Story Written By Susan, Tia, Patty and I

Once there was an exotic dancer named Tila Tila who was accepted into the academy for those who like assorted shoes.
One day she stumbled into the magical wardrobe when she was drunk. She met a striped unicorn named Charlie.
The unicorn exploded. Then Gandalf came and yelled, "You shall not pass!" Tila Tila was all like, "BOOM SHAKA LAKA, I
SHALL PASS!" Then Gandalf was all like, "TILA TILA, SHAKE THAT ASS LIKE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD!" So she danced. Oh how she
danced. Gandalf let her pass. And the striped unicorn stopped her and said, "Madam, I should advise you there is a h*rny
toad up the path." "Should I be concerned?" asked Tila Tila. "Yes," he said. But Tila Tila did not heed his warning and
danced up that path of baby-wanting toads. "BEFORE YOU MEET IT, TALK TO RAINBOW THE NARWHAL!" the unicorn yelled.
Tila Tila was looking for the narwhal. The narwhal sailed in on a rainbow and started flopping around. "Don't look at me
like that," it said, "I'm not h*rny, just because I'm horned!" Tila Tila said to the narwhal, "I'm supposed to talk to
you?" The narhwal announced, "DID YOU TALK TO THE WEASEL?' And then Tila Tila was like, "No" and the narwhal yelled,
"FOOL I AM THE WEASEL!" Swiper the Weasel, cousin of Swiper the Fox, was very insulted by that remark and weasled away.
The narwhal calmed down and said, "You must be wise, booty shaking one, for what lies ahead. He's so h*rny that he wants
a gerbil nibbling your ass through a tube." Tila Tila, being a descendant of the Tia's, was all like, "B*tch, please, I
can handle gerbils!" "Fine." Said the narwhal, "Do not use my wisdom." Then Susan waddled in the story like a penguin
and yelled, "SORRY WRONG STORY!" The Tia's were an amazing race of beautiful intellectuals. So Tila Tila totally thought
she had this in the bag. Then a dying retarded walrus came rolling in the swamp and was like, "You can play this old
thing and tried to roll out its wrinkly-" "AHEM!" said Tia, "KEEP IT PG 23!" And the walrus said, "I'm ready when you are
babe." "DA FUQ?" Tila Tila yelled. And then he waddled away, waddle waddle. A male Tia came to her sight and was like,
"Helllloo, beautiful, for you are the one who is so swift of the buttcheeks." "I do have pretty nice cheeks, don't I?" said
Tila Tila. "My, yeeees," said the male Tia. Then Susan started yelling and throwing bacon in the air. Being a Tia, he
quickly charmed her and the penguin, made them both under his control and made the penguin jump off a cliff. Then Le Susan
appeared again!Anyway, a long tongue shot through the air and ate the bacon, it was the toad! Quickly Tila Tila tried
shaking her bootyliciousness to distract the toad so she could continue to flirt with the Tia. A photo-bombing Casey got
in the way, though. The toad was drooling until the Casey showed up. Then a bunch of h*rny toads came and scared the Casey.
"There goes that Casey!" said the narwhal. "Dat ass," said the toad about Tila Tila's movements. Then a duck came and
waddled away, waddle waddle. The toads soon started shooting their tongues at Tila Tila. One hit her boob and she was like,
"NOOO!" Then Tila Tila ran away in her 9 inch heels all the way to Switzerland and she was safe. Or so she thought. Because
many of the toads had latched onto her and the king toad was like, "She's mine!" Then a stampede of Susans came in. Tila
Tila was like, "Is this legal?" The king's duck whacked away the stampede. "Very much!" said the king. The stampede ran
over the king. But he reassembled himself. Persistent bugger. "Now that stampede is gone, we shall feast our h*rny
cravings." Then a wild Gandalf appeared and whacked off all the toads! There were whispers so loud, Gandalf was too
distracted off her bandonkadonkadonk. Then his pants fell. The fallen pants grew legs and kicked the toads' ducks. So the
king invited Gandalf to their feast. "Can I have my clothes back?" asked Tila Tila. "The Feast Of Tila Tila, if y'know
what I mean," said a Susanna. They all started shouting, "BABIES BABIES BABIES!" so a stork came and gave them poached
babies, just how they like 'em! The king said, "We might let you go if you pleasure me. SMD!" "SURE! STRAWBERRIES PLEASE
EVER-- OH. You meant pleasure you s*xually." Then Le wild Susan came in and kileld everyone. The end :D (Not!)
He demanded Tila Tila bend over now! So, Tila Tila bent over as far as she could. The king and the others were so
fascinated that they ordered her to have their babies. The king said, "One of us will gain a child from you." Before
the wild Susannasaurus took over the world, Rainbow the narwhal flew in and was like, "OH DAYUUUUM!" at her ass. He then
threw rainbow bombs at the toads and said, "LET HER GO!" The explosion was, of course, in the shape of a rainbow p*n*s.
The toad king was terrifed and said all he wanted was babies and s*x! So Tila Tila said, "Aw hell naw!" And the narwhal
took her to a place where she could shake her booty in peace. The end. Oh and Susan took over the world.