Open Your Eyes
Burkenstein
"So why didn't you ever call or write?" I asked while stuffing my face with some Lucky Charms cereal I found in one of the boxes in the kitchen. At first Evan and I just stood there staring at each other for what felt like hours. Mostly I was just checking him out, him and his six pack. I also noticed though, that he had the most incredible ocean blue eyes I had ever seen and his dirty blonde hair brought them right out. He was gorgeous, that was for sure.
"I didn't know your number or address." He said simply while shrugging his shoulders. "What was your excuse?" He sounded like a mixture of irritated, hurt, and mockery. I suddenly felt very responsible for why we stopped talking and that didn't sit well with me. I hated being the reason for losing touch with the only person I had ever allowed myself to trust completely. Don't get me wrong, I had friends in P.E.I, but they never lived up to Evan. I knew that they'd all be swooning over him right now if they were here. I made a mental note to never lose touch with them, especially Elizabeth. Aside from Evan she was probably the only understanding one of the bunch.
I remember how I first met her too; it was a year after we had moved and I still hadn't made very many friends. Elizabeth was originally home-schooled but her parents decided to put her into public school half way through that year. She was new to the class and didn't know very many people either and so we sort of just ended up paired together for everything. We did all of our group projects together and because of that ended up spending a lot of time at each other's houses. This then turned into a weekly thing to just hangout and then before we knew it we were together at either her house or mine everyday. We've been friends ever since then.
"I don't know." I said quietly. "I'm sorry." I didn't want to tell him that the real reason I never got in touch was because I was scared. That it was because I wanted to know that he forgave me for that last day we saw each other. I wanted him to get in touch first but he never did which makes a lot of sense seeing as he didn't have my address or my number. I mean, how could he? I told him the day before we moved I was leaving. I didn't even know myself where that was and what number we would have.
"Well, life happens is all." He said smiling a very sad smile at me. I smiled back weakly and shoved some more cereal in my mouth. I felt like if we were any other pair of teenagers right now this would be abnormal. Most of the time when kids lose touch they end up growing up and forgetting about each other entirely. It seemed weird to think that we both continued to remember all of these years. Despite the abnormalness of the situation, it made me feel comforted.
"So, how has your life been?" I said trying desperately to change the subject. He seemed to be the type of person that liked to have fun. Maybe he has some interesting stories I can laugh at. I absolutely love it when people tell me funny stories that have happened to them; they always make my day.
"Life. Ha." He said mockingly but then quickly became serious and said, "It's pretty decent, I guess. Not much going on for me right now, I'm sort of just stuck in time." I looked at him confused waiting for him to explain further but he just chuckled and shrugged him shoulders. So I guess I should scratch the whole story telling thing, because I really don't think he has any and if he does he doesn't feel like sharing them.
"Besides moving, not much has been happening in mine either." I said pretending that he had said 'so what about your life?' I hated trying to make small talk with people when there were bigger issues that needed to be discussed. We had to talk about that day sooner or later. I wanted so badly to just run to the stable where we dropped Hansel off and go for a ride. "Do you still have your horse?"
"He..." He seemed so hesitant and as soon as I asked the question his eyes turned very glazed over and sad. "He, um, he died last year." He said running a hand through his hair. I immediately regretted asking him that. I felt a tug at my heart and it wasn't a good tug. I loved that horse to death and hearing that he's dead makes me want to cry.
"How?" I said feeling my eyes water. He didn't answer for a while which made me feel like that wasn't a very good question to ask. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." He waved his hands out in front of him and looked me in the eyes.
"It was a fair question. You loved that horse too." He said quietly. "Remember how I got him?" My mind flashed back to the day my dad and I went to pick out my horse. There were a two brother horses being sold as a pair and I loved Hansel so much that he bought them both and we gave, Burkenstein, the second horse to Evan. I remember the look on his face when we brought him to the stable to meet Burks for the first time. It was a mixture of shock and pure excitement. I don't think I've ever seen a better facial expression on him than that one. It made me smile.
"I remember." I said smiling. "You fell in love with him the second you saw him." I watched Evan as his mind traced back through memories of Burks and him. I remember none of us liking the name Burkenstein and changing it to Burks for short. I liked the sound of Burks way better anyways.
"You bet I did." He said laughing. "He hated me at first though! I swear he wouldn't let me ride him for the longest time. He let everybody else ride him, but never me." I laughed remembering the countless amount of times that Burks had flung Evan off of his back. I remember Evan breaking his arm one day but not caring and getting back on the horse the next day with a cast on.
"He loved you the most I think." I said looking at him and holding eye contact. "He could tell you loved him the most out of everybody and that scared him. Poor horse." I was smiling, trying to make Evan feel better about why his horse was so moody with him at first. I decided to just let my earlier question about how the horse died, go.
"Honey, who are you talking to?" My mom said walking into the kitchen. I looked at her and then back at Evan confused. Could she not see the six foot guy sitting in our kitchen laughing at me? She looked over towards Evan and then back to me without greeting him at all whatsoever. I thought that was kind of rude.
"Evan's here." I said confused and pointing towards Evan at the otherside of the table. Her gaze followed my hand until she reached Evan again but she still stayed expressionless. She looked back over at and just stared at me blinking. I felt a bit uncomfortable and squirmed in my seat.
"You're so funny! Ha ha." She said laughing at me and then walking out of the kitchen. That whole event that just happened seemed extremely strange to me. I looked over at Evan who just shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes while smiling. I threw a piece of cereal at him and looked back over to the entrance of the kitchen where my mom had been standing.
"Maybe she needs glasses?" Evan suggested while laughing. I threw another piece of cereal at him before shoving a big handful into my mouth. If Evan hadn't seen me eat messy before, he definitely has now. I didn't really care though, eating food in front of guys never really phases me like it does with most girls. I turned my gaze towards Evan and stared at him. I couldn't help but wonder why my mother had acted so strangely. Why couldn't this family just be normal?
"I didn't know your number or address." He said simply while shrugging his shoulders. "What was your excuse?" He sounded like a mixture of irritated, hurt, and mockery. I suddenly felt very responsible for why we stopped talking and that didn't sit well with me. I hated being the reason for losing touch with the only person I had ever allowed myself to trust completely. Don't get me wrong, I had friends in P.E.I, but they never lived up to Evan. I knew that they'd all be swooning over him right now if they were here. I made a mental note to never lose touch with them, especially Elizabeth. Aside from Evan she was probably the only understanding one of the bunch.
I remember how I first met her too; it was a year after we had moved and I still hadn't made very many friends. Elizabeth was originally home-schooled but her parents decided to put her into public school half way through that year. She was new to the class and didn't know very many people either and so we sort of just ended up paired together for everything. We did all of our group projects together and because of that ended up spending a lot of time at each other's houses. This then turned into a weekly thing to just hangout and then before we knew it we were together at either her house or mine everyday. We've been friends ever since then.
"I don't know." I said quietly. "I'm sorry." I didn't want to tell him that the real reason I never got in touch was because I was scared. That it was because I wanted to know that he forgave me for that last day we saw each other. I wanted him to get in touch first but he never did which makes a lot of sense seeing as he didn't have my address or my number. I mean, how could he? I told him the day before we moved I was leaving. I didn't even know myself where that was and what number we would have.
"Well, life happens is all." He said smiling a very sad smile at me. I smiled back weakly and shoved some more cereal in my mouth. I felt like if we were any other pair of teenagers right now this would be abnormal. Most of the time when kids lose touch they end up growing up and forgetting about each other entirely. It seemed weird to think that we both continued to remember all of these years. Despite the abnormalness of the situation, it made me feel comforted.
"So, how has your life been?" I said trying desperately to change the subject. He seemed to be the type of person that liked to have fun. Maybe he has some interesting stories I can laugh at. I absolutely love it when people tell me funny stories that have happened to them; they always make my day.
"Life. Ha." He said mockingly but then quickly became serious and said, "It's pretty decent, I guess. Not much going on for me right now, I'm sort of just stuck in time." I looked at him confused waiting for him to explain further but he just chuckled and shrugged him shoulders. So I guess I should scratch the whole story telling thing, because I really don't think he has any and if he does he doesn't feel like sharing them.
"Besides moving, not much has been happening in mine either." I said pretending that he had said 'so what about your life?' I hated trying to make small talk with people when there were bigger issues that needed to be discussed. We had to talk about that day sooner or later. I wanted so badly to just run to the stable where we dropped Hansel off and go for a ride. "Do you still have your horse?"
"He..." He seemed so hesitant and as soon as I asked the question his eyes turned very glazed over and sad. "He, um, he died last year." He said running a hand through his hair. I immediately regretted asking him that. I felt a tug at my heart and it wasn't a good tug. I loved that horse to death and hearing that he's dead makes me want to cry.
"How?" I said feeling my eyes water. He didn't answer for a while which made me feel like that wasn't a very good question to ask. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." He waved his hands out in front of him and looked me in the eyes.
"It was a fair question. You loved that horse too." He said quietly. "Remember how I got him?" My mind flashed back to the day my dad and I went to pick out my horse. There were a two brother horses being sold as a pair and I loved Hansel so much that he bought them both and we gave, Burkenstein, the second horse to Evan. I remember the look on his face when we brought him to the stable to meet Burks for the first time. It was a mixture of shock and pure excitement. I don't think I've ever seen a better facial expression on him than that one. It made me smile.
"I remember." I said smiling. "You fell in love with him the second you saw him." I watched Evan as his mind traced back through memories of Burks and him. I remember none of us liking the name Burkenstein and changing it to Burks for short. I liked the sound of Burks way better anyways.
"You bet I did." He said laughing. "He hated me at first though! I swear he wouldn't let me ride him for the longest time. He let everybody else ride him, but never me." I laughed remembering the countless amount of times that Burks had flung Evan off of his back. I remember Evan breaking his arm one day but not caring and getting back on the horse the next day with a cast on.
"He loved you the most I think." I said looking at him and holding eye contact. "He could tell you loved him the most out of everybody and that scared him. Poor horse." I was smiling, trying to make Evan feel better about why his horse was so moody with him at first. I decided to just let my earlier question about how the horse died, go.
"Honey, who are you talking to?" My mom said walking into the kitchen. I looked at her and then back at Evan confused. Could she not see the six foot guy sitting in our kitchen laughing at me? She looked over towards Evan and then back to me without greeting him at all whatsoever. I thought that was kind of rude.
"Evan's here." I said confused and pointing towards Evan at the otherside of the table. Her gaze followed my hand until she reached Evan again but she still stayed expressionless. She looked back over at and just stared at me blinking. I felt a bit uncomfortable and squirmed in my seat.
"You're so funny! Ha ha." She said laughing at me and then walking out of the kitchen. That whole event that just happened seemed extremely strange to me. I looked over at Evan who just shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes while smiling. I threw a piece of cereal at him and looked back over to the entrance of the kitchen where my mom had been standing.
"Maybe she needs glasses?" Evan suggested while laughing. I threw another piece of cereal at him before shoving a big handful into my mouth. If Evan hadn't seen me eat messy before, he definitely has now. I didn't really care though, eating food in front of guys never really phases me like it does with most girls. I turned my gaze towards Evan and stared at him. I couldn't help but wonder why my mother had acted so strangely. Why couldn't this family just be normal?
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