Say Anything

I was fidgeting in my seat in Mrs. Fowler’s class, wanting it to be over so I could go back to my locker to retrieve MM’s letter. Just the thoughts of him revealing more about his identity made me nervous with excitement. I distractedly looked down at my hands and observed the ring I had on my pointer finger. It had been a ring Derek gave me at our 8th grade graduation. He told me he got it at this cool thrift store he went to with his mom on vacation, and it reminded him of me. I wonder why I had kept it on my fingers all these years. I guess I just never decided to take it off. Sad how I’m a senior, turning eighteen in two months, and I haven’t taken a ring off of my finger since the summer before high school.

I eyed it once again and used my other hand to try to take the ring off. The task was harder than I thought. I kept tugging and tugging, but it didn’t budge. I sighed once I realized that it wasn’t going to come off and then felt a pair of eyes on me.

I slowly looked up to see Derek staring at me hurtfully.

He then looked back down when he realized that I had met his gaze and pulled out a notebook paper, wrote on it angrily and then tossed it to me. Alex looked at him questioningly, noticing what Derek did, but Derek just shrugged and winked at his friend. Alex laughed and looked over to see my reaction, probably thinking it was another hate letter. I opened it up and read it slowly.

‘Why are you trying to take off the ring?’

I looked back up at Derek in shock, wondering how he really remembered he had given it to me. I mean it has been almost 4 years...

I saw Alex laugh and nudge Derek slightly, probably thinking that Derek said something like ‘Baylin, go die!’ in the letter.

I looked back down and placed the ball in front of me, not even bothering to write back.

-x-

After the bell rang for lunch, I bolted out of the classroom and headed towards my locker. When the baby blue envelope fell out I almost cheered for joy. It’s kind of sad that this is what I look forward to the most.

Bay,

So, I am sitting here in class, and I am freezing. I just don’t understand why they won’t turn on the heaters.

Just thought I’d let you know about my current state of being.

I never knew you and Derek Woods were friends. And that’s really stupid of him to ditch you like that once you guys entered high school, but I guess like they said, high school defines who you are, so maybe he really isn't that great of a person. I don’t understand why he would randomly try to start talking to you again; maybe you should ask him about it?

I know you’d probably get angry at me for suggesting that but I guess I’m the type of person where I just think people always have an ulterior motive, there’s always something behind their actions. Maybe he has reasoning. But I’m sure his reasoning won’t be good enough for all the things he’s done to you.

Anyways, enough talking about this guy. You got me going there for a second thinking that I’d learn more about you. But I see you’re still trying to remain somewhat mysterious, like me. I think you're doing a pretty good job with it because I want to know you probably much more than you want to know me, even though I do have a step on you, knowing who you are and all.

But, since you insist, I guesss I’ll tell you one more thing about me...

I really like nachos.

Love,
MM

-Sometimes being ignorant is better than knowing it all-

I sighed and groaned frustratingly. Fantastic. He likes nachos. That brings me so much closer to finding out who he is! Not.

I closed my eyes sadly, shut my locker and walked around the corner to see that one artsy girl sitting by herself again. I think she mentioned her name was Avery. I plopped down by her and rested my head on the freezing cold table she was sitting on.

“Hello?” She asked and laughed a little.

“Hi.” I muttered exasperatingly.

“Something wrong?” She asked. I sighed and looked over at her for really the first time. She had fair skin that was practically perfect, no blemishes or anything. She looked like she hid behind her glasses though, and her light brown hair was thrown back into a messy ponytail.

“Everything.” I replied while lifting my knees up to my chest to lay my head on them.

“Oh my God, he is so gorgeous.” I heard Avery say randomly. I looked up and converted my gaze to where Avery's was only see Derek standing with friends. “He has that whole bad boy thing going for him, don’t you think?” She added. I groaned again and I heard her intake a breath. “Holy crap, he’s coming over here.” She said quietly. I just placed my chin on my knees and looked straight forward until my eyes were suddenly greeted by a pair of legs. I looked up to see Derek looking down at me, grinning slightly.

“Hey.” He finally said. “Can I talk to you?”

“Why?” I asked. I saw Avery look at me in the corner of my eye. She looked like she was trying to telepathically scream to me, ‘You know him!?’

“Please, Baylin.” He said firmly. I sighed and stood up and he grabbed my hand to lead me to a secluded area in the school where no one was.

Figures.

He finally stopped and turned to me.

“What do you want?” I asked annoyingly.

“Baylin, why were you trying to take off the ring?” He asked again and ruffled his hands through his tousled brown hair.

“Because it doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” I muttered.

“If it didn’t mean anything to you anymore, then you wouldn’t have had it on for 4 years.” He remarked angrily.

“Why are you so concerned about this?” I asked. “Why all of a sudden do you care if I’m okay or not? You can’t just randomly decide to talk to me again and expect me to go along with it, Derek.” I stated. He dug his hands in his pockets and tried to make eye contact with me, but I quickly looked down.

“I know.” He replied after a while of silence.

“Alright, then get away from me unless you have a solid reason as to why you pulled me over here.”

“I have a solid reason.” He responded quickly. I crossed my arms in front of my chest and raised an eyebrow.

“And what’s that?” I asked. He looked at me for a second before turning and leaning his forehead against a wall by us, obviously thinking long and hard on his explanation. He stayed like that for a while and I crossed my arms in front of my chest impatiently.

“You know what? Why don’t you just think about that for a bit. Because I’m sure you don’t have a real explanation as to why you’re attempting to be friends with me again. You probably just want to make yourself feel better about what you did to me. Clear your conscience. I understand. So how about this, Derek? I forgive you for all the shitty things you have done to me, okay? There, I said it. Now you can go back to your oh so wonderful life and continue to ignore me and make fun of me like you usually do, but now you won’t have to feel like shit about it. Happy now?” He took his head off the wall and lowered his head at me.

“No, I’m not happy, Baylin.” He said sternly.

“Well, then I can’t help you.” I said quietly and began to pull on the ring hard. I finally yanked it hard enough until it was loosely placed in my hand. I dropped it on the ground and stepped away before he could say anything else.