What You Don't Know

I awaken to the feeling of Gracie shifting on me. I hear the late-night informercials. I open my eyes to see that Gracie has grabbed a bottle of water from the side table next to the armchair, and she's drinking it right now. "What time is it?" I ask groggily. "Uhmmm..." she looks up at the TV box's clock, "2:15 am." I grunt a bit. She giggles but starts choking on her swig of water she tried to swallow. "Arms up, Gracie," I laugh at the pre-school medical advice I give her. "Alright, alright," she coughs, "don't be a smart ass." She smiles up at me while still coughing and clearing her throat a bit. I bring my lips to her forehead and kiss her.
"Do you want to move to the couch?" I ask. My back has become cramped in the armchair. She nods her head. I shift so I can pick her up and cradle her. I bring her over to the sectional couch and place her near the pillows. I sit down next to her and pull her body close. "Are you okay?" she asks referring to her diary. "Yeah, you just never know what people have been through. I remember my mom telling me that everyone has a story that would break your heart and make you cry. I just didn't know that yours would make me cry like that. I don't know what to say or do other than hug you and say I'm sorry," I explain to her, "I care about you so much. I don't know how to explain that. I just...I want to be with you and make you feel good and happy and everything you should feel. I don't know how that happened, but it did. And, I'm so happy to have you." I can tell Gracie is getting teary-eyed. Her eyes have become so glassy with tears. Her cheeks turn 50 shades of crimson {hehe, no reference though}. "Why are you blushing, Gracie?" I ask her. Now her eyes have definitely welled up. She sighs and begins, "No one has ever shown that kind of affection towards me. No one has ever wanted me. No one has ever found me attractive or beautiful or anything. It's just," she stumbles a bit on her words, "no one has made me feel like you make me feel." She gives a huffy laugh and smiles up at me as a tear rolls down her face. I hold her even more tightly and give her a warm kiss.
"Gracie?" I inquire after sitting like that for a bit. "Yeah?" she answers softly.
"My biological father left my mom when I was five."
"I'm sorry, Ty."
"He was an abusive ass. Physically, mentally, and verbally abusive. Every time he hit my mom, I'd crawl under my bed and cover my ears. One day he found me cowering under my bed after he'd beaten my mom so bad that she had a concussion. He said to me that a gang beat her up and that's the story I'd tell people if they asked. And then...," I inhale a deep breath and exhale it out, "he beat me...and sexually assaulted me. He told me if I did what I was told he wouldn't touch me like that anymore. I started searching for new hiding spots. I found the closet, the laundry room cabinets, and my closet behind my Spiderman luggage. I always thought that Spidey would come and save me one day. I guess he did since my biological father was arrested when a neighbor was walking his dog and heard my mother screaming while my biological father beat her so bad that she was in the hospital for three weeks and raped her too. He did it in front of the living room windows.
He's not human. He can't be. My mom is a saint. I thank God that she's still her every day. I'm so happy that a neighbor called 911 that day and caught...him...in the act. He's in jail for the next 60 years with no chance of parole. I hate him so much, but I try not to focus on him at all, ever. I just...I succeed in hockey because of my mom, Brettly, and Brettly's dad. Brettly's dad make sure I always had hockey gear, clothes, something to eat especially when my mom went to therapy or the hospital. He's my dad now, too. I'm so proud of my mom. She has the hardest but best job in the world. I love my mom so much. She's my hero and role model." I finish my early life's monologue and look down into Gracie's eyes.
She's crying like I was last night. I think she's in shock. "I'm so sorry that it happened to you," she starts sobbing and grabs me even more tightly, crying into my shirt. "Hey, it's okay," I rub her back. "But it's not," she cries into my shirt, "how did you even move on from that?" I kiss the top of her head while steadily rubbing her back. "I just did. I went to therapy. Moved into a new house. My mom adopted Maggie. And we lived. That's just what we HAD to do. So we did it, and look at us now. Well, not the whole Maggie getting shot thing, but look at how well we're doing now," I nudge her a bit.
"You're really strong and brave and the one of the best things in my life," she lifts her head from my chest, "I'm going to have to hug your mom when I see her you know that right?" "Okay," I laugh out a little bit. Who knew it would be Gracie would be the person I'd admit my biggest secret to? Who knew?