If Only...

I wish I had a chance with him. I wish he loved me, and I wish I was his girlfriend rather than... whoever she is. I just wish that I was his.

I barely woke up in time for 11:11 this morning. But I did, and now that I'm awake, I have to face what happened last night. I am not very smart; I definitely shouldn't have said that. Now he's not going to talk to me again, I just know it.

I guess I need to turn my phone on. I'm sure I'll have a text or two from him saying not to talk to him anymore. I'm dreading it way too much, but I need to get it over with. I hold down the power button and let it turn on.

My phone turns on, and I see that I have six text messages and two missed calls. One text is from one of my few friends here. My only three friends in this town are triplets, Joseph, Harlow, and Anna. They want to come over, so I tell them they can in an hour. I check the calls next, which are both from Kamden. The other five texts are from Kam as well. The first says, "Mari..I'm sorry. Why are you angry?" The second says, "Please call me." The third: "You're not answering, Mar. Are you alright?" The fourth says, "Is it because I'm dating someone? Because I would choose you over Brielle in a heartbeat if you weren't so far away." The last text says, "Fuck... I just realized that you're probably asleep. Just... call me when you wake up, okay? I'm worried about you."

I take a moment to process it. Okay... he's sorry. He doesn't hate me. He likes me, although he won't be with me because of the distance... and he was probably just saying he likes me because he thought I was angry. And he wants me to call him. Which I guess I will in a moment; I need to do a couple things first.

First, I get dressed. Next, I make sure that my mom will allow my friends to come over. When she says yes, I go back to my room to tidy up a bit. After I finish this, I shakily pick up my phone and call Kamden. He answers quickly.

"Mari? You called! I was worried. I thought you weren't going to talk to me..." he is speaking quickly.

"H-hey... I did call." I say, sounding stupid.

"What happened last night?"

"Uh... I start, not sure what to say. I can't tell him! He obviously doesn't like me, then.

"Was I right? I mean, were you upset because I have a girlfriend? Do you like me?"

"Um... y-ye-es..." I stutter quietly. Ugh, I hate myself.

"Really?" I'm probably wrong about this.. but he sounds kind of happy. "I like you as well, Marianna. You're amazing, and gorgeous."

Me, gorgeous? No. I'm Hispanic, but super pale. I have terrible, curly hair, and I'm really short. The shortest seventeen-year-old I know, at only 5'1". He continues, breaking me from my thoughts, "But I just don't know. I've never had a long-distance relationship before. Let's just keep talking, maybe we'll be able to try eventually. And who know? I did apply for a college in Orlando. If I get in..." he trails off.

I take a moment to think about what he just said. It's so surprising. I mean, I'm just not.. likable. And I get what he means about not being sure about a long-distance relationship. I just really hope it happens. But I don't at all see why he would like me.

"Um..Kam? I don't understand... Why... why would you like me? I'm just... I'm me. Absolutely nothing special."

"Marianna, stop being so hard on yourself. You're perfect. Beautiful, sweet, kind, adorable. You're such an amazing friend, and just a great person in general. I am so glad to know you, even if we haven't yet met."

I can't think of anything to say to that. I stutter out, "U-um, wow. Th-thank you, Kam..."

"Mari! We're here!" I look to see that my three friends are standing in my doorway.

I'm jealous of them. Joseph, the boy, has a fading green mohawk and, like Anna, a pierced lip. He is the tallest of the siblings, at 6'3". Harlow, the shortest and most quiet of them. She has amazing, curly, golden hair that reaches the middle of her back. She is the youngest and smallest of them, at only 5'3". As she is so calm, Harlow is the one I'm closest to. Last but not least is Anna. She is the loudest, most outgoing person I know. She is tall and slim, about 5'9". Though she is naturally blonde like her siblings, she has her shoulder-length, always straightened hair dyed mostly black, except for her bangs, which are blue. While the triplets are fraternal, they all have the same stunning green eyes.

"Hey, guys! Uh, Kam? I have to go... t-text me, if you want."

"All right. Bye, Mari." I blush as he hangs up.

"Who was that? Why are you blushing? Aw, does our little MarMar have a boyfriend?" Joseph laughs, tackling me.

"Whoa. Not cool, JoJo." I giggle. "And Kamden isn't my b-boyfriend..."

"Good. 'Cause you're mine! You just don't know it yet. Well, now you do. But--" he gets cut off by Anna, who pulls him off of me.

"Back off, bitch. She's mine!"

I skip over to Harlow, sitting on her lap.

"See? She's mine.." Harlow says quietly with a chuckle.
Joseph pouts. "Whatever. Hey, Mari, you have a text. I'mma read it, okay? Okay."

He starts messing with my phone, Anna looking over his shoulder.

"It's from Kamden with a heart. Why does he get a heart? I want a heart. Do I have a heart? I am giving myself a heart." Joseph rants, messing with my phone again.

I am blushing madly now. "Um. N-no reason? What.. what did the text say?"

"Oh! It just said, 'hey, Mari. What's up? You had to get off the phone.' with a sad face. Who is he? I wanna know, you have to tell me, you have no choice." Anna answers me.

I guess I should explain. "H-he's this guy I met on Mibba. I.. I just. I really like him..." I trail off. By now, my face must be as pink as Anna's hair was the last time I saw her.