What You Don't Know

Dear Diary,
I didn't think I'd ever get to this point in my life after all that I've trudged through in the past few years. I am truly amazed that I've arrived at junior year. If it hadn't been for a few "angels" of mine, I don't think I would have persevered this far, or I might not be here at all- mentally or physically.
I just cannot believe that tomorrow is the start of a "new life"-well at least to me. Maybe, this year I'll finally have the confidence to talk to Ty. So what if he never talks to me, that's going to change fast. Those fine blue eyes of his are going to elude me no longer.
I really want to be Ty's everything. Like that will happen, since every girl at Cassidy Falls High wants to be his everything, too. Maybe my impossible dream will finally come true-doubt that!Maybe this year will be my year. Not Kaeli's year. Not Tori's year. Not even Rosie's year. My year.

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I just finished putting a perfect outfit together for the first day of junior year - a grey Henley with a white tank, skinny jeans, and a pair of cute pink ballet flats. My sister, Lia, helped me choose the shirt and shoes. Now she's gone to her room to find a necklace, earrings and ring for me. "Gracie! I got 'em!" Lia yells from down the hall as I stand in front of my floor-length mirror admiring the outfit we chose. She walks in a few seconds later with jewelry in hand and our great danes, Rev and Nomar, in tow. They both jump onto my bed and settle on my lilac-colored comforter, watching us. "Okay, so, I figured since your wearing a grey Henley and pink flats that light green stones would work," she opens her hands, palms up, showing me the set of jewelry, "I got these last year at a flea market with Tyler. They didn't cost , but, when I got the set appraised, I found out it was worth hundreds."
"Wow!" Really?" I look at her, "you're actually going to let me wear these?"
"Yes, of course! I know I didn't let you wear my diamonds this past summer," she gives me an apologetic angel look, " but those were a gift from Tyler."
"Oh, okay, you yelled at me for even asking 'such a stupid question,'" I use air quotes to quote her.
"Be glad I'm letting you wear this set."
"Oh, don't. I am."
"Good, because it matches perfectly."
She smiles, walking behind me, and puts the necklace on my neck. Lia hands me the ring and earrings. I take a few seconds to put each earrings and ring on the appropriate places. "Now, look at and admire yourself as I go find my curling iron for tomorrow. Okay?" she asks, looking for affirmation from me. I just nod, taking myself in.
When she saunters out, I actually do take the time to really look at myself. I take in the necklace with the light green stones that have specks of white and black surrounded by swirling and twirling silver wire. The earrings and ring complete the look with more curls and whirls of wire than one can count. My eyes rove over the length of my body, taking in each curve and contour. Then, I look into the blue-green eyes that stare back at me. I've changed so much physically and emotionally.
I grew three inches over the summer, thinning me out and making my height 5'8". I'm a little scared of being so tall. I should have expected it because both my parents are over 6'. When I first noticed my growth, I freaked out because my anxiety kicked in. After everything, though, I overcame all of my anxieties, leaving my panic attacks in the dust. Though, I must admit the anxiety sneaks its way back every so often. I've changed so much. I'm no longer in a conundrum with my feelings. I finally feel...free.