it was completely necessary. But part of me couldn’t stand it anymore. All this worrying about this stupid boy who was probably leaving the note in my locker as a joke was taunting me. I grabbed the bottle while my hands shook slowly. I took out a Vicodin, placed it in my hand and threw my head backwards to swallow it. I then repeated the process two more times, laid down on my back and closed my eyes.

Ever since I had gotten in a car accident with my father about a year ago, I had gotten addicted to pain killers. I had broken my leg from the accident, and was told to take pain killers for it. The instant they entered my body, the pain from my broken leg was completely gone, and to think that could happen all the time was just amazing to me. So, I continued. Soon enough, it helped all my emotional problems too. Vicodin was my best friend.

I have been trying to only use it to decrease my stress, but I’ve been realizing that lately I have been taking them for no reason.

A sudden warmth fell over me as I tilted my head to the side. After a while, all my worries faded away, and I slowly drifted into a deep sleep.

-x-

I lazily walked to my locker the next morning and opened it slightly, secretly wishing I would see a familiar baby blue envelope. I almost squealed for joy once I saw the familiar colored letter fall onto the floor. I picked it up, turned it over and opened it as slowly as I could. Basically just building the suspense because nothing remotely this exciting has ever happened to me in my life.

Bay,

Um, how are you? Kind of funny how that’s the only thing I can really think of asking you at this moment.

I saw you read my letter after school yesterday and I could tell by your reaction that you were completely surprised. And I just want to lay it out on the line right now that no, this isn’t a joke.

I don’t know really why I am leaving you these letters or what benefit it would give me, but I just had the sudden impulse to do it. Have you ever felt that way? Where your whole mind takes over your body and you just have to do what you never thought you physically would? I guess that’s what I’m doing with these letters. I feel the sudden urge to try to get close to you. You’re unlike any other girl that I’ve seen. You’re different than the annoying girls that have surrounded me at this school.

I wish I could just tell you who I am instead of being a pansy about this whole thing. But I think you’d probably be completely repulsed by my identity, so I’d rather choose to remain a mystery, at least for a while.

-Labels should remain on cereal boxes-

My mouth was open again. This boy is interested in me. It was just such a weird concept.

I frowned but then suddenly remembered that he mentioned that he saw me when I opened the first letter yesterday, so I whipped my body around and looked in all directions, trying to find a glimpse of him. But kids were surrounding me, none looking the up-most suspicious. I rested my hands at my side, leaned my head against the locker and closed by eyes. I wanted to know who this person was. It was killing me.

“Why hello, Baylin.” I heard a voice say behind me. I quickly spun my body around to see Alex Carson grinning stupidly. His tousled dirty blonde hair was covering his forehead and his dark blue eyes were eying the note in my hand. “What is that?” He asked.

I just stood there and fidgeted awkwardly. This has been the first time he had ever tried to have a conversation with me, besides those horrible notes him and his stupid friends decided to throw at me every other freaking day.

I turned my back to him and quickly stuffed the note in my locker and closed it shut before he could even catch a glimpse of it. I turned back around and looked down at my feet and heard him smirk.

“Trying to hide something?” He asked. I just looked down at my shoes and didn't even respond. Alex reached his hand under my chin and forced me to look up at his face, but I quickly snatched my head out of his grasp and looked back down at the ground, causing him to let out a small laugh. I cringed and balled my hands into fists, seriously wanting to punch this guy out for nearly forcing me to pay attention to him. “Is someone getting angry?” He asked, glancing at my hands.

I just sighed and stepped to the right to get away from him, but he grabbed my shoulder to spin me around and face him. I groaned and tried to pull away but his hands stayed firmly on my shoulders. I started to feel a little dizzy, but tried my best to regain my composure.

“Tell me to leave you alone.” He said calmly, obviously enjoying my sense of complete fear and uneasiness. I tried to get out his grasp again, but he wouldn’t let me. “Tell me to stop.” He stated amusingly.

“St-" I began and I saw his eyebrows raise in entertainment. He was enjoying this. What an ass hole.

“Come on! Say something.” He remarked. I closed my eyes and started to become sick to my stomach. I was just about to speak when someone shoved Alex away from me violently.

“Dude, leave her alone!” I heard a boy say. I looked to see Alex's best friend, Derek Woods staring at Alex angrily. Derek then turned his attention back to me. “You okay?” He asked me. I merely just nodded, feeling more dizzy and anxious than I did before.

“I was just messing with her, man. Chill.” Alex remarked angrily to Derek.

“No, you were going too far.” Derek replied seriously. “You don’t just-”

I didn’t even stay long enough to hear them finish the conversation. I ran away from them as quick as a I could, and headed straight towards the bathroom to vomit.