I'm Nothing Without You

The sun glared through the small window above my bed and cast a ray of light across my legs. I stared at my bedroom door, waiting for him to come and apologize for last night. This was the pattern that we had gotten ourselves in. I would come home, angry at Spencer for something little he had done, and he would let his anger get the best of him. Every morning he would walk into my room with a cup of coffee in his hand and say he was sorry. That was our tradition. This morning wasn’t any different, I thought.

After minutes of nervously picking at my nails, I swung my legs over the side of my bed and made my way to our connecting bathroom. I pressed my ear up to the door leading into Spencer’s bedroom and held my breath. Silence.

I opened the door slowly and peered into his messy room. His bed was unmade and there were clothes strung across his floor but Spencer was nowhere to be found. I made my way back into my room and I picked up the wrinkled grey sweatshirt that was lying on the foot of my bed. I slipped it on and walked out into the hallway. I stopped and listened for any indication that Spencer was here but only heard silence.

I turned the corner and stepped onto the cold tiled floor of our small kitchen. There was a small piece of paper on the table held down by my large coffee cup that says ‘Hers’ in some fancy cursive font. Memories of the day that Spencer and I got our matching ‘his and hers’ mugs flooded my mind and I couldn’t help but smile. I picked up the note and sighed when I realized that Spencer had already left for work.

Don’t wait up. – Spence

I picked up my empty coffee cup and placed it back in the cabinet. It was only ten in the morning and I had already lost my appetite. I made my way into the living room and fell onto the couch lazily. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly. I rested my head on my knees and listened to the low hum of the air conditioner.

“…If you’re gonna be somebodys heartbreak, if you’re gonna be somebodys mistake..”

I jumped at the sound of my phone and ran into my room to retrieve it from its charger. I glanced at the caller I.D. and rolled my eyes when I realized it was Ryan.

“Hello?” I knew my voice sounded disinterested but hearing from Ryan wasn’t on my to do list.

“How did last night go?” Ryan sounded winded and I could hear the faint roar of an electric guitar in the background.

“Just like every other night.” I walked back into the living room and leaned against the arm of the leather couch Spencer received for his birthday from mom a few years back.

“I wanted to apologize for what happened last night, I know I shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of your family situation.”

I smiled. “You were just trying to help, and I appreciate that.”

“Well, listen. Spencer told me to babysit you today while he was at work so you will be hanging out with me today.”

“Babysit? He does know I’m eighteen right?”

Ryan chuckled and I heard the slam of a car door. “Just be ready in ten minutes.”

With that he hung up and I glanced down at my pajamas. I groaned and ran into my room. I slipped off my cotton shorts and sweatshirt and pulled on the jean shorts I had worn yesterday in a hurry. I rummaged through my drawers franticly and decided on an old t-shirt I had gotten from a college visit at UCLA. I slipped the t-shirt over my head and pulled my hair up into a high pony tail. I glanced at myself in the mirror and shrugged knowing that Ryan didn’t care what I looked like.

The doorbell rang and I smirked at Ryan’s incapability of calculating the correct time of arrival. I slid on my old navy flip flops and grabbed my leather jacket off of my computer chair.

I raced to the front door and opened it to become face to face with someone who was not Ryan. I stared at the attractive man standing in front of me and glanced behind him at Ryan’s old beat up Volvo.

“You must be Spencer’s sister.” The man’s voice startled me and I smiled a closed mouth smile at him. He looked to be about my brother’s age and I figured he must be a friend of his.

“Spencer isn’t here right now…” I let my voice trail off when I realized that this guy was holding the keys to Ryan’s car. “Do I know you?”

He chuckled and stuck out his large hand towards me. “I believe we were just getting to that, I’m Brendon, Ryan and Spencer’s friend.”

I shook his hand and shoved my hands into the abnormally small pockets of my shorts and rocked back on my heels. “Did Ryan send you to pick me up?”

Brendon smiled. “He said you knew I was coming but I’m guessing you didn’t.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled back at Brendon. I couldn’t help but notice he had extremely straight teeth. I shook the thought out of my head and shrugged, “Sounds like something Ryan would do.”

He glanced awkwardly at his feet and then back up at me. “So are you going to come outside or are we going to stand here all day?”

I silently kicked myself for being so awkward and stepped out into the summer heat. We made our way to Ryans car and he opened the passenger door for me before walking over to the driver’s side. I blushed and slid into the air conditioned car. We pulled out of my driveway and slowly made our way down the street.

“So, how do you know Spencer?” I stuck my arm out of the window and let the cool breeze envelope my hand.

“We met a few weeks ago when I moved back here through Ryan, I dated his cousin for a few years so we were around each other at family gatherings and we became fast friends.” Brendon slid on a pair of Ray bans and I smiled to myself.

“So what happened?”

Brendon glanced over at me. “With what?”

“Your girlfriend, did she move here with you?” I knew I was pushing for more information but there was something about Brendon that intrigued me.

Brendon gripped the steering wheel tightly. “No, she is still back in Vegas.”

I looked at Brendon out of the corner of my eye and I could tell he was upset. “I’m sorry I brought it up…”

He shook his head and smiled. “It’s okay, Camellia. I have to face it sometime, right?”
I glanced back out the window as we pulled up to Ryan’s apartment building. Brendon turned off the car and we sat there in silence. After a few beats, Brendon turned to me and said, “I know you have been dealing with some hard stuff lately…and I want you to know that I’m here to talk if you ever need to.”
I studied his face and realized that he was being sincere. I sighed and averted my eyes back to Ryan’s apartment. “If there has been one thing I have learned throughout my life it’s this: everyone
leaves.”
Brendon was silent as I opened the car door and stepped out into the sun.