Give Me Love

Harry and I stayed in all day after Ed left, watching old horror films and laughing at crap the gore was, then feeling bad because that’s all they had to work with back then. I made pizzas for lunch eventually and at around midday the conversation started to run dry,

“So, what’s happening with you and Ed then?” Harry commented, giving me a wink,

“Nothing happened, I already told you this.” I rolled my eyes and picked up my cup of tea,

“Do you want something to happen?” He asked, scooting closer to me,

“I don’t know. I’m taking it one step at a time.”

“Why? He likes you I can tell!” Harry burst out,

“You said that about the last one.” I quietened my voice, regretting bringing it up.

“That was different.”

“How? It started just like Ed and I are starting. Nothing changes.” I snapped,

“April, what he did to you… Ed’s not like that, he’s a great guy!”

“But how am I supposed to know that?” I asked, I felt my brows furrowing and my eyes started to sting,

“James was a great guy when I first met him and look how that turned out.”

“I’ve known Ed for years, I know what he’s like and he is nothing like James.”

“Well I don’t know that, do I? Harry I’ve just met the guy.”

“So give him a chance! Just get to know him, let him try.” Harry looked at me, pleading.

“Why do you want us together so badly?”

“Because you two are my best friends, you’ve both had shit relationships in the past and I want the two of you to finally be happy.”

“And you think we’ll be happy together?” Harry nodded, “What makes you so sure?”

“Because you’ve got a lot in common, you get on well together. And I saw how you were looking at each other last night; you were both having a good time.”

“Harry, I have good times with you but that doesn’t mean we’d work in a relationship.”

“We almost did.”

“We were twelve.”

“Yeah, and your point is?”

“Your way of asking me out was proposing with a gummy ring.”

“It was a good idea at the time, and I thought you liked me in that way.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head lightly,

“Harry, I appreciate the gesture but I’m just not ready for another relationship.”

“It’s been a year; you can’t keep shying away from everyone who shows you a bit of interest.”

“Watch me.” I took another sip of my tea and sighed. Harry stood up abruptly,

“Well if you’re going to keep being a bitch about it, I’ll see you later.” He had already started walking out of my front door before I shouted out for him,

“How am I being a bitch?” I heard the door slam shut and let out a scream. Since when did boys have periods? I ran my hand through my hair and propped my head on the arm of the sofa. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the gummy ring proposal. He always gets embarrassed by that story. I let my head lull backwards and slid along the sofa so that I was lying down now. My eyes flickered to my telly that had switched itself back to the DVD menu and reached over to the coffee table for the remote, standing up as I clicked it off. I stretched, wondering what to do about Harry and why he was being grumpy with me. I picked up my phone, finding a new message from my girl best friend Sophie.
‘Hey baby cakes! You free today? Xxx’

‘Hello sweetie! Always free for you babes, meet me at coffee central in half an hour? Xxx’

I threw my phone onto the sofa and headed to the shower, grabbing some clean clothes on the way. I have tendency, like I’m sure most people do when they get in the shower, to over-think things about my life. Right then, I was over thinking me and Ed. Did he actually even like me? And if he did, why? Like, seriously I really am nothing special. I’m broken, unfixable, just plain crap really. Needless to say I got out of the shower before I completely depressed myself, pulling on some of the most comfy jeans I own and an old band shirt along with a dark grey hoodie, grabbing my handbag on the way out into the living room. I picked up my phone, seeing that Sophie had agreed on half an hour and saw that I still had 15 minutes left. I wandered back into my room and put on some make up, drying my hair a little with the dryer, switching it off with ten minutes left to spare.

I ran down the street, narrowly avoiding contact with the oncoming traffic on the road and made my why over to my favourite coffee shop where Sophie was surely waiting for me, two coffees already set on the table by the window, our usual spot.

“Hello you!” I greeted her as she stood up and gave me a warm hug,

“I haven’t seen you in years!” She squealed, pulling my tighter to her chest, I released her as she did me and we sat down facing each other.

“Soph, it’s been about a week.” I replied, laughing with her,

“Yeah I know, just feels like forever. What have you been doing that’s so much more important than seeing moi?” She smiled.

I told her about all the rehearsals and the sound check yesterday. I told her about Ed and close we were getting in such a short amount of time, she tutted and shook her head.

“Oh, Apey, Apey, Apey. Do you really think you should be thinking about dating again so soon? I mean, he’s probably really nice and everything, but what happened with you and James, I mean…”

“Well, I’ve moved on from that part of my life. I really like Ed, he’s charming, he’s sweet, and he makes me laugh. And I’m not looking for a relationship with him right now. I’ve told him I just want to be friends and when I’m ready for another boyfriend I’ll see how it goes with us.” I sat back in my chair with my coffee, letting it warm up my cold hands.

“Alright, but if it all goes to pot I’m gonna say ‘I told you so’.” She raised her eyebrows and picked up her phone, clearly reading a text. She let out a confused hum and furrowed her thin brows,

“What? Who is it?” I asked, I was always nosey when it came to Sophie and her gossip.

“Why aren’t you talking to Harry right now?” She shot her blue eyes up to meet mine,

“We’re not, not talking. He just sort of shouted at me then left, just because I haven’t text him since doesn’t mean I’m not talking to him.” I answered her simply, and then thought about it. “Why? What’s he said to you?” I sat up straight and leaned over the table,

“Nothing just that you weren’t talking.” She lied. I always knew when Sophie was lying to me; she’s been my best friend since we were six. We’ve been through the whole of school and college together and it was rare that we didn’t see each other for more than two days.

“Right, what did he actually say Soph?” I asked her again with a more serious look,

“He really wants you to go out with this Ed guy but you keep bringing up James and refusing.”

“I have a right to say who I want to date! So what if I’m not ready to have a boyfriend again, I just need some time to get my shit together and sort my life out right now before I go to Uni.”

“Smart girl! Boys are dicks anyway, you don’t need no man!” She pouted her pink lips and snapped her fingers in the infamous z-formation causing us both to chuckle.

“Like I said, I’ll see what happens when I’m actually ready for a relationship.” I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was almost one in the afternoon, meaning that I had work in an hour.

“Okay, but like I said if it messes up-“

“Yeah, yeah you told me so. I’ve gotta go Soph, I’m gonna be late for work soon.” I stood up and hugged her tightly,

“Are you still working at the youth centre?” She asked, slightly chuckling,

“Aye, pays the rent though. See you later babes.” I hugged her again and started to rush out of the café, hearing her shout a goodbye to me. I practically ran to my flat so that I could get dressed into my uniform and eat something before heading off to the local theatre where I was directing an under 12’s drama group.