Through My Eyes

I knew I had never been a normal girl. If there is such thing because to be honest who actually is normal and what does it mean? But as a kid when I was angry or scared about something I used to drink hot water, I know it was weird but I thought to myself at this exact moment maybe if it helped then than maybe it will help now. I rummaged about in the cupboard for a cup, boiled the kettle and filled the cup and took it into the front room. I fell onto the long brown sofa I snuggled up into a blanket and switched the telly on, depressed. I glared out of the window, it slowly started heavily raining, my eyes started falling to the pitter patter sound, I love the sound of rain and I knew that soon enough I would being staring at the inside of my eyelids. It wouldn’t work, I couldn’t fall into unconsciousness, I was truly restless. The door went as I peered up, it was Tom appeared at the door, I stubbornly looked back at the T.V.

“ Hey” he said his voiced filled with guilt.
“Oh hi” I replied still not looking at him.
He anxiously made his way over to a brown leather chair not far from me.
“Look I’m really sorry about earlier… about like coming onto you. It was the fear talking over I guess I really am scared about losing her..”
I took a long pause.
“I’m scared too” I admitted, sighing.
I took his car keys off of the coffee table.
“Come on lets go out for a bit I need to get out of this place.”
He nodded.
“Give them to me” a sharp voice ordered coming from inside my head.
“Go away!” I said aloud.
“what?” Tom questioned.
“Did you not hear that?”
He listened in and shook his head. Chloe flashed up behind his chair.
“ just give me them now or he dies. It’s the only way I’m getting out of here.” She said again without moving her lips. We were mind reading. Both of us.
“I thought you were gone.” I thought.
“Not quite” she replied. Again not moving her lips.
I started heavily coughing.
“Excuse me a second Tom.”
I grabbed her firmly by the arm and shoved her through the door.
“What are you playing at?” I raged.
She shrugged her shoulders.
“First you try to poison me and now you’re trying to have me lose one of my best mates. It’s not on”
“Just give them to me and I’ll be gone I promise.”
She held one pale empty hand out to me.
“I’ll have you lose everything else as well.”
I slid my hand down to my left jean pocket: there was a bump where the keys were. “What do you mean?” I asked.
She stared at me, her eyes were a bright piercing green.
“I’ll tell him everything I Know. What you are. I’ll tell him everything”
“No don’t do that, I don’t wanna lose him I’ve already lost Harry and I just don’t wanna.. hey how do you know all of that?”
“ I knew that you and Harry were an item and that he wouldn’t be able to stay away from blood like yours.”
“So it’s true then it really did happen to you, he really did do it”
She nodded at me.
“You don’t have to lose him just hand me the keys”
I held my hand into my pocket. She tensed her face.
“what’s going on?” Asked a cautious Tom.
It had stopped raining and the strong sunlight shone brightly through the window.It caught her but luckily I managed to blend into the shadows. Protecting myself.
The loudest scream I had ever heard sounded to my ears,she fell to the ground,dropping the keys I had given her a few seconds before.Her body simply fell into fire and melted into the ground,she turned to ash.

“Bloody hell!” he yelled.
“ What was that all about? I’m starting to feel woozy”
His legs started flinching and he started to wobble but I kept him on his feet.
“That was, nothing hun you fine okay” I assured cushioning his fall.
I held him tenderly in my arms. I quickly shut the door and helped him back to the spare room. After about an hour and a half he finally came to.
“Oh god I was worried, Tom are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah right as rain!” He replied, sarcastic as ever.
“Good” I laughed.
“So do you want anything, a hot drink some antibiotics and thing at all?”
He stared into to the open air above him.
“Hmmm, well I do want my phone” He giggled.
“Charming! You’ve been out for nearly two hours and the first thing you ask for is your iPhone! Christ Tom!”
I walked over to the table and picked up his phone for him.
“Thanks!” he said annoyingly.
“Don’t mention it.” I answered cursing under my breath.
“Ever so kind of you” He smiled.
“Don’t push it.”
He laughed at me and was silent for a few seconds. And then he said
“can I have a hug now?”
I hesitated.
“well okay then seeing as you asked so nicely.”
I held him gently it my chest, my hand warmly stroking his back.
“What’s the time?” He yawned.
“Quarter past four.”
“oh I haven’t spoken to her in ages do you reckon they reckon that we have got it off by now?” He didn’t wait for an answer.
“Maybe I should text her.”
“But why do that when you can go round and see her?” I asked, confused.
He shrugged.
“coz you haven’t got the balls?” I sniggered jokingly.
“ NO! I’ll do it If you do it.” He compromised.
“What you mean like talk to Harry?”
He nodded.
“No! that’s blackmail!” I argued.
“Well then I guess you just haven’t got the balls. But if you want him back I mean if you really want him back that bad”
“I do and You know I do.. but what if he doesn’t believe me what if he thinks I’m a lying bullshiter?”
“He won’t.. you’re not scared are you?” He jeered.
“NO!”
“Well then get out there and talk to him!”
“Okay! But you go and speak to Emma first..” I tried.
“other way round” he quickly added.
“SHOT GUN”
I felt a lump blocking my throat.
“Off you pop then” he beamed.
“okay, okay I’m going!”
I strode down the corridor, casual and confident but as I was getting closer to their door my legs went weak and my throat burned. I made a few small paces back and forth in front of the door.I stopped pacing and finally faced it.
“Come on don’t be a coward.”
I pinched the skin on my wrist, twisted the door knob and stepped briskly in. They stared at me: Zoe Danny and Harry. I went round silently giving them each a hug but when I got to Harry I put my arms out but then dropped them back down again.
“Can I talk to you for a second?”
I peered down at the floorboards.
“Yeah why not!” he answered.
“Cool”
I walked back over to the door.He stayed where he was.
“ Feet stuck to the floor or something?”
“Well whatever you wanna say you can say it in front of these guys” He said stubbornly.
“Well it’s actually kinda private.”
He sighed and dropped his arms loose.
“yes what is it?” he asked shutting the door.
“You know what! Listen I’ve been going crazy just hear me out.” I begged.
I put my hand out to touch his chest. He moved away instead of the usual pulling me in tightly .
“Why are you being like this?” I asked.
“I’m not being like anything but you and Tom were acting strange together I mean is there something I should know?”
The look on his face was intimidating.
“You know the relationship between me and Tom like the back of your hand!”
He sighed and rolled his eyes at me.
“ I mean yeah in that interview I did admit having a soft spot for him but the rest of it was lies! I want to be with you! I’ve always want to be with you.” My tone of voice getting softer and softer as I spoke.
“and you know what? I wanna be with you Too but if your sneaking around with Tom I don’t think I can trust you!” His voice was solid.
“BUT THAT’S THE THING I HAVEN’T BEEN SNEAKING AROUND WITH TOM!”
Just then something caught my eye Dougie and Laura walked past the end of the corridor we were stood in.They we’re arm in arm and they both looked pretty hyped up. We glared at them.
“What’s up with them?” I stumbled, curious.
“I dunno but they’re acting a bit strange do you reckon they’re best mates?” He asked sarcastically.
“ oh Come on just talk to me”
…“I have nothing to say.”
He looked down at the floor. Disappointment filled his eyes. Then suddenly changing his state of mind,seeming quite confident he lifted his head back up. He moved closer to me and whispered in my ear:
“You know none of this would of ever happened if he had just watched his mouth.”
I started to twitch.
“This is a guy you’ve known for seven years and you’re not gonna listen to a word I say, you still don’t believe me?” No reply.
“Why do I even bother?”
He shrugged and walked casually back into the bedroom slamming the door behind him.
I sighed and kicked the wall. I banged my wrist against the doorframe, wanting to burst into floods of tears. So many depressing thoughts were spinning through my mind..
“go away!” I screamed.
My knees were weak and it was affecting my posture I was letting the whole situation and the heartache that was pounding in my chest get the better of me. I pressed my tightly hands against the wall trying to hall myself up.
Tom was still there when I got back.
“Have you been yet?” He nodded, lying through his teeth.
“No You haven’t.” I murmured again.
“ come I l just walked over to her and she walked away from me!” he whined.
He started to lose his composure. All of a sudden the stubborn look on his face that meant “ I couldn’t care less” Slowly faded.
“She wouldn’t even look at me.”
It was like a songbird being released from its cage. All his emotions came bursting out all at once. “I’m such a fucking idiot!” He kicked the bedpost, hard.
He fell onto the duvet, not saying another word. I skimmed my feet solidly across the ground and rested next to him, he stared at me, his eyes were bulging with all sorts of different emotions. I could read him so well. I took his head in my hand. He hugged me back painfully, he was so fragile. I felt as if I squeezed him to hard he would shatter into a million pieces and all his emotions would go flying out everywhere. I secured my hand onto his back and ran my fingers gently through his hair. And from that second we both stayed unbelievably silent it was like we were on two completely different worlds. It was the silence of two people , everything they wanted to say to defend themselves had already been said and it hadn’t made the slightest bit of difference. Minutes past and the whole house was in stillness, their wasn’t even a breath of wind outside, it was almost the silence that was frightening me.We were the only 2 survivors left. Suddenly I blinked and the world came back to me.
I wiped away one of his tears with my sleeve and toughened up my act letting my depressed mood float away I didn’t wanna look like a fool. I took his shoulders.
“You’re gonna walk right up there and you’re gonna tell her how it is! And if she doesn’t wanna hear it well then that’s her loss!” I ordered.
“No,No,No I can’t I really can’t.” He whimpered.
He melted deeply into the bed sheets. Once again I felt my throat tightening up.
“No I am not gonna lose it.” I thought to myself.
“OF COURSE YOU CAN.. YOU’RE A MAN NOT A MOUSE!”
He looked up at me with swollen red eyes from the tears he had been crying.
“You think so?” he answered softly.
“I know so!” I encouraged,slapping my thighs.
“You know what as long as you believe me I think I can do it!”
“OF COURSE YOU CAN,”
He ran out of the room. I sighed.
At least there was some hope for him. Emma was always a pushover when it came to guys. Harry might never see it in the light we were telling the truth. I ran into the bathroom,my hand began sweating and I was starting to shake. My face was shining and so were my arms and the top of my chest. I was sweating with fear. I shut my eyes and blinked my tears away. I opened the bathroom door and fell limply onto the ground. I crawled across the floor and hosted myself into bed. Forcing myself to go to sleep. I popped my head round the blanket and saw Tom stood in the doorway. He ran over to me. “are you okay?” He took my arm and slid down next to me. I put my hand on his chest. I wouldn’t even blink. He pushed back my fringe from my forehead with his hand.
“Boiling.. your boiling” He breathlessly whispered.
He stroked my forehead.

“Your shaking.”
“I’ll be absolutely fine.” I replied.
I shut my eyes and relaxed my whole body as he carried on stroking my forehead.
My eyes snapped open to the sound of chirping birds. I was still sweating all over. I peered under the bed quilt. I still had my clothes on from yesterday. I had had the most wonderful dream. Me and Harry had made up. I couldn’t remember anything that had happened the afternoon before. Still half unconscious I placed my hand on the bare chest of the man next to me. In the moment I thought he was mine. I thought he was my Harry.
“Ohhh baby did you have a nice sleep because I did..I do love you ya know.”
Just then heard the door go. I peered up. Emma and Harry were stood in the doorway both of them arms folded.
“Oh” Harry said sleepily.
“HARRY?” I yelled.
I looked at the man next to me. I made a long and hard blink. I kept my eyes shut for about 4 seconds until I opened them again. And as I did, I saw Tom. Eyes wide open looking as startled as I did. When I looked to the door again all of them were stood there. All speechless.
“ so you love him do you?” Harry remarked, hurt.
I dropped my jaw, shocked at my own words.
“Slut” I heard one of them mutter.
“This is really not what it looks like” I shrieked jumping up and standing on the bed to show them I was fully dressed.
“It’s really not” Tom repeated.
“yeah course not” Emma cried.
“ You know we came up here to apologise.. How stupid.”
“No,Listen I thought Tom was..” But they were already gone. I collapsed into the sheets and sighed. This is where I started to think.. “My life is actually falling apart.”
Tom sat up.
“Alright?” He asked.
“Shut up! Don’t talk to me!”I snapped.
“YOU IDIOT!”
I started hitting him madly with a pillow.
“How could you let this happen do you realise how bad that looked! It made me look like a right slut!”
He gulped.
“HURRY UP I NEED TO HEAR IT!”
“W-well.. when you were lying in bed you fell asleep on me and I just snuck in next to you.” He stumbled.
“I can’t believe it! And did you have to take your shirt off? THAT MADE IT LOOK EVEN WORST YOU KNOW!” I said softly but dangerously.
“OF COURSE I KNOW I’M NOT AN IDIOT!” He shouted back.
We were raising our voices at each other. I turned round and started swearing to myself.
Later I was down in the kitchen. I was sat down my leg was shaking I was more agitated now than ever before. I was watching Tom dishing up his breakfast it was a full fry up. He had the kettle boiling and the microwave on all at once. So many noises confused my mind. He placed a steaming china cup in front of me.
“There’s your coffee he whispered.”
“Shut up I’m trying to think.” I spoke in the softest tone of voice.
“You know I was just thinking..”
“I said be quiet!”……
“I know what you were gonna say anyway if only there was a way that we could get our hands on that tape.”
“We’ve just gotta make them realise, Ruby they know deep inside of them that nothing ever happened. I’m so lucky that Harry aint a mean person coz if there was he could easily beat me to a pole and rightly.”
I stayed silent.
“You know your right that is exactly what I was thinking if only we could get that tape”
“OH MY GOD WAIT A SECOND… Tom you are an actual legend!”
“I am?”
“I have the tape.. I got it after I had…” I quickly stopped talking once I had realised.
“After you had what?”
I kissed his cheek.
“So it aint a dumbass thing to say?”
“NO! I’m just glad because you gave me an idea!”
I suddenly started walking off.
“I’ll go get Harry!” I called back to him.
“I’ll GO AND GET EMMA.” He shouted back already running in the opposite direction.
I straightened my face and put on a serious face. I cautiously knocked but I certainly didn’t wait for an answer. I slowly pottered in.
“Oh” Emma spoke from the other side of the room.
“ don’t sound too excited. Tom’s looking for you” I replied.
“I can’t do this” I sighed attempting to walk out of the room.
“Wait..” Emma called out.
“What is there something you wanted to tell me?”
“Oh um I wanted to ask you and Harry to come downstairs we wanna show you something..”
“Do we have a choice?”
“ Well we’d rather you did come than if you didn’t”
“Okay. Alright then we’ll be down in a minute. Wait can we bring the others?”
“Well okay if you must”.
I ran downstairs and found the tape I slid it into the video player and re-winded it near to the end so we could all hear what they wanted to hear. The group of six of them waded in all at once.
“So come on then babes what is it that you wanted to show us?” Emma asked.
“Well I know like we’re not the most liked people at the moment and it’s because you all think.. oh just wait… The whole time the interview was happening she had us on film and I managed to get the tape At the end without her noticing it.”
“yeah right ”Emma muttered smugly to herself.
“You know what I do think she may be onto something.” Harry whispered.
I smiled all over.

I press play. And the minutes seemed to be passing as quickly as seconds as we listened closely to the banter between me and Tom and the wretched interviewer. All eyes were fixed upon the screen. And there it was, the moment of truth every other sound seemed muffled or blocked out of our minds completely. There was a deadly silence as the room held its breath. Bang, bang, bang went my heart. Drip drip, drip went the tap in the corner of the room. Everyone was seriously hypnotised by the screen.The two words everyone was listening for finally came.
“Just friends”
The atmosphere changed in the room that day. No one moved, no one even dared to breathe.
I thought a huge cheer was going to fill the room. Instead it was silenced by the guilt and the shock. Suddenly there manager Fletch opened the door smashing it against the wall.It made us all jump, shoulders were raised.
“Hey lads listen” his belting voice seemed to bounce off the walls.
Was he speaking to loudly or did he just sound that way because of the silence that had surrounded all eight of us for so long.
“Yeah mate just give us five minutes.” Tom whispered lightly touching Emma’s shoulder who was sat on the floor below him.
He was the first out of all of us to finally find his voice. Emma sighed and laughed forcing it out as she faked a smile to go with it.
“How stupid have I been?” She told herself.
Tom raised one eyebrow and a smile seemed to touch his lips ever so gently.They stared at each other and suddenly we all found the funny side of it and the whole room burst into peals of laughter. I felt and hand gently grab my finger I turned round and touched back. He leaned and relaxed his closed eyes. I did the same.