Some Days

Nestled into the corner was the brown leather chair that no one touched. Maybe it was because it was so far away from everyone else, or that it was by the window, meaning in the winter it was freezing, and during the summer it was burning. Either way, it was Alex's seat. Everyone knew that. Even the patients who heard voices knew it was Alex's. People steered clear of him not because he was violent, or cruel, but for the complete opposite. Alex liked to be left alone. He didn't talk, all he would do would occasionally draw, or read or hum. Other than that, none of the patients knew what his voice sounded like, or what had caused him to end up here. If it wasn't for the bandages that were constantly wrapped around his wrist, no one would have any hint as to why he was here. Humming, Alex opened the door out of his room and grabbed the book that was on the floor by the door. He always always woke up an hour before breakfast to be able to read. No one was up than, except for Annie, who didnt bother him. Annie was a fellow patient there, who constantly paced back and forth all day, muttering to herself. Alex didn't take his eyes off the floor as he dragged his feet to the chair. The nurses,dressed in the tradditional white, all walked slowly around,setting up for the upcoming breakfast,and he smelt something burning,and knew that breakfast would be ready soon. He plopped onto the chair with ease,and flipped open the book to where he tagged it last, immediatly drawn back into the story,finally away from the place.Alex had been reading for an hour now, not paying attention to the loud noises being set up from everywhere. Then he heard a door slam. "If you'll just turn right here,we can get you signed in and get you comfortable." His head snapped up. Someone new? He craned his neck to see,but couldn't see over the two burly guys standng infront of the new person. He bit his lip and weighed his options. Stay here,where he always sat,or do something different. He chose the later option and quietly set his book down,walking quietly to the station set up in the corner of the room. "Here we are,Ms.Johnson." Ms.Anderson wore a smile as she held the file above her head as if it was the holy grail. Alex couldn't resist a quick eye roll before he glanced over at the girl. She had clearly been crying,because her eyes were puffy and she kept sniffling,using the back of her hand to wipe her nose. "If you'll sign here--" Ms.Anderson began the speech she said to every new person. Alex rolled his eyes again,propping his elbow onto the counter,not looking and accidently knocking down the little holder of pens and pencils. All the workers whipped their heads around,while Alex dropped to his knees,quickly trying to pick up his mess.
"You're worthless!" He screamed at Alex,as he had accidently knocked over the small bowl of candy on the table. Alex fell to his knees quickly,trying to pick up the mess before they got angrier. His hands shook as he tried to complete the task. Not fast enough though. A swift kick in his side had him falling over,quickly into the fetal position,his eyes squinted shut to keep from crying at the pain radiacting in his stomach. "Piece of shit! You can't do anything right!" Alex shook his head,trying to get rid of the memories. They're gone. He told himself. It won't happen again. He was safe. He quickly had the pens returned in the case,and set them back right where it was. "Ah,Mr.Gaskarth." Ms.Anderson smiled, "Curious enough to leave his throne." Alex kept his eyes on the floor to keep from glaring at her. Ms.Anderon was the only one who gave him any problems,always talking down to him and calling his seat the throne. It annoyed him to no end. "Well,Ms.Johnson," She countinued,and her head snapped up,"You should feel very special." She laughed at her own joke. "Now,Alex,why don't you show her where her room is. Room 2b. You know where that is,right?" His face burned and he nodded to the floor, tyring to restrain himself from hurting her. "Very well. Ms.Johnson,if you have any questions,find one of us." And with that,the nurses on staff went back to setting up. She picked up her only luggage,a small brown backpack with various holes in it,and flung it on her shoulder,hopping her fingers onto it as if for protection. Alex didn't say anything but instead lead the way. If it wasn't for the sound of her dragging her feet,Alex wouldn't even know she was there. The walk to 2b was quick, and he stood to the side of the door,pointing in,indicating it was hers. "Thanks." She whispered,peeking her head in first. Alex tapped her on the shoulder,and she jumped before turning around. He pointed down the hall,and pointed to a room on the left,second to last door,and pointed back to himself. She nodded again,looking as if she wanted to smile,but it quickly turned into a grimace. She nodded once more before walking in and slowly.
More than anything,Alex thought as he made his way back to his seat, was that he wanted to be able to talk to this girl. He knew that was easier said than done. And what if she wasn't a huge talking fan either. He groaned quietly as he plopped back down in his seat and picked his book up. But he couldn't concentrate. All he atleast wanted to know was her name or something to go by maybe--"Breakfast!" Ms.Anderon's shrill voice rang through the hallway. Other nurses went door to door,opening them and repeating the message. Within five minutes everyone was out of their room and linning up by the front desk again. Morning pills. Before breakfast. It was any everyday routinue here,as normal as normal could get in a psych ward. He stood up and stretched,taking the oppurtinuty to look for the girl. The ward,for the first few days,supplied you with the mandatory clothing--white shirts and gray pants,and an old lady gray cardigan. He noticed her walking out uncomfortably with it,fidgiting with the sleeves,before glancing at all the people,and tightning the sweater around her torso. Her face became red and she dragged her feet to one of the table set up. Alex took this oppurtinuty to finally see her again. He tapped her on her shoulder and she jumped again,putting her hand over her heart,before sighing. Alex,using his thumb and pointer finger,met at the thumb,before slowly bring his fingers to his lips. Pills. He tried to say to her. He wished he could simply just say to her,"What's your name?" Or "Take your pills." But it wasn't that easy. It was never that easy. "Oh no,Ms.Carolina," Ms.Anderson called from the front station,"Every morning,first thing is pills.Get in line with Mr.Gaskarth." Carolina. Alex smiled,knowing at least one thing about her now. Her face red, she filled in line behind Alex,who was nervously bitting his nails,a bad habbit he had formed during his stay here. The line went slowly, since they had to take the right pills to different people, and making sure they took. Alex went first,expertly taking his with ease,and Carolina went next,following Alex's suit,although you could tell she was hesitatnt about them having to check to make sure they had them. “Mr.Gaskarth,” Ms.Anderon’s voice broke through Alex's thoughts again. His head snapped up, “Why don’t you and Carolina sit together?” The smile on her face clearly showed how she was enjoying this. Alex sighed as he rolled his eyes. Even in a psych ward he was miserable.Once finished, Carolina looked around uncomfortably. At school everyone had been separated into their own cliques; was it the same at a psych ward? She glanced at Alex for guidance, only to see him dragging his feet to a table in the far corner. “Ms. Johnson, you can sit with Alex.” She grabbed Carolina by her forearm and more or less dragged her to his table. “Mr. Gaskarth,” she clicked her tongue at him as she spoke, although Alex had his head down concentrating hard on the table. “Not a very good host, are we, Mr. Gaskarth?" Alex's head snapped up at the doctor approaching him and had to stop from groaning.
Dragging her feet behind Ms. Anderson was Carolina, looking around uncomfortably, clutching the cardigan around her. "Sit, sit, Carolina!" Ms. Anderson insisted, pushing her down into the seat. She glanced around. “Well, we don’t usually do this but...” Smiling, she glanced over her shoulder at the busy workers around her. She grabbed a small notebook out of the front pocket of uniform—a cheap dollar store one that had a kitten on it – and handed it to Alex. “We usually don’t do this since it’s not helping the patients, but for Alex...” She trailed off, turning to Carolina. “It’s been two years so.” She shrugged, handing the two pens before walking away.
Carolina bit her lip, glancing at Alex. His face had turned a dark red and he was shaking his head, glaring at the table. Is this how they treat everyone? Carolina wondered, biting her lip. They sure weren’t nice. Alex snatched the pad of the table and began writing, a second later pushing it back to her. Written in slanted letters was 'Why are you here?' She shook her head. If she wasn’t going to talk about it, she certainly wasn’t going to write it on paper. ‘Oh yeah, my names Carolina and I’m here for an eating disorder. Let’s be best friends.’ That sounds great, doesn’t it? Let’s scare off the one person who will talk to me. She grabbed her pen and scratched his writing out quickly, throwing it back at him in her messy writing, 'Why are you here?' She pushed it back to him, nibbling her lip as he picked his pen up again.
A white-coat man approached the table again, and she automatically became tense. The badge on his coat indicated his name was Carl. “Here you go,” he said, plopping two trays down in front of them. On it was burnt toast, orange juice and an over-easy egg that looked like it had been through hell and back. They didn’t really eat this, did they? She looked around to see if this was some kind of joke or if someone was going to pop out and tell her she was on Punk’d. No one did. Everyone slowly picked up their forks and tried their best to dig into it. She looked at it, wondering how she was possibly going to do anything with this when the notepad was slid to her again. She glanced up, seeing Alex slowly pick up the toast and rip the crusts off. 'I asked you first.' She rolled her eyes, how old were they?
Employees were walking around, their arms folded over their chest, craning their necks to see everyone’s plates, occasionally checking a clipboard they had. Self-conscious, she pulled her cardigan tighter around her, trying to hide her bulging stomach. The last thing she needed was food. When Carl came by again, his pen ready in his hand, she picked up her fork and moved her eggs around, trying to look like she was interested in it. When it was clear, she threw her fork down and picked up the pen, 'How old are we again?' She pushed it towards him. He wrote back again, 'You aren’t eating. I’m guessing you’re here for an eating disorder?' Her mouth dropped. Who did he think he was? Didn’t he have any manners? She shook her head, considering writing about how his wrist is bandaged so he must cut himself.
She shook her head; she wasn’t going down to his level. Instead, she scratched it out, until you couldn’t see any of it left, and instead, drew a tic-tac-toe board. She drew an X in the middle, indicating that was her and that she was first. She scooted it towards him with force as she popped a grape from the small bowl on her plate in her mouth to prove she could eat. She looked at him for the first time.
Besides the fact that she hadn’t heard him speak yet and had no idea what his voice sounded like or if he was smart or funny, he definitely wasn’t bad looking. He had brown, straight hair and was quite tall. Isn’t that what lots of people looked for in a boyfriend? Judging by his looks, though, her friends would be all over him. If they had met at the mall, no doubt her friends approach him with no problem, flirting with him as if it was nothing. He’d like it too and if she tried, he would definitely rather go out with her skinny, size zero, blonde friends, making her look like a whale in front of them.
She looked at him again, to see him roll his eyes but smile for a half a second, drawing an ‘O’ in the top left corner. He pushed it back, and she quickly claimed the middle bottom, handing it back. She took a stab at her egg, tearing it apart, giving the illusion that she had eaten. Alex slid the pad over as someone plopped next to Carolina, making her jump. “You’re Caroline, right? You’re new?” She glanced at Alex who rolled his eyes and was taking his anger out on his egg, repeatedly stabbing it. “Uhm y-yeah, m’names Carolina.” She nodded, “My names Micci. What’re you here for?”
Carolina looked around uncertain. Was that everyone’s go to question instead of talking about the weather? “Well, uh—“ Alex slammed his cup down, making Micci jump. “Oh, hi Alex.” She sighed, a wide smile on her face. She obviously had a crush on her. She wouldn’t blame her if she did- she had long curly blonde hair down to waist, bright blue eyes, and was easily a size zero. She also had no obvious signs of why she was here; no bandages on her wrist, no scars, and was confident enough that Carolina doubted she had an eating disorder. “Alex’s not much of a talker, is he?” She giggled, and Carolina smiled weakly at her. “Why don’t you come sit by us, we actually talk.” She winked. Carolina looked around for an excuse not to, when she given just that. A nurse called out to her, shaking a small Dixie cup of pills, while Micci skipped to the nurse as if she was going to accept an award, not getting a cup of pills.
The pad was shoved roughly to her again, and above the game they were playing was, 'You don’t want to talk to Micci. Just trust me on this.' She scrunched her eyebrows, quickly writing back a Why? Just then the nurse came by again, “Carolina, why don’t you finish eating and then worry about being friends with people, hmm? We’re more worried about getting you better than you making friends.” With that he took the pad and shoved it into his pocket.
Carolina sighed, she knew Alex wasn’t going to straight out talk to her so they couldn’t talk anymore and the nurse had just admitted in front of all the patients that she was here for treatment of her eating disorder. She let her hair fall in front of her face and peeked at Alex from underneath it. Did he think she was a total freak? I bet he’s smirking like crazy, enjoying this. When she finally got the courage to look up and see him he wasn’t smiling happily, but was concentrating on his toast as if his life depended on it. Nurses came along now, collecting dirty plates, writing on their clipboard. She gulped, panicking and holding her breath as they came by. Carl tsk-ed when he saw her plate, but accepted it, clearing it into a bin before making a note on the board. “Next time, you won’t be sitting by Mr. Gaskarth.”
She groaned, looking around to see what people would do now. “W-what now?” She asked Alex but instantly regretted it, knowing he wasn’t going to say anything to her. She slammed her fist on the table, making Alex jump and nurses crane their necks to see if they would need to come in. “Fucking ridiculous.” She muttered, walking away, again, pulling her cardigan close to her.
Alex looked down at the table, disappointed in himself that he couldn’t say anything. The doctors and nurses had long given up on him and threatened to kick him out soon if he didn’t make any progress or at least attempt to get better. But how could they expect him to wake up one day and just be miraculously cured and talking? One thing’s for sure though, he had to stay here and get better because this was his only home. He had nowhere to go if this didn’t work out.