Famine

Maybe I’ve written this down too many times to count. This however does not leave my mind. I’ve tried to forget, trust me but even so I become trapped in the past of a long ago war. Still I survive though, to tell you all. This is how I find meaning in the mundane acts of survival we must show as everything falls apart. I saw the things I loved the most put in jeopardy and witnessed the vicious turning of winds in the world I once shared with the living and doomed. I chose to betray my purpose and abuse my contract in order to save the lives of those who loved and hated me. My death was erased from the records of a society who once acknowledged my life as pitiful as it was, it was mine. Nothing written in a paper and shoved in my face by Death could make me believe otherwise. I am now just a plague bestowed on mankind selected only because of my blatant displays of self destruction. In the eyes of my father I didn’t show any appreciation for my life therefore giving me the task of destroying humanity seemed like the perfect idea because I would not care. He could see me making cities starve and spreading famine across the world which is why he made me this way.

Now that I am dead I am forced to fulfill my initial purpose and do away with them. My life on Earth was temporary and it is of no surprise that I killed myself but everything else was ignored. I was running away from something it was not my intention to die! It makes me angry and it burns inside how unfair this all is. My daughter, my family and the man that I once loved were never real enough to be kept alive because to these higher beings it never seemed like I appreciated them enough.

That day I was running away from Suicide, ironically only to be hit by a white 1994 Honda Civic and killed on impact. I died trying to run away from some psychotic guy that wanted to beat me to a bloody pulp. His mind was wiped clean and the driver that hit me collided with a UPS truck that wasn’t too far away. I thought I was faster and I was wrong. I was caught like a dear in the headlights, but it’s weird. It didn’t hurt like I thought it would. It just burned a lot. My body felt like it had been doused in gasoline and lit on fire. My skin felt like it was pealing and I was being lifted. Funny, I made fried chicken trying to play chicken. I could see everything and then it all turned blurry.

I was gone. Far away I could hear sirens. Then it all turned white and I woke up sitting down in a black room full of television sets in front of desk with a box on top of it. That’s when I met him. This boy, for some reason his face seemed to bother me like I had seen him before.

“You’re wondering why my face looks so familiar.” He brought the thoughts right out of my head. It disturbed me how much my mind felt like it was being pushed by an outer force like something was trying to get in.

“Yes…why, what’s going on?” I didn’t open my mouth but somehow I got the frightening feeling he knew what I had just said even though it never got the chance to leave my tongue. I found out no matter how much I tried to speak no words would flow. It was like the volume was cut. However my thoughts seemed to echo in my head and so did his.

“Don’t waste your breath, the dead can’t talk.” He said this so smugly.