How the Heart Beats

I stared at her through the holes in my mask, ignoring the small stir in my chest. I was sure my face was blank and emotionless as I has trained it to be, but knew she couldn’t see it under the cool ceramic mask either way. She reached over and tapped me on the arm.

“Is that Skillet you’re listening to?” She asked again, louder. She must’ve thought I hadn’t heard her over the music in my ears. I nodded, looking away again and out the dirty bus window at the landscape passing by.

“Oh, cool! I really like Skillet.” I didn’t look at her, but I could feel her smile hitting my back like a ray of sunshine. I rolled my shoulders back and sat straighter, staring stiffly out the window.

“Good for you,” I murmured, not caring whether or not she’d heard me. She was too happy and perky, probably a cheerleader, I assumed. I took an instant dislike of her. Had there been less people around, I might’ve killed her then and there. My stop arrived before she said anything else, and before the urge to kill overwhelmed me. I stood, pushing past the stranger and shoved my way out of the crowded bus.

“What do you need?” I asked Seb, trying to get him to cut to the chase. Seb and I had been friends for a few years now, so it wasn't unusual that he’d asked me over, but something told me he wasn't merely interested in playing video games or watching TV and my intuition about those things was usually right. I eyed him carefully, unsure of his motives. Seb was a good enough friend; he was younger than me, but was good at manipulating people and getting what he wanted from them. For that reason, I was always careful around him, making sure to stay a step ahead so not to get played.

“Well, Shadow, truth is, I need your help,” He said, sitting atop his marble counter and sipping from a bottle of water, “I know you know about the war going on. It’s dreadfully obvious to anyone with a brain. But the point is I want you to join my clan and become a part of my army. You’re the best fighter I’ve ever met and I know you’d make a great soldier.” He looked me up and down, his lips twitching into an almost smile.

“Sure.” I shrugged. It was an easy enough task and I knew that he was right. I could kill quickly and mercilessly; I was bound to join some sort of militia someday. At seventeen, I was strong and limber, with a lack of emotions not seen in the average person. Plus, I enjoyed the carnage, so it seemed to be a natural fit. Seb saved my life once and I was sure this would be the easiest way to repay him.

“Great! I’ll make you a General right away. You’re pretty well trained already, so that saves me a lot of time. Meet me at this address tomorrow; that’s headquarters and I’ll give you a tour of the place. We’ll get you set up with everything you need. You can even start training your subordinates tomorrow if you want.” He smiled then and, if I hadn’t known better, I’d have said he almost looked human, but I did know better and Seb was no human.

With a handshake unofficially sealing our deal, I left, not wishing to stick around and do some brainless activity about which neither of us truly cared. I walked the mile and a half it took me to get back to the place I called home; a small dingy apartment that had a single bedroom just big enough for a bed and a small dresser. It was all that I could afford, but I didn’t mind. I spent most of my time outside and at school, so it as usually just a place I slept and sometimes ate. A residence to give out when I needed to do so, a formality, if you will.

After both my encounter with the preppy girl on the bus and my meeting with Seb, my need for a drink was higher than average. I went to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of thick, red liquid from the fridge. The sweet, iron scent wafted up and filled my nose. Feeling my pupils go wide with pleasure and hunger, I took a long pull from the bottle and drank until my need ebbed. I knew if I drank too much it would only make being around the humans more difficult. I licked my lips clean and ran my tongue over my sharp teeth, relishing in the taste of the blood. For a moment, my mind flashed back to the girl on the bus. Though she’d sat next to me of her own free will, that wasn’t the only strange thing about her. There was something else. Something I couldn’t quite place. I sighed and shook it off, making my way to the bathroom.

The bathroom was a humble room. The sink had a drippy faucet and the shower was never the temperature I wanted, no matter which way I turned the dial, but the room did what I needed it to do and that was all that mattered to me. I looked at my reflection in the small, cracked mirror above the sink. Staring back at me was the cold beauty of the mask’s painted features. I ran my fingers over a few of the cracks inlaid in the ceramic and felt my lips curl into a smile as I remembered the fights that earned the fractures. I lifted the mask away from my face and studied my own features for a long moment. My lips were thin and long and covered a set of sharp, perfectly straight white teeth. Upwards from my mouth was a slightly crooked nose that had been broken more than once. My eyes were cold black pieces of onyx that had great potential to be expressive, but instead were dark and guarded. They were framed by thick dark eyelashes that curled up to meet wide eyebrows. My eyebrows arched in just the right manner around my mostly Japanese eyes. I ran my fingers down my clean shaven strong jaw and couldn’t help but smile. I wasn’t the most handsome individual ever- I had my share of scars and imperfections- but I knew I wasn’t an ugly guy and a small part of me enjoyed that no one else ever saw the man behind the mask. I ran my hand through my thick black hair and sighed. The dark circles made me look creepy or like I was dying, even though they were actually just from a lack of sleep. Having had enough of looking at myself, I replaced the bandages on my arm and wandered back into the kitchen.

I decided that I would go to the forest and practice, so I packed a sandwich and some of my weapons into a book bag. Taking my iPod and the sword that never left my side; I headed out without a second thought. It was a fifteen mile walk to the forest and another half mile to my favourite clearing, but I couldn’t think of any better place to train.

I wandered into the thicket of trees that bordered my clearing without even the sound of twigs snapping beneath my stealthy, silent feet. The only things that resided in the forest, other than the animals and I, were dangerous creatures, though I liked to think that I fell into that category as well. I was always able to fight off anything and anyone that threatened my territory without a question. The few I let live gave word to others and it quickly became known that the area was not to be visited, so I was usually left alone.

When I reached the clearing, I set my things down by my favourite tree, under which I proceeded to sit and do my pre-training meditation. After about twenty minutes of deep, soulful meditation, I stood and stretched my muscles. I would train hard that night, until it hurt to breathe and I was bleeding. And then I would train some more. Seb would not regret his decision; of that much I was sure.

The next day, I woke up on the floor of my apartment. I blinked a few times and looked around. Once everything came into focus, I found that I had not even made it to the couch when I’d gotten home. My muscles throbbed and it felt like war drums were being beaten in my head. And though a voice in there told me I’d be better off if I didn’t move, I forced myself up regardless.

“No pain, no gain.” I whispered as I struggled to my feet. I glanced at the clock on my wall; it was still early. I knew I’d have time for a run before I met with Seb. But first, I decided, I had a few more important things to do.

I went to my bathroom; relieved myself, showered, and tended to my wounds. Then, feeling slightly more refreshed, I found my way into the kitchen, put some Pop Tarts in my second hand toaster and drank the other half of the bottle of blood I’d started the day before in one sip. I forced down the Pop Tarts even though I wasn’t hungry. I decided it would be more efficient to combine my run and my trip to Seb’s headquarters, so I packed my things again and left my more than humble abode. Some Saturday.